Are there normal girls who would like and understand me?

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Okay so I'm 17 6'7 and I have aspergers and I have dark blonde hair with greenish blue eyes. So I've never have had a girlfriend and I have not had my first kiss yet and I'm a virgin too. So I'm going to be a senior this year and I want to get my first girlfriend this year. So there's no (at least that I know of) girls at my high school that have aspergers so I've never met a girl who has aspergers. I want a girlfriend and a relationship because I'm lonely and I've never been in love before and I want a girl who will be there for me. So are there any girls that would like me even though I have no experience when it comes to dating romantic relationships and sex, and I'm tall and have aspergers? And are there girls who would find my aspergers cute?

I'm sure there are girls both Aspies and NT's who would be attracted to you.
I have 4 boys, the two oldest are on the spectrum and hadn't dated until they were in their early twenties, now the oldest is married and a father, the second one has been in a relationship with the same girl for almost 4 years now (both had first girlfriends at age 21. My own husband was 23 when we started dating and I was his first girlfriend.
Good luck, don't be desparate and don't get down on yourself, you have a lot to offer.

Some may find the awkwardness associated with AS cute, like "awww, he's shy!" I didn't have a relationship until I was 17 either and it didn't turn out well at all. People in high school and college tend to be really shallow so don't get your hopes up. If you're attractive, you'll probably have better luck. Just enjoy yourself and someone will come along naturally.

17 is really young! I'm 25 and unfortunately still haven't gotten any experience with women. And I don't think I will want to settle into a long-term relationship with the first woman who accepts me, like websister's kids did.

But I *would* advise you to take advantage of whatever opportunities come along. I passed up some real good chances at around your age, due to not being in a hurry, and then when I started college, it got WAY harder.

I didn't date or even kiss a guy until I was on college, older than you! I don't think it is at all unusual to be inexperienced at your age. It has nothing to do with looks- meaning it isn't your looks keeping you from getting a girlfriend. It just hasn't happened for you yet. Just relax and don't try too hard to get the experience because then it will make you seem more awkward. Do things you enjoy, and hopefully you will get out and meet some girls who are similar to you. Then it all just happens naturally.

I've dated girls, but haven't dated anyone since 11th grade. Even then, I didn't really do anything beyond kissing.

I'm also very selective about who I date. My two big rules: 1) No moms (Although I make allowances for cougars), and 2) no fat chicks (Thick girls are my limit).

Yes.

If not in high school, more likely later on. I never even held hands in a romantic way until I was 22. Some of us were (or will be) late starters, but are hardly hopeless.

Are you going to college after high school? You'll find that college people are generally less judgmental, and they begin to recognize deeper attractive traits in people that they wouldn't have cared about earlier on. My social life really didn't start until College.

Of course all the women say to wait and it will work out. They have no clue. Never ever listen to women for dating advice. You may get "lucky" and fit whatever criteria attracts American women, or you may not. I never did. By my late 20s, I went to Mexico where I was able to date and met my wife. Don't take rejection by American women personally. I think American women are the worst people in the world (I have traveled extensively) and so are attracted to the worst men. Rejection by American women should be considered a kind of complement, like you aren't bad enough to satisfy them. Just remember that non-feminist countries are full of women who are actually attracted to decent men, so you can always date there.

Last edited by fs on 22 Aug 2010, 10:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There are girls out there that are willing to date aspie guys.

I met one such girl at the tail end of my junior year of high school which was back in May of 2008. Her name was Maia and she was very pretty as well as having a good personality and beliefs. I got along with her well from the moment we met. She smiled at me multiple times since February of that year. She gave me a hug on my 17th birthday, which to me, was a very nice thing to do.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I never had a chance to date her. She tried to ask me out twice. On the first, one of her male friends developed a personal grudge on me (because of my AS) and nearly succeeded in killing our friendship. She only remained friends with me because she knew of my AS diagnosis. On the second, one of her female friends that didn't like me managed to persuade her that I wasn't interested.

She developed a solid friendship with me by January of 2009. Since then, we have remained good friends.

My advice about dating is that you've just got to keep trying. Eventually, you'll find the right girl for you.

It'll happen eventually. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.

Normal is such a subjective term. I am Autistic, to me that is normal because that is all I have ever been. The question is what do you consider to be normal?

Hey there!

So, I'm an NT woman who's dating a quasi-Aspie guy. (He told me he has taken some tests and falls somewhere between "normal for an engineer" and Aspie.) I find him brilliant, funny, sensitive, romantic, creative, handsome, competent, reliable - and yes, sometimes a tad socially awkward. Plus, he gets overwhelmed by crowds, chaos and excessive noise.

He didn't seriously date anyone until he was 20 and in college. He has also told me that he had to consciously learn how to interact with other students at his university - i.e. it took him a while to figure out "Hey, I'm fine, how are you?" and other casual social greetings.

I guess what I'm saying is, two things: you can always build on your social / emotional skills to connect better with other people... and, if someone is really worth pursuing as a partner, she'll focus on your good qualities rather than on your "limitations."

I agree with Erisad in that adults have an easier time of it in some ways. We're probably given more leeway by our peers to be eccentric - high school and college students tend to have more of a herd mentality.

Finally: yes, I sometimes find my boyfriend's social awkwardness cute as heck.

- Abby

I married an Aspie, although there is some possibility I am one myself.

You haven't posted anything to rule you out as a date for someone single and in your age group.

Just be aware, that dating at your age often goes wrong for any variety of reasons that won't be unique to you. Just learn from it and try again.

Yeah, this is so the case with me, as soon as I started opening up and being myself around girls they would say "aww" to just about everything I say and they still do kinda

BigDoubleK, you just need to be yourself and seem comfortable with yourself, and girls will be comfortable around you. Since you're tall, girls will always notice someone who is 6'7", especially if you are a bit skinny/lanky. But you also have to be clean, I don't know if you smell good and shower everyday but that is a must and girls will always flock to a guy who smells good. Then wait for an opportunity to ask a girl a question or her opinion on something relevant, and if she thinks you're funny, she'll want to be around you. This probably won't get you a girlfriend right away but in high school the more friends you have that are girls, the better. I'm just explaining what happened in my situation.

Don't feel bad because you haven't had a girlfriend yet in high school. A lot of my "NT" friends have never had a girlfriend. Also, do not focus on you having AS or finding a girl with AS, I can guarantee that high school girls do not think to themselves "ew, he's Asperger's". They might think "he seems shy" but you can turn that into a positive.

An important note to the OP: MALES CANNOT BE VIRGINS, ITS IMPOSSIBLE. Don't listen to people who use this term, its wrong. The correct thing to say is MY FIRST TIME for a male. VIRGIN for a female.

OP, I'll save you the suspense...you're in for a lonely life. You might meet someone who sympathtizes/empathizes with you at a later age, but she won't be the type of woman you're likely looking for.

Concentrate on your grades, your hobbies, yourself, and care less about the Hollywood rendered myth that is called love.