I give up....

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Online dating clearly isn't for me. Damn near everybody I get matched with is either not my type, nowhere near me, not remotely attractive or too stuck up and entitled to give me the time of day. I'm deleting my profiles on OKCupid and POF and I'll just accept the fact that I'm going to die alone pining for my best friend....

I so didn't realize how that came out when I typed it....eh, I don't care. I shouldn't have to settle for somebody I don't find attractive. The "stuck up and entitled" bit is more about women refusing to even talk to somebody unless they look like Channing Tatum, own a house, drive a fancy car, make 6 figures a month and have tons of dating experience.

So you won't settle, but they should?

Not what I'm saying. If they don't find me attractive, fine. But it's more like they simply assume I'm not worth talking to for superficial reasons that shouldn't mean a damn thing. So I don't have a car or know how to drive: big deal, I can learn but can't afford a car with what I get for SSDI. I live with my parents, but they need me ( especially since my dad just had a stroke last week ). You'd think women would respect somebody who puts family first but NOOOOOOOOOOOO anybody in their 30's who lives with their parents is immediately labeled as a loser. At the very least the women I've messaged could be considerate enough to tell me they aren't interested. I'd rather they be blunt than end up feeling ignored and invisible...

I alluded to this in another thread, but realize that women and men have very different experiences when it comes to online dating. A reasonably attractive woman will receive upwards of 20+ messages/day. Most are obscene and will be ignored, but that still leaves a lot of messages to respond to... over time, these conversation threads accumulate to the point where it simply becomes unmanageable. I assume you are a heterosexual man. Understand that you are competing with other men for a woman's limited time and attention. She is not responding to/ignoring you in a vacuum, but in a competitive market environment. When she is overwhelmed with messages, it is much simpler for her to apply a filter to incoming messages rather than to invest too much time in understanding an individual's unique circumstances (at least, initially).

Tried coming up with a good response but I couldn't of worded it better.

Keep in mind too, with all the messages women get they have more access to be superficial. They're going to want to talk to the most appealing person. You're only messaging people based on what you read and their picture, the whole process of online dating is very superficial. So when they see you're in your 30s, don't drive and live at home, the odds are that they will judge you for it.

But dressing up like a barbie is one of that superimportant "should mean a things"?

I have never been bombared with messages as a woman I wonder if this is really true for most women.

As mentioned, he meaned only the "reasonable attractive" woman, so the 2% that look like an actress, not the 98% looking like normal womans look like.

You are an item on a buffet that the woman is viewing and deciding on. It's that simple. Most women have the pick of any number of guys on there. Those are the rules of engagement. Ever notice how most of the people who say how great online dating is are female? I've only ever had 1 guy tell me how great it is, but I've had at least a dozen women. For most women, it is a much better experience initially. Now I've also learned it's not all peaches and cream for women. They have to sort through countless "hey babe, wanna f**k?" messages.

Ohh I see.

Roughly 50% of the messages I receive are from scammers. 40% are of the "hey babe, wanna f**k?" variety. That means roughly 10% of the messages I receive are from "real" people. I respond to ALL of those, even if it's clear (~90% of the time) that they have not read my profile.

FWIW, the few times I have initiated a contact, there's about a 30% reply rate. And, no, I don't look like a Barbie doll, nor do I post half-naked photos of myself.

Who said anything about a Barbie? I don't need some supermodel, but attraction is important. If you don't find somebody attractive, how are you supposed to fall in love an actually be happy?

Online dating is not worth its time for us. You might think it's a good battlegroup for people on the spectrum but in reality you are always going to be outcompeted by those that know what to say and know how to take photos.

I'm far better looking IRL than any photo I have ever taken because I don't know how to smile for them.

So you want a woman, that is not anymore interested in what is "attracting to female" according to outdated genderroles = your salary, car and house, but she shall still be interested to be "attractive to males" according to outdated genderroles = her looks.

So you want a woman that is not interested in "superficial reasons that shouldn't mean a damn thing" = your car, house and salary... but that shall be interested in pleasing your "superficial reasons that shouldn't mean a damn thing" = her external appearance.

Yes, and I´d like as well a man that is modern and feminist when it comes to sharing the housework and childcare with me, but conservative when it comes to him earning the money and me staying at home. If you manage to find the homepage, where those kind of selfless idiots of both genders can be found, please share it with us.