Could an Aspie and a person with BPD date successfully?

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I'm just curious. I have a mild case of AS, and my ex, she most likely has Borderline Personality Disorder (she fits every symptom). We seemed to get along great for the first 6 months, until she was extremely stressed and decided it might be better to be friends (which after reading about BPD, she was probably trying to keep herself from hurting me). I love her a lot, so I just want her to be happy, but I don't know if she'll be able to be happy with someone who is "neurotypically normal."

She'll survive. For both your sakes, let it be.

So if she wants to get back together should I say no?

It depends. You have to ask yourself - how, really, did this relationship make you feel. Are you losing energy? Getting more unnerved as time goes on? If so, don't get back with her.

you shouldnt really diagnose your ex gf with BPD as she is so young, its very common for people aged 13-20 to show those traits, just because they are imature and hormonal. Psychiatrists do not like to diagnose people that age because lots of people are like that at that age and grow out of it.

There has been lots of threads about AS men dateing BPD women, perhaps put BPD in the search.

I think if she did turn out to have BPD then it would be very stressful relationship and better not to get involved in. However I think involvement with BPD people is a lesson you have to learn and you may need your fingers burned a few times before you are able to not be involved.

Lots of people with BPD do have successful relationships and DBT therapy(a combination of buddhist mindfulness and cbt) has been shown to be very helpful in treating BPD.

I hope it turns out well

it is dangerous to diagnose someone else, because you don't have a degree, nor do you have the full picture of her inner self or mentality.

BPD is complicated. it is definitely possible to have a normal relationship with BPD. i have comorbid conditions - BPD & ASD & major depressive disorder & generalized anxiety disorder, but i am pretty stable most of the time. really! i am able to function in a relationship, though i understand not everyone with BPD is able to.

a couple of important points - ASD is hard to diagnose in women, and women are often misdiagnosed as BPD as there is some overlap between the conditions. also, BPD is not a static condition, i.e. you can be cured/undiagnosed once you have improved.

I never actually diagnosed her though. Her mom was looking up info, stumbled acrossed it, noticed that she fit many symptoms, and so she's going to tell her mom is going to tell her counselor her ideas and if the counselor agrees they'll take her in for evaluation.

I was just curious as I thought I had seen some posts before about AS and BPD.

fair enough, but she still hasn't been diagnosed, so you are trying to make a decision based on speculation. maybe decide after she is diagnosed, or make a decision based on the relationship you've had with her instead of worrying about the labels.

Yes true. I ws mearly going based off our past experiences, and her past experiences with other guys, and her, her mom, her best friend, they all say that our relationship was the healthiest

Sure they could.

sounds great then!

Been there, done that, can't say I recommend it. I spent 6 years with a girlfriend that was diagnosed BPD about 4 years in, being an Aspie it never occurred to me that her behavior was out of line, I just thought it was me bringing it out in her. That's the heartbreaker about BPD, they can be wonderful people and you can make things work with a BPD partner for a time, but it will always be a struggle and it wears you down after a while.

I thought BPD stood for "Bi-Polar Disorder" ...

Well it could. And she has been officially diagnosed Bipolar. She does seem to fit the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder more though. But like hyperlexian said, I'm not a doctor, so I can't officially diagnose her. lol But it is something for her counselor/psychologist and her mother to discuss.

that's BD

I thought that was Blu-ray Disc?

But anyways, my Aspie ex has bipolar (well, we think anyway, me and her had a conversation about it and agreed it made a lot of sense), and the relationship didn't go well at all. We broke up more times than Racheal and Ross from Friends... I think it was three times in just under three months. But me and her are still good friends today.

Of course, there's a difference between the disorders and people in general are different, so it could work for you two, I dunno.