Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Do you view a viable romantic match as a "total package

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

HopefulRomantic
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 399
Location: Atlanta, GA

30 Aug 2010, 10:22 pm

No doubt everyone is entitled to determine their own laundry list of preferences and attributes they seek in a viable romantic match.

For my purposes, I choose to place as much emphasis (if not more) on personality and cerebral attributes than on physical attractiveness. Although I contend mutual physical attraction is essential for a successful romantic relationship in most cases, I firmly believe the required meeting of the minds and hearts is the delineating factor (even a dealbreaker) for the sustained longevity of a solid relationship.

Perhaps, Marilyn Monroe said it best about physical beauty: "Gravity catches up with all of us." Not a one of us can avoid aging.

In my personal experience, a person who you love, respect and admire can become stunningly gorgeous to you by sheer virtue of how you feel about them (and vice versa).

In an attempt to be crystal clear, by "total package" I mean perceiving someone as a combination of all their attributes - mental, spiritual and physical.

Any takers?



one-A-N
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2010
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 883
Location: Sydney

30 Aug 2010, 10:40 pm

If you like the person, you will probably like (or quickly learn to like) their body ... because their body means THEM.

Here is an analogy. Your home may not be that different to other houses ... but it is YOUR home, and when you see it, you see "home", the place where all your childhood memories are and all your loved ones live (or lived). And when you see your partner, you see YOUR partner - the one that you are attached to. A person's body isn't just an abstract image of male or female beauty, it is the visual sign of everything that particular person means to you. So when you see them, you see everything they mean to you.

Hope that makes sense.



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

30 Aug 2010, 11:12 pm

one-A-N wrote:
If you like the person, you will probably like (or quickly learn to like) their body ... because their body means THEM.

Here is an analogy. Your home may not be that different to other houses ... but it is YOUR home, and when you see it, you see "home", the place where all your childhood memories are and all your loved ones live (or lived). And when you see your partner, you see YOUR partner - the one that you are attached to. A person's body isn't just an abstract image of male or female beauty, it is the visual sign of everything that particular person means to you. So when you see them, you see everything they mean to you.

Hope that makes sense.


I was going to comment on this thread, but you've basically said everything I wanted to say, just more eloquently...



CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

31 Aug 2010, 7:05 am

Yes. How I see people's physiques is partly dependent on my opinion of them as a person. This goes for both sexes and even happens with my friends. I once saw a guy at school be nasty to another boy, and the first chap instantly became less physically attractive.



Erisad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,058
Location: United States

31 Aug 2010, 7:39 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
I once saw a guy at school be nasty to another boy, and the first chap instantly became less physically attractive.


Exactly. If a guy is pushing another guy down to make himself look better, he's no longer attractive.


To be honest, I usually don't notice the other person's physique in a romantic/sexual way until I know them better and if their personality is compatible with mine. If it is, the physical qualities are icing on the cake. :)



MDD123
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

31 Aug 2010, 8:56 pm

I agree with the concept, I look for Healthy, Happy, and Attractive and the attractive part is more a product of the first two.



Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

01 Sep 2010, 2:46 am

HopefulRomantic wrote:
No doubt everyone is entitled to determine their own laundry list of preferences and attributes they seek in a viable romantic match.

For my purposes, I choose to place as much emphasis (if not more) on personality and cerebral attributes than on physical attractiveness. Although I contend mutual physical attraction is essential for a successful romantic relationship in most cases, I firmly believe the required meeting of the minds and hearts is the delineating factor (even a dealbreaker) for the sustained longevity of a solid relationship.

Perhaps, Marilyn Monroe said it best about physical beauty: "Gravity catches up with all of us." Not a one of us can avoid aging.

In my personal experience, a person who you love, respect and admire can become stunningly gorgeous to you by sheer virtue of how you feel about them (and vice versa).

In an attempt to be crystal clear, by "total package" I mean perceiving someone as a combination of all their attributes - mental, spiritual and physical.

Any takers?


My only "criteria" for a partner is that me and her share a mutual love, because for that to happen, all other important things are implied. I'm not talking about stupid things like her having to be stupidly beautiful, not as shallow as that. I care more about personality. And as you said, a person you love can become gorgeous to you anyway.

So, I think I agree with you, basically.