i need help

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Joined: 20 Aug 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: my mind

21 Aug 2010, 8:17 pm

i feel like i live in my own little world. its gotten to the point that i have to record all my tv shows because i have to let my daydreams run their course. i feel like i don't fit in with any of my peers and i have never had a boyfriend or gone on a date or even been asked out before. and to top it all off the only advice i get is go to a bar and ask, but people dont get that i cant even call people on the phone or ask for directions because i get too nervous. and when it comes to guys all i can do is stare and wish. part of me wants to just go to a hooker or something. i cant even make friends because people always tell me that all i really talk about is the simpsons or something weirder i really dont know what to do i feel like its ruining my life hell the only time im happy is when i smoke to calm my nerves and even that starting not to help.

foreveryoung
Deinonychus

Joined: 27 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 398

21 Aug 2010, 8:48 pm

Send "TimTex" on this board a message. He's obsessed with sex and the simpsons.

JustANerd
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 20 Aug 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

21 Aug 2010, 10:31 pm

Disclaimer: I don't have Asperger's, and I'm somewhat socially awkward anyway. This is just the best advice I have to give.

When you talk to people, ask them questions and then let them babble about themselves. Laugh at their jokes and agree with and elaborate on what they say. The 'decipher this social interaction' thread has a good example in it, when she's talking about how she responds to the guy. He says where he works, and she comments that his commute must be a pain. It's not a super insightful statement, but it makes the person talking feel like you're listening and you care. That's all a lot of people really want. Once you've made an impression on someone as a friendly person, you can start having less purposefully structured conversations - though giving others their turn to talk is important. (It's something that is VERY hard for a chatterbox like me.)

If you want to be proactive about the finding-a-boyfriend thing and you're very socially anxious, it might help to look online. I met my current boyfriend online, and I realized how intelligent and insightful he was during our IM conversations - where he was a lot more relaxed and himself than he is in person.

Dilbert
Veteran
Veteran