To polite and respectfull, also what do they really think?

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I think that I am too polite and respectful. Not that others are not, just the way I have seen some others interact I am not willing to duplicate it. For instance the brother I do have, that visits sometimes, I cannot stand the way he talks.

If I am essentially disabled and going to be that way forever including low income and not able to drive, what do they think? I'd think that most of the ladies would want nothing to do with me just because of that. Typically the guy picks up the girl and goes out.

I am trying to determine what is on the minds of most females and to realize my chances. My goal is not sex but to find a lady for the remainder of life, especially after my parents pass and some troubles with sustaining independent living are perceived. I want to entirely free myself of the possibility of any sort of independent living assistance due to my self-esteem ego. I will need help getting to the grocery store and doctors, but if there was someone else, like a lady, then I’d help pay for the car and she would just drive.

I do not know anything about this flirting, making up verbal lines of flirtation, perhaps compliments.

I thought about trying to find someone else of disabilities on SSI and somewhat similar in circumstances. I am not sure what to do, bars and dancing clubs are just not promising to me, I typically don’t like the clientele.

So I thought about going places constructively, but where to. There is online dating, but I can't quite explain myself in a way that is truthful without making myself appear defective. It seems odd to tell a lady, I don't drive you will have to pick me up. Or explain why I am disabled and cannot sustain employment.

I do not have much emotion invested into attempts, it would be like winning the lotto, and I don't expect to win.

I recall a long time ago I said to myself, I will never have a girlfriend and that was a good thing. Now it is realized more part of survival eventually and some kind of known companionship beyond just my narrow minded interests.

My life will not be intruded upon by social workers when I get older, rather hopefully someone I eventually can form an emotional connection to. Everyone else is just boring.

Nathan