Neuro-chemical lockout?

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Its funny, we'll talk about things a lot in here related to social skills but, typically we never get on the physiological topics - ie. sensory issues, aside from perhaps touch and what not.

The best way I can explain it - I have plenty of days, especially like right now as the weather's changing, where I'll feel like there's not only a muzzle over my brain (typically that's always there to variable extents) but also like someone is taking my brain and mental energy and just squeezing it into submission. It ends up amounting to a lot of fatigue, something I can typically half-chase off with stimulants but often enough this is something that's very difficult to break out of.

Socially this is what it amounts to - if I'm out in public I do feel like I have a huge wall of sound, sensory input, etc. crashing into me and as a result of that I end up being a very sheer get-from-point-a-to-point-b type of person. Overall my social skills aren't (don't seem to be) the challenge so much as how much damage I have to mitigate from the way my chemistry seems to almost force me toward almost passively anti-social behavior due to what my physiology typically does for me. Also, when its bad enough, I will be stuck in the position of looking shy, stuttering, etc. - it doesn't reflect my personality at all but, like someone really hungover who's tripping over their own feet - its more a physiological give-out than anything.

I do consider myself very lucky on one end. I know of autistics who'll get screaming migraines from flourescent lights or are on the ground screaming or covering their ears if they hear certain sounds. I'm very lucky not to be dealing with that and, if I'm at a place like say a concert or club/rave where the music is extra-loud, lots of bass washing over, and all that sound separating the social interactions and making it so that people who aren't talking directly into the next person's ear are pretty close to being on their own island - its as good as being alone and a lot of that stress is taken off of me. Because of this I can at least go to clubs with my friends, have a few drinks, and usually have fun if the music is loud enough.

However while this never gets discussed this way, I'm wondering - particularly for the guys and the issues of gender roll maintenance when you have these sorts of physical/neurological challenges or things that have you looking cold or defacto unconfident, have you found a successful way around these kinds of issues? Ways of getting your behavior and conscious energy around and out in front of it without lots of liquor? I have nothing against the liquor solution occasionally just that it can easily be a $40 to $50 a night solution, lots of empty calories, and of course its not appropriate in all situations.

Looks like I picked a bad subject header for this, fixed.

So, I know this is not the response you're soliciting, but are you sure the symptoms you're describing are completely due to AS? I just thought I'd ask, since you seem to notice they get significantly more noticeable when the seasons change....so could there me some other physical reaction that's triggering these symptoms?

I don't mean to be a simpleton about it, but could allergies, changes in barometric pressure, seasonal affective disorder, etc. be responsible? Have you had an evaluation by an MD who also takes a holistic approach to healing? I don't know....just thought I'd throw that out there.

When I was in my early 20's I tried talking to doctors, neurologists, etc. and - I pretty much got treated like a freak so I just left the situation alone. It seemed like any of them who found out that I had AS laughed at my nativity for bringing it up, as if I was weird to do so, told me that it was a symptom of AS, and reiterated "Again, as a person with AS - why have you come here? What is it that you want us to do for you?". I think I took that about as many times as I could without having a confrontation.

I suppose it sounds like sound kind of seasonal depression. If it is during the dark seasons you get more like that then the fact that there is less sun light may lead to an imbalance in certain brain chemicals controlling your mood. Then one small effect of something like that could lead to knock on effects.

With the feeling like my consciousness is being squeezed into submission - possibly. The rest of it however is year round practically 365. I won't say that I don't do a great job of hiding it much of the time but, that also just means that I'm left biting the bullet on a lot of the general effects it has. Anymore if I do go out in public I probably don't seem particularly uptight anymore but, I still have this gating and jamming my ability to be myself thus its still a significant impairment.

Taking the devil's advocate stance that I might just be freakishly self-aware there is the truth that I have difficulty being read, have somewhat muted potency in my expressions, thus I have to work extra hard to even say what the next person would and still be understood the same way, just like I have difficulty getting or keeping people's attention. It could be extra-added strain from that, though truthfully its hard to call whether that's just a portion or in fact all of it.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 12 Sep 2010, 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

@Techstep, I sure would like to see you give another doctor a shot. There's got to be MDs that also focus on naturopathy in your area (you're in a major metropolitan area, as I recall). Or what about the Cleveland Clinic? That's gotta be an option for you geographically....talk to people who are the best in their field, and insist on getting some kind of comprehensive explanation. Keep a daily diary: your symptoms, what you're eating, how much sleep you're getting, your mood, your level of energy, weather conditions, etc. Accurate data will really help the right doctor see the big picture, ya know?

Cleveland Clinic is exactly where this happened at its worst. I have had conversations like this with other professionals as well, no one has an answer and no one can think of any legitimate health issue that would cause this the way I explain it. I could, next time someone tries to grill me on the autism-card say "With all do respect, I've talked to many other aspie/autistics on forums and no one can relate to what I'm saying" but, from everything I've gauged, they'd be going back to a position of making nefarious assumptions about my personality and/or judgment. Its happened often enough that the thought of shelling out several hundred dollars of insurance money to go to a doctors office just so they can take jabs at me is a nauseating prospect.

With all this I'm really starting to wonder if I am in one of those medical-marvels situations, then again whether I'd ever be taken seriously enough to have a case study done on me has nothing to do with my sincerity and everything to do with how important I would be at a particular juncture in autism research - ie. if I was some sort of missing peace to the puzzle. However, IMO, those are lottery odds. The thought of being that 'special' in the scheme of things is also a prospect I find horrifically depressing, I'd hate to think that I'm really that alone in this.

if im reading this right, you want to know if weather affects people?

Yes.
I have a physical condition which worsens considerably on overcast days (not so much on rainstorms, but on those days where the sky sits grey and oppressive) and (probably because I spend so much energy dealing with the physical issue) my olfactory sensitivity is REAL bad on such days.

My mother has a similar response to the weather in her kidney (yes one kidney, not two).
And of course there are the old men with arthritis who can feel storms coming.

Maybe i got the question wrong?

Well...yes, no, and not quite.

My bigger problem is always here - ie. I walk out the door and feel like I'm muted by everything that comes flooding in. True, being at a party where everyone knows my name and I'm able to glad-hand from corner to corner feels a lot better but I don't know if that's really an admission that this is a result of overprocessing and whether its a combination of alcohol and friendly circumstances happening, or whether its simply an issue of alcohol helping and everything else resolving itself.

It seems like most people in general - NT's as well - have difficulty when walking into a really big crowded situation where they know very few people but, I don't know if they - or even aspies for that matter in general - experience it quite to the extent that I do?

You might be making an effective argument that I'm talking about two completely separate issues, I more or less brought them up together as I was wondering if they were both symptoms of something broader - typically what I feel daily is just a milder dose of the same.

If it is to do with the dark seasons supplementing melatonin might be able to help.

It is quite common for people with autism to have low levels of melatonin. There is a couple bits on the wiki page that mention autism and season affective disorder. Take a read through and let me know what you think

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin

Hmm... I've had life-long insomnia, as in I've never known what its like to fall asleep at will. It could be part of it although I'm pretty sure that when I have taken melatonin it didn't have much effect, I'm not sure that my body does what its supposed to with direct oral ingestion.

I might have to give it another shot one of these days though to see if anything has changed.

Yeah. You might as well give it a go.

Try taking an Omega 3 supplement as well and maybe go out for a few jogs. I've started doing that recently and it helps relax me.

BTW, I did just go to GNC today and get a bottle of melatonin. Normally I'd go somewhere else, they're a little overpriced, but I was at the mall and wanted to make my shopping as short as I could.

Today's been another one of those though. I've been in a thick haze all day and shopping was excruciating enough that I was breaking out in a head-to-toe sweat and, like before, I got something like eight hours of sleep. Its not to say that I see my life going down the drain completely from this but, yes, it hampers forward progress on a lot of different fronts. Hopefully something will sort out one of these days soon.

i think i might understand part of what you are saying.

on the part about the huge wall of sound, sometimes i feel that the world is literally rushing and moving and speaking and flowing and changing all around me, and my instinct is to be quiet and still and unmoving and isolated and tamped-down. this will sound silly, but i sometimes feel like an Ent that has to be aroused out of a stupor. i am aware of my surroundings, but i have a distance from the goings-on. sort of like i am a part of the world but distinct from it.

i feel it very strongly at those times that i am in an intensely social or loud environment. people worry i am not having fun but i can't be outgoing and fully 'me' when i am trapped inside myself by the noise and the people on the outside.

not sure if that makes ssense, or if that is what you mean at all.

p.s. a change in barometric pressure can lead to increased feeling of stuffiness and pressure in the face and head. my ears even feel plugged when the weather is changing.

You can get free melatonin in feverfew. Our garden is fairly chock with it right now. I don't know if it grows where you are. There's a way of getting melatonin that you don't even have to leave your bathroom for, but I'm not sure how people here would take it.