How to date a friend of mine whom I want to be my GF

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I met a girl about a year ago in one class I had with her in university, and we've been friends ever since. But I sort of developed a crush on her after a couple of months, but never made a move because I though, and still think, she was in a relationship. Now before I ask, I need to at first find out if she is already in a relationship, because then there's no point in asking her out. But how do you ask something like that, short of actually asking it, without her thinking I want a relationship. Because if she does have a boyfriend and thinks I want a relationship that could put a damper on our friendship, which I don't want.

I am going to ask a question now: are the following I am about to describe signs she is interested in a romantic relationship or her just being friendly?

When we were in the same class she would always sit with me, and when I use to write for the school newspaper she would come up and say she had read my article and thought it was nice, or whatever. Yesterday (this is the first week of classes) she came up to me and said hi, she was really excited to see me. I told her about a world trip I had taken and she said she had been thinking about me over the summer wondering how my trip went. Oh one more thing.... about 7 months ago there was a presentation by a lawyer defending an al-Qaeda terrorist suspect from Guantanomo bay that was invited to speak at our university. This girl asked me if I wanted to go to it and I said sure, so me and her went to it together, but with no one else. So that's it. Maybe she was sending out signs and I never picked up on it, being a f*****g ret*d Aspie, or maybe she was just being friendly. Your thoughts.

Ask her out.
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What, you want more? :p There is no more. Just ask her out.

yes. seconded.

I agree. Go for it, and fast!

Ask her out.


Make sure she understands you are asking her for a date otherwise things might get awkward.


If she has a bf already she will probably tell you and usually girls dont stop hanging out with you if you ask them out once and they are taken.They find it creepy/weird if you keep hitting on them after they told you they dont wanna go out with you/are already taken so dont overdo things if she says no, at least dont so it for a couple of months.

Yeah, I found out about that in the most awkward manner. Let's say I try to stay away from the girl because honestly I think she's sort of screwed up.

I also learnt this the hard way thats why Im advising him to avoid doing it.
Asking every couple of months can be ok(depending on the girl) and its good to ask more than once(some women say no the first time you ask them to see if you are really interested in them, at least thats what they say ).

If you don't even know if she's in a relationship then you don't know her very well and it's too soon to ask her out. You are far more likely to ruin the relationship at this point than you are to get a date.

yep, i learned about it the hard way too. asked a guy out once, and he turned me down... we literally worked 10 feet away from each other every day. i had no hard feelings, but it was soooooo awkward! i didn't ask again, but it was hard to resist because the attraction didn't disappear.

how am i suppose to get ot know her better if i dont know how to?

Oh gosh, that would be a little awkward. I think it is best to keep away from interoffice dating. Even if he had gone out with you, it might not have worked out and that would be even more uncomfortable than just getting turned down. I have done it twice, and it sucks- I don't know why I didn't learn the first time LOL.

Mojave- I agree to ask her out and see what she says. If she says no and it is awkward after, just let her know that you can still be friends with no hard feelings.

I think you should ask her out as well... but as others said, be sure that she knows its a date and not just hanging out... like use the word "date" or something...

Because I've gone to movies, restaurants, fancy ones, had guys make me dinner, etc, and still not sure if any of those were dates or not. (Like this weekend, went to zoo with friend, met his parents and grandparents then zoo then dinner... all in all about 12 hours straight hanging out with him... I'm 95% sure its *NOT* a date, but... still not completley sure (and don't know if that means he likes me or not xD))

So make things easy on yourself, and be sure to define it somehow... "Would you like to go on a date?" or something.............. not really sure how guys ask ppl out, because I guess I automatically consider it friendship unless the word date is used (or maybe if it was like "would you like to go to prom" kinda thing... but generic stuff? not a clue xD)

And don't feel bad if you don't know... I mean more you hang out, more likely you'll find out, but if you've talked a lot and she never mentioned her bf, then there is probably a good chance she doesn't have one. It generally comes up in conversation here or there, especially if they think you might be interested to hint at it so you don't ask--- but since she never said anything of the sort, just take it at face value and ask her out. If it turns out she has a boyfriend, she should just apologize and explain, and hopefully everything stays as is.

absolutely. i 100% agree... logically.

but in reality i have gotten into lots of hijinx. i never regret it though...the experiences have been worth it, even with the whole awkwardness thing!

So Ill see her next probably on Monday should I ask her when I walk out of the class with her?

You can ask her anytime you feel comfortable doing so. The key thing when asking a girl out is confidence and youll be far more confident when you are comfortable.

I think one thing that's very important is to be positive. Even if she turns you down, you took a big step. Try not to get overly excited if she says yes (a smile and "great! see you then" works), or overly upset ("that's fine. I'll talk to you later" is best) if she says no. Good luck