a moment of peace and revelation

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Today I a friend to go out to first Friday, which is when all the galleries open up and it's a big streetfair type thing with lots of people. Our goal was to meet girls and socialize, but he couldn't shut up about the heat and barely a half hour later, he bailed on me.

And you know what? I didn't care. I decided to enjoy myself and enjoy some art. And I didn't need to talk to women or any or have a wingman. I just walked by myself for 2.5 hours and felt very at peace, for the first tme in a long time.

I realized I probably won't ever find anyone who'll tolerate me, lt alone love me. And that's okay. I feel fine with myself. I don't need someone else. I mean if someone comes along, that's great. But I'm fine with being alone. And maybe even if I never matter to any single woman, maybe that just means my purpose is to do something with my life and give something special to the world. I won't matter, but my work, my contributions to society and people will matter.

I think I will delete all my dating accounts, and take myself off the market for good.

I'm going to work hard, and do the best work of my life.

sometimes it's good to take a break and to focus on ourselves and what our passions are
good for you

I am an introverted hermit, myself. I prefer to go through life alone. I am not anti social, just non social. I do talk to the neighbors, to family, and to people when I occasionally run errands, but I don't have friends, or a love life. That's all fine with me. I found out a long time ago that I prefer my own company. Sure it would be nice to be normal, and fit in, and have friends, but it is not absolutely necessary. I've tried being social and it just doesn't work for me. Being alone feels better, so I go through life solo, including living alone.

I spent most of my life living with various relatives. It was horrible! We all drove one another crazy. A few years ago I was finally able to live alone. I don't ever want to live with others again! I get along better with my relatives now that I don't live with any of them.

I am mostly a home body, but occasionally go out. I eat alone at restaurants, have gone alone to movies since I was about 12, and I am in my early 50s now. Because of other health problems I no longer care to go out to the movies, but would rather wait for them to come to TV or borrow the movie from the library. I have gone on trips alone, and gone to parks by myself. I am just a very solitary sort of person, but will talk to others, including strangers, so I am obviously not anti social. My introversion and solitary nature just make me non social. There is nothing wrong with that, although a lot of NTs would not agree with that, including my extrovert father. Many NTs, including him look upon solitary, introverted types of people as being either very unhappy and in need of being forced out of their solitude into a social pattern, or else we must be mentally ill, and in need of treatment. NTs, and especially extroverts, tend to be uncomfortable, and are not all that happy when alone, and they believe that the same holds true for everybody else. I have told my father thousands of times over my 5 decades of life that I like being alone, but he still doesn't believe it, and still keeps trying to force me to be more social.

If it ain't broke you shouldn't be trying to fix it. My being solitary is not a broken condition. I just wish I could get him to understand that.

Anyway, if you are fine with going solo, go ahead and enjoy doing your own thing, without others holding you back.