Bf keeps on insulting me

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My boyfriend is intelligent, but he keeps on asking questions if I'm a ret*d or mocking him with fake stupidity because he can't believe this, often says things that imply I'm dumb, says my reasoning is rotten. He seems to be totally ignorant about it. He just said something that it's MY interpretation and that I should listen to his explanation.

He sometimes HAS some kind of ''explanation'' but generally it sucks and sounds like a lame excuse.

I said to him an insult is an insult, even though you SAY it isn't and that it's all in the receiver's head. He then replied (msn) with ''thanks for this little insight in your rotten mind''.

Omg this makes me angry. I'm doing my f-ing best for him so that he may feel better, I respect him way too much to even come up with such remarks but he just makes them happily. I just asked him wtf's going on that he talks to me like that and his reply is that he's rotten too and that I take myself too serious. But when I'm with him I can be sure to receive some references to my intellectual incompetency.

I just wanted to vent, not sure if this is the right place. It frustrates me that no matter what I do I still get to hear these constant remarks and references under the surface.

You're still with him. That means whatever he's doing is working.
Any other questions, people who don't want to accept the truth about preferences?

Unfortunately not.

Unfortunately people can be like that. He might not realize what he says at times hurts you and there's no real way to convince some people unless you get validation from a lot of other people and he feels a sense of "shame" though it's not really one of conscious thought, just peer pressure. Unfortunately that's how many people are.

I guess this thread is just a vent. The Haven is a good board for that. Here is sort of okay.
You're still with him so I guess it's a minor thing that has built up, and you like him and just wish he would be more considerate

I can relate. I often make my mom feel intellectually inferior (and others) and I don't even mean it. It's just part of my personality. Maybe he's similar. Maybe he doesn't mean it and it's just part of his frustration. I think my IQ is in the range (120,140) so I'm not even that intelligent but when I'm dealing with people in the (80-100) range I can't handle it.

I think I remember your post from before--didn't you say your boyfriend also got really angry sometimes and kicked the bed frame until it broke? And he also insults you? If you're not the same person--sorry for the mix up.

I don't think it's accidental for him to say something like "thanks for the insight from your rotten mind." That goes a little past accidentally insulting someone. It's sarcastic, and it's a clear insult. Calling someone's mind rotten just because they don't like to be insulted (especially a domestic partner) is pretty nasty.

He doesn't sound like a bouquet of flowers, himself, but do you say things like that to him? Do you infer he's retarded--or insult him when he has a grievance?

Aside, do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him, because you're afraid that he will criticize you or get too angry? Do you feel like you can express your feelings to him--and that your feelings are considered in the relationship? Or does the relationship seem to revolve around his feelings, his wants, his annoyances, his needs?

Insult him back. My favorite insult is "Hey you, ass, go get a bucket and wash my balls"

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

verbal abuse can be a sign that a person will end up hitting you. i would give him an ultimatum and follow through. no more pokes at your intelligence or the relationship is over.

I wonder why you respect him so much when he clearly doesn't respect you. It doesn't seem like he deserves it. He's belittling you, he's trying to make you feel stupid. He's putting you down to make himself feel smart.

This is exactly what I put up with for almost three years with my ex. He was verbally abusive quite often; he never respected my opinions and questioned everything I did. He questioned things that I was positive about. My theory is that he had been jealous of my intelligence (he gave me plenty of reasons to believe this), so he would knock me down in areas where I was weaker than him, financially, especially. He never physically tried to hurt me or anything, but he had the potential to get worse. Selfish and disrespectful are an awful combination. Anyway, don't stay with someone who treats you like this. If you tell him you don't like it, chances are he will say something else offensive to you and insult you. < Personal experience. He never apologized, either. He didn't feel the need to. I don't think it's worth sacrificing your love and self for someone that isn't going to treat you well. Love you and move on.