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Allan
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27 Sep 2010, 6:33 pm

there's this girl who I've got a thing for and I can't say anything when I'm around her. I can't actually say anything when around attractive girls in general. I worked up enough to talk to her but all I did was introduce myself and it wasn't necessarily audible at that. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Allan from the Fourth Bountiful Human Empire



Tahitiii
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27 Sep 2010, 6:53 pm

Something indirect and impersonal. I don't know the situation, so you'll have to be creative. If you share a class or work, there's gotta be something. A simple question, like where's the stock room, or which homework chapter were you supposed to read. If you're calling for take-out at lunch, you can offer to pick something up for her. If all else fails, you could make some mild, humorous, disparaging comment about the boss -- assuming you share some annoyance. But that could backfire if she likes the boss.



Synecdoche
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27 Sep 2010, 7:18 pm

Well, Alan, in the presence of any attractive woman, any man (AS or NT) will flutter nervously. First, you probably shouldn't introduce yourself as originating from the Fourth Bountiful Human Empire irregardless of your Dr. Who-like charms ;).

Seriously though, the best way is to let her know you're there. But instead of being direct, try to be more subtle. Keep your cool. Don't stare at her awkwardly (only when she's trying to communicate with you. Even then, don't stare at her too much). If you're going to ask her questions; ask her after you've said hello. But, asking too many questions will make you seem creepy because it'll sound more like an interrogation rather than a genuine conversation.

But for me, I find compliments work best. Women love compliments. Compliment their shoes and they'll go on and on about their shoes. Likewise, what is it that you like about her?

Obviously, she's attractive. But beyond that, what do you enjoy about her behavior or demeanor? Do you find her comments on a particular subject interesting? If so, compliment her on that. It'll open up a window for conversation.



rchamberlin
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27 Sep 2010, 8:29 pm

At my age, I've used pretty much all the introduction lines that don't work.

I'm still looking for one that works.

Maybe it's just being yourself, and not worrying about it too much.

Please keep me posted - I'd really like to encourage you to keep trying them out.

I am married to my third wife, but I can't remember what I said. We've been married for 26 years now,
So something must be working.

Staying married is mostly two things - trying to keep from saying too much, (on my part) and
she overlooks a lot of the things I say.

For example, she thinks I'm arguing when I'm explaining what I mean, and often says to me "Quit while you're ahead."
If I were to blurt out - "Why didn't you tell me I was ahead?" that would be one of the times I said too much.

But, you'll get the idea.

Mostly it should not be the gut wrenching thing it is -- try to relax.
In 55 more years it won't matter.

Robert :) :) :) :wink:



nostromo
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27 Sep 2010, 9:57 pm

The post by Synecdoche is a really good one. Flattery is brilliant..you may think it sounds corny but it really works. :)

What are your everyday conversational skills like? Could you meet someone you don't know and find out things about them?
Edit: BTW this exact same thing used to happen to me when I was younger, one one occasion I couldn't speak at all



Chronos
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27 Sep 2010, 11:01 pm

Allan wrote:
there's this girl who I've got a thing for and I can't say anything when I'm around her. I can't actually say anything when around attractive girls in general. I worked up enough to talk to her but all I did was introduce myself and it wasn't necessarily audible at that. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Allan from the Fourth Bountiful Human Empire


Well I can't open your mouth and make you talk, so I'm not entirely sure how to help you other than by telling you to open your mouth and talk to her.

Maybe if you give us a little more information we can tailor our responses accordingly. Do you go to school with this girl? Do you work with her?



Allan
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28 Sep 2010, 10:04 am

Yeah I go to school with her, it's a very small school as well. About 90-100 people give or take a few.