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Northeastern292
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28 Sep 2010, 4:00 pm

...is something I love!

Anyways, the beginning of the fall semester went better than I envisioned. I've been hanging out with this girl, and well, we hung out in her room, and we took a cat nap together. Point being is that it was pretty cute, she was stroking my arm, and I was stroking her hair. (NOTE: This is all PG-rated, so nobody freak out!)

Anyways, I'm not sure if she likes me as "just friends" or she likes me as a friend but isn't sure of anything further. All I know is that our friendship has been growing fast, and in no way am I pursuing a relationship right this second. I'm giving this plenty of time and thought.



bewarethebob
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28 Sep 2010, 4:13 pm

Northeastern292 wrote:
...is something I love!

Anyways, the beginning of the fall semester went better than I envisioned. I've been hanging out with this girl, and well, we hung out in her room, and we took a cat nap together. Point being is that it was pretty cute, she was stroking my arm, and I was stroking her hair. (NOTE: This is all PG-rated, so nobody freak out!)

Anyways, I'm not sure if she likes me as "just friends" or she likes me as a friend but isn't sure of anything further. All I know is that our friendship has been growing fast, and in no way am I pursuing a relationship right this second. I'm giving this plenty of time and thought.


careful with that, it can go both ways as of now.
see i used to cuddle up with a good friend of mine who was kinda giving off those vibes, and she actually didnt mean for it to....even though we always kind of cuddled together.

that being said, in other scenarios it worked well....
good of you to give it thought, but strike soon or the moment may pass.



emlion
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28 Sep 2010, 4:23 pm

I cuddle up with my best friend often, and i have zero sexual feelings towards him.



techstepgenr8tion
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28 Sep 2010, 4:33 pm

I don't know what it is in Ohio, for some reason its just not like that out here. Most of the girls my friends and I run into seem to date like stereotypical guys, its as if they've decided that the guys here are too different and that if they don't see it moving toward sex rather quickly that they're wasting their time. Stay in and cuddle and there's a good chance that's the last time you'd see them, you might invite them out a couple times, get flaked on, and get the hint that you didn't take things where they wanted you to. Its really a wasteland out here :(.



ToadOfSteel
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28 Sep 2010, 6:10 pm

emlion wrote:
I cuddle up with my best friend often, and i have zero sexual feelings towards him.


That just doesn't make any sense to me at all. But then again, I'm the guy with the overly weird mindset where cuddling has replaced sex as the highest form of intimacy. I can't even imagine trying to cuddle with someone who was only a friend...



xxZeromancerlovexx
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28 Sep 2010, 6:13 pm

I only cuddle my stuffed dolphin :D

All my friends are male, so it would look skanky if I hung allover them and cuddled them.

Plus....I love my dolphin, Echo, more than ANY one of my friends.



Yasmine
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28 Sep 2010, 7:06 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I only cuddle my stuffed dolphin :D

All my friends are male, so it would look skanky if I hung allover them and cuddled them.

Plus....I love my dolphin, Echo, more than ANY one of my friends.


What a brilliant name for a dolphin!



Northeastern292
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28 Sep 2010, 7:09 pm

bewarethebob wrote:
Northeastern292 wrote:
...is something I love!

Anyways, the beginning of the fall semester went better than I envisioned. I've been hanging out with this girl, and well, we hung out in her room, and we took a cat nap together. Point being is that it was pretty cute, she was stroking my arm, and I was stroking her hair. (NOTE: This is all PG-rated, so nobody freak out!)

Anyways, I'm not sure if she likes me as "just friends" or she likes me as a friend but isn't sure of anything further. All I know is that our friendship has been growing fast, and in no way am I pursuing a relationship right this second. I'm giving this plenty of time and thought.


careful with that, it can go both ways as of now.
see i used to cuddle up with a good friend of mine who was kinda giving off those vibes, and she actually didnt mean for it to....even though we always kind of cuddled together.

that being said, in other scenarios it worked well....
good of you to give it thought, but strike soon or the moment may pass.


True, who knows. Cuddling isn't the best way of telling if someone is interested in you, but a couple of friends are saying it might.



Pistonhead
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28 Sep 2010, 7:13 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
emlion wrote:
I cuddle up with my best friend often, and i have zero sexual feelings towards him.


That just doesn't make any sense to me at all. But then again, I'm the guy with the overly weird mindset where cuddling has replaced sex as the highest form of intimacy. I can't even imagine trying to cuddle with someone who was only a friend...


It's a hard separation for me too but I've gotten past it. I'm not ready to waste any more money on love so bring on the casual cuddling and sex.


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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28 Sep 2010, 7:14 pm

Yasmine wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I only cuddle my stuffed dolphin :D

All my friends are male, so it would look skanky if I hung allover them and cuddled them.

Plus....I love my dolphin, Echo, more than ANY one of my friends.


What a brilliant name for a dolphin!


Thank you! I got it from the SEGA game "Ecco the Dolphin" :D



sluice
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28 Sep 2010, 7:51 pm

Cuddling and groping sort of go hand and hand. I can't imagine just doing that as friends. Do you pick the bugs out of her hair too?



emlion
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29 Sep 2010, 5:37 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
emlion wrote:
I cuddle up with my best friend often, and i have zero sexual feelings towards him.


That just doesn't make any sense to me at all. But then again, I'm the guy with the overly weird mindset where cuddling has replaced sex as the highest form of intimacy. I can't even imagine trying to cuddle with someone who was only a friend...


If i'm sad I just like someone to hold me.
Doesn't mean I want to have sex with him. I just want a bit of comfort.
Although, true, many people find it difficult to believe.



nekowafer
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29 Sep 2010, 7:56 am

There are plenty of people that can cuddle and consider it nothing more than that. It's an intimate thing for many of us, especially those that may not like to be touched all the time, like me. But to others it's perfectly normal. My female friends (I'm a girl, and at the time was not interested in them, and they're straight) liked to cuddle with me in high school. There were no questions of what it meant, since I knew they were straight. But I can see how guys can be confused by this.

On the other hand, sometimes I do just like to cuddle. It's a nice feeling when someone just wants to be close to you, and it doesn't have to lead to sex. Intimacy doesn't always mean "I want to get in your pants." Because of how everyone expects me to be (kind of weird, no tact, but funny), I will announce my intentions at the start. If I just want to cuddle, I'll say something like, "I'm only here to cuddle, mister. No boobies for you." It gets a laugh, breaks the ice, and means that there are no questions of my intentions.

Northeastern292, when you're ready, try something a little more intimate. Put your face close to hers, maybe rest your cheek on her head. A quick kiss on the forehead or cheek can immediately announce how you feel. But you may want to ask her, first. It may sound a little weird, but it shows a lot of respect to ask a girl if you can kiss her first, even if it's just on the forehead. Just don't take this any faster than you or she wants to.


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hyperlexian
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29 Sep 2010, 9:22 am

when i was younger i used to have friends who cuddled in a big puddle. but not me... except for the occasional hug i never engaged in physical affection with friends, whether male or female.

to me, it always felt like teasing, or leading someone on, if there was affectionate physical contact without any further intimacy intended... but i am a real black & white thinker when it comes to boundaries.


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ToughDiamond
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29 Sep 2010, 11:20 am

Northeastern292 wrote:
...is something I love!

Anyways, the beginning of the fall semester went better than I envisioned. I've been hanging out with this girl, and well, we hung out in her room, and we took a cat nap together. Point being is that it was pretty cute, she was stroking my arm, and I was stroking her hair. (NOTE: This is all PG-rated, so nobody freak out!)

Anyways, I'm not sure if she likes me as "just friends" or she likes me as a friend but isn't sure of anything further. All I know is that our friendship has been growing fast, and in no way am I pursuing a relationship right this second. I'm giving this plenty of time and thought.


Let me put it this way: if she were married and her husband walked in on you while you were doing that with each other, would you expect him to be concerned?

I've done similar things with women on rare occasions, and never had sex with them, but while ever it's going on, the two of us knew (or should have known) that it would scare off most other potential mates. And in every example I can recall, I've been mindful of the fact that (usually) only couples get that close to each other, and I've felt a sexual awareness between us, and there's good evidence that so did the ladies involved. She's either a very unusual girl, or you're in.



jac0511
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29 Sep 2010, 1:21 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
when i was younger i used to have friends who cuddled in a big puddle. but not me... except for the occasional hug i never engaged in physical affection with friends, whether male or female.

to me, it always felt like teasing, or leading someone on, if there was affectionate physical contact without any further intimacy intended... but i am a real black & white thinker when it comes to boundaries.


I am the same exact way! I am firm with my boundaries. Oh yeah, I may playfully punch you, or shove you, or slap your butt, but that's about it. The only time I don't mind being enveloped in a hug with just a friend is when I am crying my eyes out. Otherwise, I don't wish to blur the lines-it has been done to me, and in my NT self, thought the person liked me, when in fact it was their way of being affectionate....