A little help ...
Hmm, i was posting this in the hope that i might get a few helpful suggestions. I just don't know what to do.
I went out with a guy with AS for years, hence why i'm here. I never quite understood it all, and i must admit my not knowing didn't help at all, it was actually the cause of a lot of fights we had.
Anyway, so so we broke up, which i was quite happy about. We stayed friends, and i'd call him one of my best friends nowaways. But, recently i started wanting him back, after a few things happened, he told me that he didn't want a girlfriend, but if he did he'd want me, coz i am perfect for him, apparently.
After i broke up with him i got another boyfriend and he knew all about him, and when i broke up with this guy, he knew all about it and that i wanted the newer one back for a while, so he thinks i still want this other guy.
So i'm not sure what to do.
First of all, i want to let him know i still love him, and i don't care about the other guy.
I want to show him i care, but how is that possible? The ways i would show him i care, he would not get (we always had that problem, i thought he didn't care ...).
I want to let him know, it won't be like it used to, i understand more, and i'm more tolerate.
I want to know how he feels, is it possible for us to get back together?
I just don't know how to go about it, but however i go about it, i want it to be good... he means a lot to me.
aspie males dont get nuances and romantic notions........we can learn them but we dont intuitively pick them up...we can feel love but not express it appropriately.
you may be hanging around him like a bad smell and any normal guy could pick up the signals.......but not aspies..we cant read people and we definetly cant read a woman who istrying to throw ourt signals that she is ready for a realationship again.....
try this..communicate with words that have a practical functional meaning with no emotional content.
try "i still love you and i want us to get back together...now"
if you try any combinaton of..."remeber when we used too......"
or " wasnt it nice when....."
or..."when we used to date i liked the fact that........"
nope........dont try and do what all nt women do and try and guage feeling and probe for a response..this will have the undesired efect of confusing and annoying him.
be direct.
" i still ove you, and i want us to get back together...."
you must also say "now"
so he knows you mEAN now....
this is a most unromantic line for you to follow, but dont be embarrased...if you say exactly what you mean he will "love" this and respond how he feels he should.