Soul mates and weird love

Post Reply New Topic

I am not a morning person. Somewhere before my third cup of coffee, my husband stopped ironing his shirt to ask me if I thought he and I were soul mates. What I thought was that it was too early for such random conversation. Heh. I was having a hard time getting my thoughts straight and told him that I was not sure if I bought into the soul mate concept... the verdict is still out for me on that. But I think that it seems silly to confine the idea of soul mates to a person that you are in a relationship with. Perhaps friends could be soul mates, or siblings, or even a parent and a child. Since he left for work, I have been thinking about this soul mate business.

In part of the conversation that my husband was trying to have with me, he mentioned that he thought that this guy who 'adopted' me as his little sister was my soul mate. That made me smile. My 'brother' found me well over five years ago now. He just showed up one day out of nowhere and he and I hit it right off. It is rare that either of us found another human being who could roll with the wacked out jive we both spit now and then. He was spot on with the sibling bit. He is very much like my twin in so many ways. I had never thought of him as my soul mate though. These days when I think of him I think how dreadful I am for neglecting to keep up communication with him. Nowadays, I mostly just miss him.

I would say that I felt a connection to him and in my own weird way I would say that I certainly love the guy. One day he has this almost zen like quality to him and this beautiful idealistic hope for the world that centers and humbles me. The next day he is silly and makes me laugh until my face hurts and reminds me that a delightful thing to do is go riding around parking lots in shopping carts or lay in the grass without any further agenda. Another day he is hell bent on saving the world and I remember how much more complete I feel when I lose myself and do for others. He is this amazing balance of so many things. He has a lot of qualities that I wish I could consistently maintain. Mostly though I respect the man for his strength, empathy and ability to see all the little things I never can see.

So I have been thinking about what a soul mate is and is not and if I even buy into all that in the first place. Is a soul mate just someone who you share some kind of profound or meaningful connection with? Is it one of those instances where you meet a person and it is as though you have known them for years? Is it a comfort level or is it when a person adds some kind of completion to you or makes your world better for knowing them? If that is the case, I have a carpet python who could very well be my soul mate. Is the term bound to human beings? I do not know. I still wonder if it is just two words used by hopeless romantics or idealists. As I said... the verdict is still out with me.

Silly topic perhaps, but since I was not allowed to process all that jive this morning before he ran off to work, I have since been playing catch up and thought it might make for interesting conversation. So I ask...

Do believe in soul mates?

If yes to above...

What do you think a soul mate is?

Do you have a soul mate/have you met your soul mate?

If yes to above...

Care to share a bit about your soul mate?

Anything else to say about any of this?

I think I do believe in something along the lines of soulmates and I met her six years ago. If she's not my soul mate she's certainly something very special. She's my ex gf but also my very best friend ever and the first person I was ever really close to and able to be myself with. We were unable to stay together for various reasons and she is still my closest friend even though I am now married to someone else. Our friendship has been through so much and always come out strong and we've been there for each other and too support each other through lots. Nothing can break it.

Soul mates are not real. That's merely our irrational emotional response to falling in love, but it can happen with any number of people.

Though, that said, there was a time when I thought differently. A year ago, I had a girlfriend who I was convinced was my soul mate. Funny thing is, I'm still not sure if I'm over her.

Asp-Z: You've been hanging out in the PPR forum too much! You don't "know" if there is such a thing as a soul mate or not. Love doesn't always need a reason, so save the rational/irrational language for a different kind of forum.

Look, I'll put it this way: I think that soul mates are "possible," but I'm not 100% sure of such a thing. I've often felt that various girls in my life were my soulmate, not necessarily anyone I ended up marrying. What I do advise, though, is to not base your relationship on the idea of your mate being your soulmate. That person might be or might not be. Think about it: there are any number of people out there in the world you could possibly end up with. How can you possibly know who out there might be THE One? You can't!

My conclusion is that if you can't KNOW who your soulmate is, then why not "make" the soulmate the one you eventually marry? Typically a wedding ceremony entails binding yourself to a person for life. I see nothing wrong with pledging yourself--mind, body, and soul--to another person. Something that I've always found really touching is the Adam and Eve story. Eve was made from Adam's rib, which symbolizes a side-by-side relationship rather than a dominant/submissive relationship (though that CAN be fun). What's wrong with accepting your mate as a divine gift? If wives and husbands are gifts from God, why SHOULDN'T they be soul mates?

Now, if we feel bonded to other people for different reasons, then why should we believe there is such a thing as a single soulmate? You know, like a brother-from-a-different-mother? Personally, I feel those kinds of things are more likely. It's perfectly human--preferable, even--to feel some kind of esoteric kinship with other people. I was active in a college fraternity, and even now when I meet other "brothers," it still amazes me that the ideological bonds are still there. With those kinds of things, it's like talking to someone you just met as though you are old friends just catching up. The whole soulmate thing could be related to that in some way.

Soul mates is kind of a silly romantic name for it, but I do think it exist. There is some sort of "chemistry" between my wife and I that I can't explain. It's something I have never felt with anybody else. It could just be that our personalities compliment each other well. It feels like more than that though.

Love, and the feelings associated with it, have a logical explanation to them, just like all emotions. All an emotion is, in pure scientific terms, is a chemical reacting with the right part of your brain. Don't act like there's anything magical about it, because there isn't, no matter how good the emotion may feel.

I am not sure if I can agree with the concept of a soulmate but I do not inherently believe in a completely biological/biochemical response chain being responsible for feelings such as love. There are people in our lives that do make us feel a certain sense of euphoria, not unlike any drug but then if we look at the people in our lives that make us feel happy and we want to be around them to feel complete we must also look at the opposite end of the emotional spectrum of attachment as well. People who stay in unhealthy relationships because they feel they belong there, it's not always associated with guilt or desperation in fact sometimes its just a routine that we are used to and we do not know what it would be like to be without.

I would say there are people in our lives though that leave us with such strong emotions and impressions though that define what we are feeling. Like let's say you were bullied in school by someone in particular, and later you got a job with a boss that keeps pushing your buttons; a part of you is always going to think about that bully when you were a child when you think of this boss. A soulmate is then someone to me, someone who I would compare every previous or potential future relationship with. However that also opens up room to debate for multiple soulmates and not specifically in a sexual nature.

OP, only you can say for certain that your husband is your soulmate or not. You may consider defining a soulmate further however for the time being based on what you have said I think you do consider him a soulmate, or at least someone who knows you as well as you do. (That last statement is kind of misleading but if your husband asks for verification of being a soulmate I'd just say yes. )

I thought the idea of soul mates was ridiculous until I met my fiancé. I felt really eerie the first time meeting him- like he had always been with me. It still creeps me out how compatible we are.

I believed in soul-mates 1ce. That was years ago. We had lots of weird things in common & we had this very strong connection. If we had been adopted; I would of guessed we could of had the same biological parents like genetic brother & sister because we connected so well. it was a very strong deep connection; least I felt it. If I believed in the idea on a one true love, one soul-mate ect; it was her

Never believed in the whole thing, but looking back, I've definitely found a couple. One is my friend, the other is my boyfriend (and also my best friend). It's all the more obvious because I very rarely 'click' with anyone.

I believe it. I had the fortune/misfortune to find mine early in life. Fortune because of the usual reasons -- misfortune because I have met a lot of women since then who would have been great girlfriends and really would have helped fulfill my needs for "experience," but once you're taken, you really can't go down that path without problems.

How do you know?

You love them on a whole other level, as if they are a part of you. When you are not with them, or if you dump them for a while (like I did to mine briefly), you find your thoughts continuously returning to them. You keep on thinking about how you can't wait to tell them something that just happened to you today, something funny you thought of, etc., and then realize you're no longer together.

Your soul mate is someone you can actually joke about the time you had an affair behind their back, and they'll still love you for it and laugh with you (while they're slapping the crap out of you).

Your soul mate is the person who is on your side when no one else is, the person who always thinks of you, your needs, and how much you mean to them.

I've passed on so many opportunities (and if you knew me and my "drives," you would think this was a big deal) because I love my soul mate too much. I can't bear to lose her, even if it means passing up the experiences of my dreams or a great new contact/relationship.

I think like so many words, the word soul mate is used too often and thus watered down, sometimes even to the point of calling a good friend a soul mate.
My definition is a lot more strict and I doubt you often get to meet more than a single soul mate in your life.

I cant really say whether I buy into the idea. I think its an article of faith. But even if I am a rationalist, I have seen way too much too discredit it.

A soul mate can be anyone. It can be your mother or a friend or even The One True Love.

I believe I am lucky enough to have found my soul mate in my far-away gf. And at first I thought that signified mainly an extremely deep connection and intense romance. That incredibly deep connection is definitely there but there is a lot more to it.

When she got very sick we ended up in some kind of crisis of which it is not useful to speak now.

But when trying to deal with everything and make sense of it I came across a Buddhist wisdom nugget that went like this:

"when you meet your soul mate that does not necessarily always mean major romance. But he or she will definitely confront you with your deepest issues"

So beware, meeting your soul mate may involve a lot of turmoil and it can shake you to your core.

someone (or maybe more) that i connected with on a deeper level. someone i could literally talk to for an entire day, sometimes. someone who makes me angrier than i have ever felt before, but also happier, and safer, and more complete.

yes.

no. i can't.


i don't think of it as actually 'soul' mates, just 2 puzzle pieces that need to be connected.

Yes, I do believe we can have a soulmate. I have one, but it is not my husband. I love my husband with all my heart, he truly tries to understand me, he is caring, great to be around, etc...but someone I met years ago knew me like nobody else...and it was that way from day one. Weird but true. At least for me. I had a very rough time a few years back and I had to write him. He was the only person that I know that understood exactly how I felt. We are actually friends still. He is happily married, I am happily married. But no doubt that our connection, the one that I don't have to say anything and he knows what is going through my mind is there...and it has never been there with anyone but him.

Everyone has multiple soul mates.

Even if stuff doesn't go smoothly, you probably are soul mates of some sort. After all, soul mates are here to work out their issues.

I agree with the idea of multiple soulmates.

I would like to be someone's dream guy, not the one they are settling for when they can't get anyone else.