Being happy with yourself...

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I see this topic show up quite a bit here. How can you be happy with yourselves and be at inner peace? It just seems like a struggle for us, compounded by our non-existent social lives.

I'm happy with myself, it's my life that I hate.

It's complicated, but basically... learn philosophy, learn to understand your desires and thereby justify your existence. You can start by thinking of how the universe might have originated, how it works and how you originated.

It is difficult, but it's doable. If you have the time, read and apply philosophy to your life. But whatever is good about your life now -- don't get rid of it. As you understand more, you should only apply the knowledge in ways that improves your life.

But if you really try to understand everything about everything, you'llprobably feel more like you've wasted time.

You asked a question that's difficult to answer... either for us or yourself. Try to understand the purpose of your life. If you can do that, understanding of your actions will follow. Frankly, I think your actions are just effects.

The fact that you live and desire happiness gives you the right to feel a certain kind of peace... I'm not sure if you understand that. The various emotions you might feel can be attained in various ways, and you'll really have to figure out those ways yourself.

However, a general rule is to be honest with yourself and actively pursue your desires. While doing so you can try to understand your desires better and improve your efficiency at satisfying them, but don't spend too much time thinking. You need to act and your body needs to recognize that its being led to something good.

Well, I'll just recommend a few books and authors I like that might give you some motivation and useful information.

You can try The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, Human Action by Ludwig von Mises, or... how about an autobiography of Benjamin Franklin . Actually there's a certain one I like but I've forgotten the author. Anyway, reading directly about a person's life can help you understand some things about your own, but be sure you separate the two. Live your own life, pursue your own forms of satisfaction.

silly me, I didn't forget the author, but it's a certain version of Benjamin Franklin's autobiography.

You can find yourself at least comfortable in the scheme of things in terms of realizing that you're know better off, no worse off, than most people when you look at life in aggregate. No, temporally that won't necessarily ward off the emotional pains and aches but its a tool that's there at your disposal.

As far as books and short reads though, I'd recommend Happiness is a Serious Problem by Dennis Prager. I think he has it pretty well nailed that its relative to personal adjustment, that's not saying that everyone can necessarily do it (ie. if its an issue where life teases and keeps things just out of reach its a little more complicated) but this is still a good basis to approach the problem and apply what you can where you can.

I am happy with my life ... unfortunately others seem not to be happy with me. They seem to harbor these preconceived notions on what interests women have and activities they enjoy. I usually do not like most of these activites which sometimes puzzles them but mostly it just angers them. Life is short and I plan on enjoying myself regardless. What is really startling is this anger is usually from other women.

I have no desire to conform to the majority, so I couldn't care less about having no social life. I'm not only happy with myself, but I am proud of who I am.

How can you not?

Yeah I really struggle with this as everyone who has seen me post knows. It's definitely a work in progress. I have a social life but I feel like I'm missing out on something more. At first I thought it was just the lack of a relationship but it turns out that isn't really the case at all. I want something else but I'm not sure what it is. I wish my brain would be straightforward with me for once... >.<

RyanS - Philosophy goes right over my head. I managed to get an A in my college philosophy class even though I had no idea what they were talking about. *shrug*

Inner peace can be obtained fairly easily. It's being happy with yourself that isn't.

I find I'm happy with myself as long as I don't stare too hard into the abyss of my love life.
I tend not to stare into the abyss when I'm stoned.
I'm stoned a lot
(in fact, right now )

No, I mean, what are the causes of your unhappiness.

I am happy with my hand ... um, I mean with myself.

I'm not happy because:
- I'm not a social butterfly
- I can't read non-verbal body language
- I tend to screw up relationships with the other sex
- I don't have too many friends even though I have an OK social life.
- I'm one of the few people I know who has not been in an relationship. Let alone any sexual encounter.

But, in a way, pursuing your own desires like that is the most selfish thing you can do... I don't want to be that.