too dependant on my boyfriend?

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emlion
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17 Oct 2010, 3:04 pm

do you think i'm too dependant on my boyfriend?
when he's not here i don't know what to do and feel uncomfortable making decisions.
but it's not like he makes my decisions for me; when he's here i just ask him if i'm making the right decision and mostly he'll just say to do what i think is right and that makes me feel safe.
-is it bad i kind of need his reassurance, i guesss?



Tahitiii
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17 Oct 2010, 3:53 pm

Probably.
How much is too much is hard to say, but it sounds like your instincts are giving you a clue.
You need to maintain an identity of your own. Both internal and external.
External = your job, credit card or bills in your name, your own friends and interests...
Internal elements of your identity are harder to define. You don't need anyone's permission to be yourself.



OneStepBeyond
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17 Oct 2010, 4:02 pm

Most people need reassurance sometimes. But needing it all the time can't be good and could lead to an unhealthy relationship. Try being a bit more independent, for your own benefit.



emlion
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17 Oct 2010, 5:07 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
Most people need reassurance sometimes. But needing it all the time can't be good and could lead to an unhealthy relationship. Try being a bit more independent, for your own benefit.


i do try, i just fail - like at most things.
although i do have my own job/car/bank accounts etc.
it's just for things like decision making i'm useless.



OneStepBeyond
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17 Oct 2010, 6:21 pm

im terrible at decisions too. i dont know whether its just depression (apparently that's a symptom) or whether its just what im like. its not necessarily bad that you choose to rely on him, but its bad that you cant cope alone if you have to