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The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Oct 2010, 9:38 am

....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.



Asp-Z
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18 Oct 2010, 10:13 am

Well my peers all think I'm awesome in that department because of a rumour someone spread about me ages ago :lol:

But anyways, in terms of having loads of friends, I honestly could not care less, I'm fine having a small circle of those, and while I do wish to have a relationship, I'm not envious of the ones my peers have for many reasons.



ToadOfSteel
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18 Oct 2010, 10:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.


yup. this.

Unless you're just trolling the rest of us... lol



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Oct 2010, 10:41 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.


yup. this.

Unless you're just trolling the rest of us... lol


what?

no!

I swear!

Image



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Oct 2010, 10:52 am

nah, the OP is serious, but I can't help myself to troll you at least once per day.



techstepgenr8tion
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18 Oct 2010, 11:38 am

I used to feel much more this way when I looked back at guys and girls who I knew back when I was 20, who were utterly clueless and seemed to look up to me or my friends, and then they turn around and pass my by a long shot because theirs really was nothing more than a gulf of knowledge or experience.

I ultimately always found myself to be the slowest runner, the person who always came in last place - ultimately I realized that I had to resize the demands I was placing on myself and how seriously I was willing to take society's demands and labels as my absolute worth. Seeing myself as a God-sized loser just didn't fit; I'd done everything I could to help myself, never stopped thinking about what I wasn't doing that I could be and then implementing it - I had to just trust that everything else about my identity that's there is what it is, the stereotypes can't take that away nor my dignity. If I've faired in relationships a little worse than the guy I know who say can't string two sentences together, crushes his ritalin and snorts it, and is in and out of jail for credit card theft - I can at least appreciate that he has much bigger problems in other facets of his life than I do.

So I think the only choice you have is just disengage it from your self-esteem. We're a special case in that regard and we kind of need to do this in order to have enough energy or optimism to go on with our lives rather than squash what potential we have left under all kinds of depression and endless self-criticism. I used to be my own worst bully - was for a long time - but had to stop when I realized that trying to simply 'grow a pair' or be a man simply had no long term effect on making any of these things easier (and being that I had a lot of rather invasive adults in my life who'd remind you of the sheriff from Devil's Rejects or Densel in Training Day - I had a lot of criticism to that end stacked on my brain so I ultimately had to prove to myself that it wasn't sheer emotive weakness on my part).



Emeria
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18 Oct 2010, 11:56 am

If I see younger people I know having good, strong relationships off-line, it's really hard for me to not be jealous. Perhaps I am odd, but I constantly feel like I have to be around people.


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18 Oct 2010, 12:40 pm

The only thing that goes through my head when I see younger people in relationships is "I wonder how they met...maybe if I listen in they'll drop some clues" but then I worry about being a creeper and move on.



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18 Oct 2010, 1:04 pm

I usually think, youth is wasted on the young



MissConstrue
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18 Oct 2010, 1:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.


I feel the same way yet to think different it won't.


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Moog
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18 Oct 2010, 1:23 pm

I remember I used to feel horrible pangs of pain, particularly in the summer, when witnessing all the 'normal' people getting together and socialising and having relationships and all that.

I'm not bothered anymore, their lives are different to mine.


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nthach
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18 Oct 2010, 1:38 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.

I feel like a second-class citizen. I don't accept the fact I have AS, and I hate myself for not being able to socialize. I want to do all the things NTs take for granted - for us, it seems like a battle we'll never win.

I'll never live in acceptance I'm different than 99% of the population.



zen_mistress
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18 Oct 2010, 2:34 pm

Yes I do feel bad, bu i try hard every day to get whatever enjoyment I can out of things if i can, as I cant seem to gain success through the normal routes.


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LiendaBalla
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18 Oct 2010, 2:37 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.


I'd feel like I was stareing toward at least one kid who will treat his future rejection as if it was the end of all life. "Their all the same! Look at what that #$% did to ME! :cry:"

Call me judgmental?



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18 Oct 2010, 4:03 pm

nthach wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
....you witness teen guys or girls who are at least 10 years younger than you yet are successfully in relationships , having friends and a good social life?

I feel like a severely social ret*d every time I see much younger guys talking and analyzing about their relationships.

I feel like a second-class citizen. I don't accept the fact I have AS, and I hate myself for not being able to socialize. I want to do all the things NTs take for granted - for us, it seems like a battle we'll never win.

I'll never live in acceptance I'm different than 99% of the population.


A battle you'll never win? AS is a learning impairment. Just because we pick things up more gradually doesn't mean we can't pick them up at all. I wasn't born with moves, but I've learned to have an honest conversation and that's the start of any relationship. If you tell yourself you're a social ret*d who can't ever have a relationship, you won't ever have one. Nobody wants to hook up with a moper.

There are people all over this site who have AS and stable relationships, a lot are even married with families, so you can't blame your AS for your personal failure to believe in your own abilities. I would never argue that autism is not a disability, because it surely is, but having a limp is not the same as being born without legs.


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happymusic
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18 Oct 2010, 4:07 pm

I had this exact experience the other day at work. Two of my 10th grade students (15 yo) unknowingly wrote essays about how much fun they have when they hang out with each other. They seem like great friends and they both chat and joke with all the other kids around them. I realized how they are so much more advanced than I am socially and how when they are my age now they'll have normal lives with children and friends and social engagements and that they'll understand things that I don't think I'll ever understand. In just a few short years they'll surpass me in that regard. It made me feel dark inside - quite forlorn.