Where do you look for a date?

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I've realized I have a problem; I'm not meeting women. As a computer science major at NCSU, I am in classes which for the most part are entirely (or almost entirely) male. I've noticed the same problem with the extracurriculars I attend; whether assorted anime clubs, gaming clubs (not like Twister, but like Magic: The Gathering and GURPS and HERO, and stuff), or the Society for Creative Anachronism, I'm not meeting people I'm interested in?

Where did people here find their dates?

some ideas...

1) pubs - you dont have to drink though.
2) friends of friends - one of your friends must have some female friends?
3) OK Cupid (www.okcupid.com) 2 of my past friends met their significant other online.

I subscribed to plentyoffish.com a couple of days ago, and I got a reply from a woman who lives about 90 miles from me. She and I are very compatible, but I am not sure how it would work out since I might be going to school in either Idaho or Montana.

Tim

I've tried most dating sites, and they generally don't work for me; too many crazies, pregnant teens, or other types that I'd be completely incompatible with.

I should've phrased this question with the additional modifier (within the boundaries of NCSU campus or somewhat away from it), because as of now this is pretty much the only area I'd have access to.

Ok, dating isn't really my thing, but have you considered places like the library or dining room (i'm going to asssume there is one), or even some sort of common area? Somewhere that people gather.

Dating sites are like singles bars. People there tend to motivated by factors that are counter productive for creating and maintaining strong relationships.

My friends either don't associate with single woman, or will only if they have a chance of scoring. If that's the case for you, don't believe anything they say about relationships.

Not to say you can't be successful. You have to be true to yourself and not get distracted by all of the 'easy' sex.

Do some of your homework in the cafeteria.

Be willing to let others sit next to you, and reasonable expect that you can ask to sit next to strangers. If you're patient, and don't let the pressure to be extraverted get to you, you'll meet a woman who is comfortable with your style of socializing.

To the original poster,
I don't meet any women either! At my school, most of the girls are mostly lesbians or bi-curious and find me too distrubing to be around. I am a straight Aspie looking for someone who shares the same interests as me, regardless of AS.

Dating isn't really my thing but if I had a gf, then we would come to an agreement opting for a quiet night either doing each other's HW, go out bowling, or perhaps catch a cheap movie.

I'm only 16. Can anyone help?

You're 16; you're in high school where half the "dating" is done for social status. Wait until college because even if you find someone in high school, it probably won't last if you both go to different colleges.

I don't care too much about the sex part as that is physically satisfyable through autoeroticism. Sex without an emotional component (e.g. affection) is wrong in that you're just using that person for your own physical needs; in essence he/she is just a sex doll. I'd feel really bad with myself in the morning for having sex with a person unless it was one I really cared about. So that said, I'm avoiding singles bars for now.

As for other areas to meet people, what to suggest? I remember one book I read suggested social events like political meetings and churches and other stuff like that, but I'd feel uncomfortable in such situations as:
A) I'm out of the religious mainstream. Going to a Christian youth group to find a girl would be weird, especially due to my humanistic views partially synthesized with Gnostic esotericm. Trying to argue about the significance of Aleister Crowley in such an environment would be very counterproductive.
B) I'm also outside of the political mainstream. You're looking at a Libertarian anarchist who basically believes ("As long as an action doesn't inflict net harm others, it's legal. However, should the action harm others, it's illegal. Therefore, prostitution is legal, but bribing a government to allow your oil company the right to drill over peasant's substinence farmlands is illegal due to the net harm it causes.").

So unless there were some way for me to get around my outsider religious/political beliefs, those two common means of meeting people would not be good for me.

Do you have female friends?

If not - try to get those first, because they help A LOT.

To look for dates, I use dating sites. However, I only contact girls who either don't have photos at all, or have photos but don't look attractive in them. They don't have as many guys contacting them, so they're more likely to pick me out of all the guys that write to them.

To look for sex, I use escort agenies. It's simple and efficient, and makes me look less desperate for weeks afterwards.

Your problem is, you hang around the computery clubs, and if it's not those sort of people you want to date, they are the wrong places.

Your best bet is to try pubs or clubs, or perhaps a club that isn't computer or anime related such as maybe a sport, reading, drawing.. whatever you're into

Right.

LIke Hale bopp said.

you're a computer dude who spends too much time on the virtual spectrum of a non existant reality.

my friend, the best advice for you is that you start using escort agencies. if I didn't go to christian college, I'd be doing that on the weekends.


no. but seriously. get out there mate, talk to a few girls. though while I'm not a big fan of this, girls sort of do like gay or bi curious guys. if you can pass yourself off as gay or bi curious, then maybe you might start finding that girls come after you. I'm straight, but I know a lot of gay guys out there who find that getting dates isn't that hard.

I understand what you mean. NT think in a very hypocritical way. It is ok to eat meat: Chickens that come from cramped, piss smelling, cold factories and never see the sun.but it is not ok to run over a free-range-squirrel in a parking lot, even if I feed him to my neighbour’s dog.

I love running over game every chance a get, even cats!

I've met a couple of promising women here, one's 150 mi. away, the other 300, not far unless you're British.
I've met one at the library.
Met my wife's son before I met my wife. I'm not afraid to socialize outside my agegroup.

Very few; I can count them off a hand. The problem is most of them have more male than female friends. So basically I don't really have any non-gamer female friends.




Me likey idea of an art club, except I'd probably spend too much time drawing doujin. As for sports, once again, I fall out of the mainstream, having no interest in American Football, soccer, baseball, etc. I wish I could do fencing next semester, but I have class at the same time as the club meeting, so that's not an option unfortunately. This also makes Aikido, Karate and Kendo unavailable as well. Our school doesn't teach Krav Maga or Ninjitsu or Muay Thai, though I do know of an area off-campus that teaches Pakua. Wrestling is gay (I have nothing against mud wrestling though =P). And finally, SCA heavy combat generally isn't the best way to get a date.

Sorry if I'm being difficult.

dude.

to put it bluntly....you're royally screwed.

the fact that you're a gamer.....the human race loves us gamers, since we get made fun of...a lot, but then there are those of us gamers who don't spend tons of time in front of computers.

my advice?

let it go. don't worry about it. Let God provide.