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nihilist_void
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08 Jun 2006, 2:15 am

I'm Cambodian and my family just set me up with my new sister in-laws cousin. We've only known each other for a few weeks but this is the first relationship experience for the both of us and we've really seemed to hit it off. We talk for at least an hour a day. But because of my current living situation (recently had to move back home with the folks at 23) and the fact that I pissed away everything I once had because of bad choices and substance abuse issues, I now am in quite possibly the worst financial and living status that I've ever been in. So of course I'm not going to be open about who I really am at this point because of my self-esteem issues. So I've managed to spin this web of lies and build this fantasy world that I tell her I live in so as to not come off as pathetic as I really am. Well her parents have finally caught on to this, even though I've never spoken with them. And in the Asian culture, if her parents don't approve, then there is no possibility of us ever really getting together. I feel like s**t now because I think I've completely ruined this great opportunity and her parents don't even like me any more. But for some reason I've always found it necessary to lie to at least build some credibility. But I don't think its ever gotten me into this much grief. If I lose her it would absolutely destroy me. I called her the other night and confessed to her some of the things I've lied about but I don't think it helped much. Her parents still hate me and we've never even spoken.
What should I do?



Mitch8817
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08 Jun 2006, 2:23 am

You've lied this whole time, so how about you try a bit of honesty? Perhaps they will understand why you felt the need to lie in the first place, and if not then you won't be left wondering. It seems clear that if you continue to lie it will only get worse and isn't part of a healthy relationship honesty anyway?



Mitch8817
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08 Jun 2006, 2:25 am

Oops I just noticed that you had come clean a bit, my mistake. But I think honesty is an all or nothing deal, so why not sit this lady and her parents down and let it all go? What have you got to lose that's not already slipping away?



nihilist_void
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08 Jun 2006, 2:34 am

cuz I'm a total douchebag! This is quite possibly the worst time in my entire life for me to meet someone, because my self-esteem has never been this low. But at the same time if it works out it could be the best thing because I think its the only thing that would get me out of this 7 year rut I've been in, plagued with depression and drug use. I know its the only thing that would get me to want to change my life for the better.