Relationships and small talk

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I am in a nice relationship with a seemingly wonderful person. We've both expressed our love for one another, but, I know they feel that I am sometimes uninterested in talking with them. The cause for this, I feel is the lack of small talk we have. We can end up having very deep conversations but, when it comes to making small talk I am at a loss. That is not to say I am incapable of making small talk, I do it every day with them and others. In fact, I challenge myself each day to come up with at least something new to say. I suppose the problem is.. Coming up with small talk, keeping it up and moving on to more meaningful conversations stemming from small talk. Does anyone out there have any tips for someone struggling with small talk? I would like to some day be able to have easygoing small talk at any time I choose in the future, for the betterment of our relationship.

Small talk just plain sucks. Conversations should have some purpose to validate it as a proper use of time. Just thinking about small talk in a relationship makes me think of the song "Let's f**k" by Dope if that tells you anything, and I'm not just some guy who gets caught up in one night stands, I spent 2 years with one girl recently and before that I spent almost a year with another one before she cheated on me.

Point being, forget small talk it's stupid.

I like not having to make small talk with my boyfriend.
The silences aren't awkward anymore because we don't feel the need to constantly talk.

Maybe something interesting you did earlier in the day, or something interesting that you observed? Or an ongoing news story that strikes your fancy.

And the artful part is that you don't invest too much into small talk! (I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one, a very zen-like quality of doing by under-doing, of trying by under-trying etc, etc. I also tell myself light touch, and believe it or not, that helps some)

My problem with small talk and conversations is keeping the discussion fueled. I don't want to talk about my interests with the women I talk to, just because I feel they wouldn't be interested in or call me a weirdo. I think that girls only want to talk about "girly" things.

I can only speak for myself, but i feel good when people talk to me about their interests. i love to learn about new things - even if other people think that they might be uninteresting. It's good to know what people like.

I agree. Small talk is something you have to do with customers if you work with the general public. It should not be a requirement between people who actually matter to one another. When you're comfortable with a person, you aren't aware of the silences and constantly trying to fill them.

If I'm interested in a guy, I want to know all about him and what his interests are. I want him to open up and show me who he is. I can talk about girly things with other girls.

I like that, too. But the artful part, for those of us on the spectrum, is to talk about our interests without ending up giving a college lecture!

So you are saying that silence is comforting between you and your boyfriend? It doesn't feel awkward?? Is your boyfriend AS?

I don't mind small talk with someone I like. It isn't always easy I understand, but I like to know what my liked persons are thinking and that's really the only way to know.

I have never dated anyone with AS, but every boyfriend I had I got comfortable enough with that silence was never awkward. Just like with a family member or a close friend.

This made me chuckle (in an I-can-relate-to-that-way). =]

Also, we have to make sure we don't overdo the question-asking part of the conversation, or we risk sounding like an interrogator.

No, he's NT. It's comfortable for me, and he's more relaxed when he knows I am.
So it works for both of us. He's not a big talker anyway - strong and silent type. <3

I went out with friends to a bar yesterday. I prepared myself for the small talk that I would be required to engage in by watching the news on t.v. When I got to the bar it was a matter of asking if my friends had heard/ seen the news stories that I did and the conversation took off from there. I made a point of avoiding political stuff. I seem better able to make small talk now than at the same time last year.

If you're intimate with someone, no conversation should be treated as "small talk." Small talk, as others have stated, is reserved for people you don't know that you end up talking to for whatever reason, standing in line, ordering food, etc.

Now I'm not saying that every discussion has to be 100% serious, I know mine aren't. You should talk to one another when you have something to say, not just to kill the silence.