Do ever make things awkward? Almost intentionally?

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Why did I DO that?! I knew better! Right? Anyone feeling me here? Please share your stories of mortified hindsight in the dating/love/relationship setting. I could use the solidarity.

Seems like I always do this...set myself up for some big blow in the relationship arena. I can tell I should probably back off and learn to be "cool" but I just have to keep pushing the envelope until the other person is forced to directly say, "not interested" or worse. Then I'm kicking myself later for letting my need to know for sure drive me to manufacturing awkward where ever I go.

Example: I've been talking to this guy friend. At first it seemed like he wanted to date me, then he backed way off. I don't know if that was because I tend to be kind of shy and stand-offish, or because I'm definitely in an emotional stew pot or because he really just isn't interested. So...we talk some (but nothing too personal), we get out together once in a great while doing a favorite activity (not date type stuff, really), but that's about it. Then I realized I trust him enough to be physical with him, even if the last thing I want right now is a relationship--and it's been long enough that if I were a guy, I'd be cruising the bars. (It's not that I think women can't do that, it's that my female Aspie 'willingness to please' combined with a strong desire for physical interaction at almost any cost is a dangerous combo). So I let him know I've been writing lascivious and inappropriate poetry specifically about him--dropping hints in a series of e-mail exchanges, the last one being quite direct. Now...silence. And I knew I should have quit while I was ahead; I knew I should have just shut up. Can't leave it alone until I burn down all possible chances at any relationship...can't see subject avoidance as a hint until I make it all awkward and drive the poor guy off.

I shared...embarrassing as it is. Anyone else do this? Have experiences like this? If you have a solution, I'm game...but so far, nothing's worked.

For how long have you been friends?

That happens how long into the relation?


Possible reasons at first glance:
- He was not interested
- He did not tried hard enough the first time
- He's been too emotional about your stand-off
- He's been destabilized by your shy to steamy poems transition

Anyway he seems to be abnormally emotional and prostrating in fear.

Oh no, it's definitely intentional. Keep people away for whatever reason I may have. I think I am better at it intentionally now than I was naturally, it's like an art or something.

High five for you soul bruddah... it's all about the skillz, inn't tho?