Girl, Four years younger than me is it a no-go?

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Well, i'm 17 now, and well she's 13 ish she looks more or less the same age as me anyway. but i'm debating asking her out because i've really started to like her.

ignore my age under my photo i'm just planning a week in advance incase it still says 16.

Dude, the four years between 13 and 17 are too much, IMO. Most 13-year-old girls aren't even allowed to date. Even if you have the best intentions, it would be easy to forget that she's just 13 when she looks 17. It just seems like a bad move to me.

i suppose that's fair.

yeah i agree with the poster above too.

Whether you agree with it being okay or not, there will be a lot of talk, and people would probably try to persuade the both of you to break up, and id imagine the parents wouldn't be happpy about it either, whatever your true intentions are.

so id say its a no go simply on that basis alone as it would probably put you both in a quite bad situation

Yeah, it's a no-go (and illegal in most countries...). If you still like her three years from now, then you can ask her out.

accually, it's only illegal if you have sex and i'm not interested in sex at all.

It's not illegal, but why in the world would a 17-year-old be interested in a 13-year-old? What kind of things can you two possibly have in common? I remember being 13 and I remember being 17. It just doesn't compute. If I had a 13-year-old daughter I'd be very wary about a 17-year-old who's trying to date her.

Last edited by menintights on 04 Nov 2010, 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think the problem is that people will assume you are. I mean, you're male and 17.

Sad, but human. You're asking for trouble if you pursue it, basically.

Thats just how it is, couldn't of had said it better moog.

even though I am not pursuing a relationship of any kind, even now 4 years age difference seems kind of a stretch according to my standards anyways.

Yeah, don't do it. You'll turn yourself into a pariah at your school if they find out.

Don't do it. You're in treacherous waters. Otherwise, if you're in your 20's, the +/- 7 rule might be a good benchmark.

13 year olds have no business dating. let alone with 17 year olds.

When I was 17 I fell for a girl who was 14. I didn't "do" anything because it was illegal but I loved her.

We saw each other over the next couple of years.

When I was 19 and she was 16 we had sex. Lots of sex. (The age of consent here is 16)

When I was 21 and she was 18 we nearly married but we didn't.

so.... i have a 16-year-old daughter (she is of the age of consent here), and i would not have considered it acceptable for her to date a guy who was three or four years older than her when she was 13. or 14. or 15.

the laws here allow some flexibility for consent between teenagers of similar age, but it does not apply to a three or four year gap.

i dated older guys when i was 16 (and slightly younger, though nothing illegal happened), and my parents always wondered what they wanted with a younger girl. a couple of the older guys were quite manipulative and one was an outright sociopath, but the big majority were just socially awkward men who had more luck with a younger girl (with a different set of expectations).

but the magic line of legal consent in your area should be the absolute guide as to who you date.

At those ages, yes, that is too much of an age difference.

It's not really until the younger person is 16 that a 4 year difference upward from that is really ok, in my opinion. Or, until the older person is 20 that a 4 year difference downward is ok, and at that point, a lot of people would still think that's a stretch.

you should ask her out. you're both under 18.