Finding love ... eventually.

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blueroses
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07 Nov 2010, 5:19 pm

Does anyone have any positive story they can share on how they found a happy, healthy relationship either later in life or just after being hurt a lot? Or, does anyone know someone else who has managed to do this?

To be perfectly honest, I'm just feeling a little down and about ready to give up on trying meet someone. So, I'm basically panhandling for some reassurance here. But, I have the feeling I'm not the only one on this forum who could benefit from a thread like this ...



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Nov 2010, 5:48 pm

Girls on this board who are less pretty than you (I am assuming that your avatar is your pic) and far more annoying and whiner than you could have a bf recently.

I am sure that you will find love (will...not would).



Moog
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07 Nov 2010, 5:49 pm

Apparently my astrological particulars specify a late marriage. That's what I'm relying on, anyway. Deferred hope. :lol:

I'm sorry this isn't very helpful.


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blueroses
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07 Nov 2010, 5:54 pm

Thanks, Boo. That's kind of you to say that.

Maybe I should have my chart done, too, Moog. Kind of afraid of what I might find out, though. :)



ToadOfSteel
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07 Nov 2010, 5:55 pm

blueroses wrote:
So, I'm basically panhandling for some reassurance here.


Ask and you shall receive... :wink:

In all honesty though, you seem like a nice enough person from your posts. From looking at your posts, your mind is together and your heart is in the right place. In fact, you seem like the type of woman I would go for. Desperation on my part? Perhaps. But on the other hand, you also deserve a lot better than me. Your profile says you're a social worker and you mentioned in a previous post that you work with the elderly (no i didn't know that off the top of my head, i did a post search from your profile), so either you're getting some real good job benefits or you have genuine compassion for others and a drive to help them. And those two things I find incredibly attractive. So there's at least one guy out there that thinks you're worth it :wink: :oops:



nthach
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07 Nov 2010, 6:01 pm

I'm confident you'll find someone worthy to have a relationship with. It takes time and unfortunately us aspies are more prone to failure, heartbreak and just the general feeling of "I can't". It takes time.

As for me, I decided to work on my social skills and how to talk to women. Dating will come later on - preferably when I move out of my parent's house and get a job sometime next year.



blueroses
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07 Nov 2010, 6:06 pm

I hadn't really been trying to turn this into the Blueroses support thread, as much as just trying to inject a little optimism and get people to share their stories, but thanks. You guys are the best. (group hug)



Babtor24
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07 Nov 2010, 9:05 pm

I have had a lot of, as one might say, different, experiences with women over the years. I am also someone who has no idea when women might be attracted to me; however this is something I am trying to be more cognizant about.

The strange thing though is that I have always met some people along the way that have really fit, in terms of relationships with women. They might be few and far between but they do happen and they do exist.

I think the best thing for us Aspie's to remember is don't rush things and just be patient. Not something everyone might want to hear but its the truth. Good things always come to he or she who waits. Plus those tend to be the best types of relationships.

So don't worry you will find someone great it just might take a little longer than normal. You just have to find them first which is part of the misery, part of the fun and worth it in the end.



Zara
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07 Nov 2010, 9:09 pm

I don't know any such stories off the top of my head... but I'm sure there are some out there. I wouldn't mind hearing them.

I feel down about the single life as well.
You seem like a nice gal blueroses, so I hope you find someone.


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menintights
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07 Nov 2010, 9:16 pm

A healthy relationship?

The only people I know who are in a healthy relationship are gay. Everyone else is just in a relationship.



willa
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08 Nov 2010, 1:06 am

Since i've seen like a dozen relationships completely fall apart in the last half year my outlook on the situation is very negative, but i'll share 2 key characteristics that they've all shared.


1. They loved but did not respect each other
2. Person A was in love with B while B only loved A because A was in love with B.


Hopefully those few things can help when thinking about what makes a relationship work.


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Kiseki
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08 Nov 2010, 9:03 am

Well, this is probably not positive but I am 4 years older than you and never done more than kiss another person. Never had a relationship, sex, nothing. So don't feel bad!

I'm sure you can find your perfect person if you just put yourself out there :) Lemme tell you, staying in the house all the time (like I do) doesn't work.