How do you connect with people?

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One of my biggest problems is my inability to connect with people. Partly this is due to the fact that I have been "burned" so many times by people I consider friends. But even with people who would always help a friend and is just all around good I have a problem connecting. I always wonder if they like me or if they are just being nice to me.

I do have someone I consider my best friend, but the reasons I consider that is because she and I are now living together, although I wonder why we are living together, if she doesn't have some arterial motive, since she moved in with me partly so she can move back to "civilization" from where she was living after a really stupid relationship that didn't involve me. Maybe my problem is trust, I just can't trust people enough to let myself connect to someone.

This problem of course brings up the problem of ever finding a serious relationship, if I could ever find someone to begin with. Aside from the fact that I really don't know how to make friends, and the few friends I do have came from years ago through mutual desperation and my current best friend who pursued a friendship with me rather aggressively. All my other that I should consider friends stem from my one friendship with my bestfriend. So I don't know if they consider me a friend or just someone who is friends with my bestfriend.

Is this all related to past negative experience or is it Asperger's or is it a mixture of both? I just don't know.

I don't know the answer I'm afraid. I have the same problem and I too often wonder if people like me or just tolerate my presence as they don't seem to ever invite me anywhere, but then that is probably because they never really feel like they get to know me properly as I just don't seem to be open enough. I am very quiet.

I think that the best way to get closer to people is to talk to them and take an interest in them. Let them see that they are important to you. I can never think of anything to say to people, so this is a problem for me.

I have the exact same problem!


My mom, for many years, denied I had Asperger's. She believed that the diagnosis was a simplistic explanation of my problems and just a label that the doctors slapped on me. She said that the only reason why I didn't have friends was because I wasn't around any other kids who shared my interests. But even when I started joining clubs that involved activities I was interested in, I still couldn't make friends! It felt like no matter how much I had in common with other people, I just couldn't "click" with them.

The rare times that I felt like I really connected with someone, they were also Aspies. I find it's much easier to directly relate to people who have the same level of social skills as I do.

I have two friends these days and alot of acquaintances. One of my friends is an aspie, the other friend is an artist, in other words: an intuitive openminded weirdo. their both male too. I haven't had a female friend in over 10 years. I cannot connect or relate to other people. I dont live in their world and they dont live in mine. Ive stopped talking about my interests alltogether, because it just has no use chatting about how i browsed wikipedia all weekend long while they went out to party or play sports. They cannot relate nor connect with me much either.

But my two friends are as close to me as family. Very strong bonds, we understand eachother very well and we never stop chatting and doing stuff. I'm happy i ran into them. I met one of them on a forum, the other one at a playground for kids. Both instances i was pretty lucky.

I do find it easier to find people i can relate to just a little when i hang around areas of interest although it is indeed not a guarantee. Atleast then i can talk about something, show my face, talk about stuff and listen to others which is nice, because then i dont have to bother the people in my direct environment who arent interested in my obsessions

Wirelessly.