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Break Up Help

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GraphicHayley
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21 Nov 2010, 9:42 pm

Im dating someone who kind of annoys the crap out of me... and I don't know how to break up with him. I keep listening to this song "Hope" by The Submarines.. and I figured out why.. the lyric..

"ain't no sunshine gonna take this rain away.."

And it's true.. I think he's really immature.. and it just bugs me. I cant get over it.

So now I'm going to call him.. and break up with him. Any ideas as to what I should say would be nice..



emlion
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21 Nov 2010, 9:45 pm

'It's not you, it's me.'?

No, seriously - maybe something like you're just too different to be together or something like that?



hale_bopp
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21 Nov 2010, 10:02 pm

Breaking up with someone is really really hard.

You can try mentioning you're not compatible, its usually the truth, and it's not nasty or anything to say.



Chronos
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22 Nov 2010, 12:53 am

GraphicHayley wrote:
Im dating someone who kind of annoys the crap out of me... and I don't know how to break up with him. I keep listening to this song "Hope" by The Submarines.. and I figured out why.. the lyric..

"ain't no sunshine gonna take this rain away.."

And it's true.. I think he's really immature.. and it just bugs me. I cant get over it.

So now I'm going to call him.. and break up with him. Any ideas as to what I should say would be nice..


"I have to be honest with you. I don't think we are very compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend and I think we should stop dating"



RICKY5
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22 Nov 2010, 1:33 am

GraphicHayley wrote:
Im dating someone who kind of annoys the crap out of me... and I don't know how to break up with him. I keep listening to this song "Hope" by The Submarines.. and I figured out why.. the lyric..

"ain't no sunshine gonna take this rain away.."

And it's true.. I think he's really immature.. and it just bugs me. I cant get over it.

So now I'm going to call him.. and break up with him. Any ideas as to what I should say would be nice..


Just tell him "I don't want to bang you (anymore)."



Wombat
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22 Nov 2010, 2:28 am

It is hard to break up with someone.

You liked them and you still like them a bit but you know that there is no future. This is not "the one" for you.

You don't want to hurt them. You don't want to see them crushed and crying.

But you know that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them.

So you just have to grit your teeth and say "Bill/Mary" it is over. That is it. No hard feelings but I don't want to see you anymore.

Oh my god! You are going to get the crying and the text messages and the "what did I do wrong" and "I can make it up to you if you give me another chance"!

If you give them another chance then you will be back to the same spot in another couple of months.

You must grit your teeth and be firm.



Smike
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22 Nov 2010, 2:29 am

"I've realised I'm actually a lesbian. And no, you can't have a threesome with me"



Stellar
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22 Nov 2010, 11:02 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Breaking up with someone is really really hard.

You can try mentioning you're not compatible, its usually the truth, and it's not nasty or anything to say.

This sounds pretty good right here. He's probably going to be hurt either way so just try to be careful with what you say. Good luck to both of you.



Kilroy
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22 Nov 2010, 11:05 am

Smike wrote:
"I've realised I'm actually a lesbian. And no, you can't have a threesome with me"


genius

or say you're asexual
that would work even better



lotusblossom
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22 Nov 2010, 11:55 am

Wombat wrote:
It is hard to break up with someone.

You liked them and you still like them a bit but you know that there is no future. This is not "the one" for you.

You don't want to hurt them. You don't want to see them crushed and crying.

But you know that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them.

So you just have to grit your teeth and say "Bill/Mary" it is over. That is it. No hard feelings but I don't want to see you anymore.

Oh my god! You are going to get the crying and the text messages and the "what did I do wrong" and "I can make it up to you if you give me another chance"!

If you give them another chance then you will be back to the same spot in another couple of months.

You must grit your teeth and be firm.

I think thats what happened with my ex, I thought he was 'the one' but he didnt think I was :(
I agree with Wombat, its better to be firm now and finish with them once, rather than lead them on because you dont want to be mean, and end up hurting them more.



Grisha
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22 Nov 2010, 1:06 pm

What LotusBlossom said. ^^^

As one who has been on the receiving end more than I care to admit, I agree with the "ripping off the bandage" approach.

Be firm and unambiguous, but make it clear that you don't enjoy hurting him.

Please avoid consolation ("you'll find someone else") because it adds insult to injury by invalidating/refusing to acknowledge his pain. It's like telling someone who just lost a child that they can have another one.

Good luck!