What to talk about with my beloved?

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Hi there,

there is some girl, i really like very much, and she also seems to like me much, she already seems to know i have AS, and was patiently waiting until i could look her into her eyes.

On thing i am still struggling very much is "talk" and "smalltalk". I simply don't know what to write to her, and what to talk with her, no topic. Maybe its because i work alot and think alot the whole day about math. No topic comes to my mind which i could write to her.

It seems that most normal people also often don't know what to talk about. I see them then often talk about others, saying he or she is this and that, often with prejudices. Must i start talking stupid things? Must i find my own way of talking? I don't know what to talk about, what to write her... really sad

Maybe you have some ideas how to cope with that....

thanks alot for reading!

Antonius

You can always start with questions. People like to talk about themselves. Nothing intrusive, but the sorts of things she may like to share. And, hopefully, things you are actually interested in listening to (you don't want to end up looking bored when she eagerly answers!, so avoid questions in topics that have no interest to you at all)

Are you a fan of music? What kind of music do you like?
Have you seen a movie recently that you really liked?
Where did you grow up? What were your favorite and least favorite things about that place?
What is your favorite food?

Or ... maybe you can get lucky with this one:

Do you like math? What kind of math do you like?

Ok, what if you know her for longer, and know already these things, you usually ask a new person?

Maybe is my life just to boring, to tell anything about? For me its not boring, but i can't tell her about math and science stuff. This won't interest her!

Antonius

In that case, presumably you know what interests you two do share, and what areas she is happy to listen to just because they do interest you. You focus on those subjects.

And everyone has to eat. You can always talk about recipes or restaurants.

And the weather. Lol, yeah, that has such a bad reputation, but sometimes it is worthy.

My husband and I often talk about nothing. I mean, no real topic. He has this way of making the most mundane things funny, and I love that about him.

Sometimes stuff like "How was your day?" or "How was that (insert event/place) you were telling me about?" can lead to long conversations. Listening is a much under rated skill, paying attention to what she's saying and offering advice (when possible, in pauses, if she's having a problem) about the subject matter can really work well if she's ok talking. But remember, listening is a great thing that can be appreciated.

About the music, you can ask her if she has gone to see a band she likes recently (if she goes to live music gigs) but remember to say the name of the band.

About the movie question, that can be asked if she goes out with friends to see a movie but it changes to "Did you enjoy that movie you were talking about going to?".