Has any woman here experienced

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biostructure
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24 Nov 2010, 2:53 am

...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.



Chronos
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24 Nov 2010, 3:15 am

biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


No. However there are certainly women who are only attracted to a few guys but those guys either just consider her a friend or want nothing to do with her, and there are certainly women who are attracted to a large percentage of men but do not have relations with them for various reasons.

I do not really think there is much difference between your scenario and my first example because it boils down to the people you are attracted to not being attracted to you. Theonly difference is, if you are attracted to a large number of people you have greatly increased chances of one of those people being attracted to you.



nilescrane
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24 Nov 2010, 3:16 am

Bio, we talked about this...the man vs. woman thing isn't going to help you. We get it, women have an easier time finding a partner (maybe not the hunky guy she wants but a partner nonetheless.) Dwelling on that isn't going to help.



hale_bopp
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24 Nov 2010, 3:24 am

biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


Yes I've liked people who aren't interested in me or are only "friends" but no it did not cause frustration because I function fine without a partner or sex.

Sometimes I do get lonely but I tend to just bum around the house doing crafts or sleep when that happens.

You and many people on this forum are deluded that all women have to bat off guys all the time with baseball bats. It's not the reality. And the time that that happens they usually only want sex.



Chronos
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24 Nov 2010, 3:24 am

nilescrane wrote:
Bio, we talked about this...the man vs. woman thing isn't going to help you. We get it, women have an easier time finding a partner (maybe not the hunky guy she wants but a partner nonetheless.) Dwelling on that isn't going to help.


I will concede that women have an easier time finding a partner for sex, however that does not carry over to a committed relationship.



biostructure
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24 Nov 2010, 3:29 am

Chronos wrote:
biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


No. However there are certainly women who are only attracted to a few guys but those guys either just consider her a friend or want nothing to do with her, and there are certainly women who are attracted to a large percentage of men but do not have relations with them for various reasons.

I do not really think there is much difference between your scenario and my first example because it boils down to the people you are attracted to not being attracted to you. Theonly difference is, if you are attracted to a large number of people you have greatly increased chances of one of those people being attracted to you.


That last sentence is true for women, but not really for men, and especially not for men who aren't seeking commitment.



nilescrane
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24 Nov 2010, 3:29 am

Women can also find a boyfriend...like I said, maybe not a desirable boyfriend...but plenty of guys would go out with women with no sex involved...women just don't find them attractive for whatever reason, and have every right not to find them attractive.



Last edited by nilescrane on 24 Nov 2010, 3:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

nilescrane
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24 Nov 2010, 3:37 am

biostructure wrote:
Chronos wrote:
biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


No. However there are certainly women who are only attracted to a few guys but those guys either just consider her a friend or want nothing to do with her, and there are certainly women who are attracted to a large percentage of men but do not have relations with them for various reasons.

I do not really think there is much difference between your scenario and my first example because it boils down to the people you are attracted to not being attracted to you. Theonly difference is, if you are attracted to a large number of people you have greatly increased chances of one of those people being attracted to you.


That last sentence is true for women, but not really for men, and especially not for men who aren't seeking commitment.


Bio, we've talked about this. What do you have to offer a woman in return for casual sex? Women aren't going to have sex with you just because you're a male with a pulse. If a woman has casual sex, it's her choice and her choice only, and she chooses who she has sex with.



biostructure
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24 Nov 2010, 3:46 am

And as for the last post by "nilescrane", I think it may just be that men and women tend to have different ideas of what dating and relationships are. The "boyfriends" that you are referring to may seem like boyfriends to us, because they have an ongoing relationship with women that isn't just based on sex, but to the woman it may not be that way.

As I've said countless times before, I think the two sexes just tend to have different standards when defining most things. A man, whose requirements for sexual attraction barely exceed the requirements for him to go out for a cup of coffee with a woman, will unfortunately find that few women are the same way, and I sense that women who are upset with men "wanting more" are really upset with something that they are merely making up in their heads. Namely that the man expects that she like him with a degree of "specialness" that corresponds to what sexual or romantic attraction mean to her, and this contrasts with how average he seems to her. In other words, the criticism is always something along the lines that he shouldn't expect her to like her that much, whereas "that much" is not very much to him.



biostructure
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24 Nov 2010, 3:48 am

And nilescrane, I have heard your viewpoint countless times, and you don't need to repeat it.



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24 Nov 2010, 3:48 am

nilescrane wrote:
Women can also find a boyfriend...like I said, maybe not a desirable boyfriend...but plenty of guys would go out with women with no sex involved...women just don't find them attractive for whatever reason, and have every right not to find them attractive.


I agree with the latter half but I think the first half should be rephrased.

Instead of saying a women can find a boyfriend, perhaps it should be said, for every woman, there is a man, and possibly many men, who will date her.

But it's not true that the woman will find one of those men. She may not find them because there are very few of them and she never crosses paths with them, or in the case of women with AS and similar issues, social issue my prevent her from initiating or navigating a relationship.

Likewise, I think for most men, there is a woman, or even many women, who would be willing to date them. However for men with AS, I the second issue above largely comes into play.

It seems that many men with AS do not know how to approach a woman and do not know how to avoid the friend zone. These things can be learned though.



nilescrane
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24 Nov 2010, 3:49 am

Bio, you aren't making a lot of sense, and what good does the women-bashing do anyway? Is it any closer to getting you laid?

Have you looked into escorts like I suggested?



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24 Nov 2010, 4:19 am

biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


I'm romantically interested in most any woman who's nice to me but NO women are ever interested in being anything more than a friend with me(except maybe for an emotional tampon that they use to complain to about how the jerks they are with don't respect em). I'm unable to get any woman at all to give me a chance(unless homosexual guys who hit on me count) yet it seems like most every woman has guys interested in em but the women may not interested in those guys. Are there any women here who are not able to have a single guy interested in em even if the guys are creepy, perverted ect because NO women at all are interested in me


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lotusblossom
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24 Nov 2010, 4:31 am

I dont have a trouble with pulling. Ive had lots of people reject me but Im not fragile Im quite resiliant so it doenst crush me and I move on and ask someone else.

However I find it impossible to keep someone and find men cant accept me as I am and want to change me and leave when I cant change or try and 'bully' me into changeing.

Everyone thinks their own experience is worst, for example I often think to myself that I would rather have been an aspie virgin and have not had my heart broken when people left me or abused me, but that is because Ive not experienced never having had a relationship, likewise an aspie man who has not had a relationship does not know the pain of being heart broken when someone leaves him as he has not had a relationship.

I think the perspectives are too different for people with empathy and theory of mind problems to relate to each other. But that doesnt mean either has it worse or better, its not a competition, you dont get a prize if you win.



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24 Nov 2010, 4:41 am

nick007 wrote:
biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


I'm romantically interested in most any woman who's nice to me but NO women are ever interested in being anything more than a friend with me(except maybe for an emotional tampon that they use to complain to about how the jerks they are with don't respect em). I'm unable to get any woman at all to give me a chance(unless homosexual guys who hit on me count) yet it seems like most every woman has guys interested in em but the women may not interested in those guys. Are there any women here who are not able to have a single guy interested in em even if the guys are creepy, perverted ect because NO women at all are interested in me


Honestly you really wouldn't want a creepy, perverted (or female equivalent of) woman interested in you. It is not fun to have someone you are NOT attracted to, and don't want anything to do with pursuing you. It is not a good thing.



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24 Nov 2010, 4:44 am

Chronos wrote:
nick007 wrote:
biostructure wrote:
...a pattern in her life where she is sexually or romantically attracted to a majority of the men who show any interest in her, yet the guys all see her as no more than a friend, and this causes frustration? Women seem to complain endlessly when men report their lives following such a pattern, but I think this is partly because almost no woman is ever in that position. Though I'm welcome to be proven wrong.


I'm romantically interested in most any woman who's nice to me but NO women are ever interested in being anything more than a friend with me(except maybe for an emotional tampon that they use to complain to about how the jerks they are with don't respect em). I'm unable to get any woman at all to give me a chance(unless homosexual guys who hit on me count) yet it seems like most every woman has guys interested in em but the women may not interested in those guys. Are there any women here who are not able to have a single guy interested in em even if the guys are creepy, perverted ect because NO women at all are interested in me


Honestly you really wouldn't want a creepy, perverted (or female equivalent of) woman interested in you. It is not fun to have someone you are NOT attracted to, and don't want anything to do with pursuing you. It is not a good thing.


It'll be better than turning gay because no women on this planet will ever give me a chance. Only way I might could get a woman would be if I move to a country that has arranged marriages


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