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emily77
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21 Nov 2010, 10:15 am

Hi!
I'm new and I hoped that someone could help me with a particular problem.

About a year ago I fell in love with a boy from my school. I tried to flirt with him but I got very confused, because I couldn't understand whether he liked me (he shows very little emotions with his face) and he often got nervous when I tried to have a longer conversation and he went away.

I recently accidently found out that he has Aperger's (it isn't public, it slipped to someone who was not supposed to tell). It mad things clearer for me, but I still don't know what to do. I like him very much, but I don't know whether he likes me. He would sometimes come around and ask me something or even go on with a conversation we had days ago. But on the other hand he would occasionaly avoid me and I sometimes have this feeling that I annoy him and that he doesn't want to have nothing to do with me.

As it's been quite a long time since I have first tried to flirt with him and I made no progress since then, I don't know how to let him know that I like him without being too agressive. I'm afraid that he doesn't feel the same way and that it will make things awkward and that I will scare him.
It seems that he feels much better with other people than me. I'm quite shy, so I'm afraid to just tell him that I like him or openly invite him to a date.

What can I do to make him comfortable around me?
What is still acceptable to do without invading his personal space?
I guess I shouldn't tell him that I know about AS, as it wasn't his choice to tell me?

I hope someone will have an advice for me, because I really like him and I just don't want to give up and I hate myself making him feel nervous and stressed.



Quartz11
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21 Nov 2010, 10:58 am

Flirting subtly isn't going to help your case, as he'll probably miss the signal.

It is also possible that because he fails to know many social rules - he will talk to you but then back off a while because he is not sure when and how much it's appropriate to talk to someone.


If you want to really do something, you will have to overcome your shyness and tell him you have interest, or explicitly ask him what his feelings are towards you. If you can't do it, have some friend or mutual friend do it. But you'll probably have to initiate this one yourself.



Kilroy
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21 Nov 2010, 11:11 am

for me if someone I like doesn't talk to me for awhile, I see it as a hint that I either missed my chance or she doesn't like me so I lose all interest and move on
I am not bad with girls I just get into really bad situations, say if I asked one out in my current situation, and she said no, then I could be tossed out of the community for being, well creepy (and I am the only guy there so I am always walking on eggshells so to speak)

to me it just sounds like he doesn't know if you like him and just wants to be around you as much as he feels you'd want him to (as he seems not to know)
just tell him, a lot of crap will be avoided if you do, trust me.
i do agree with the fact things get very confusing cause no one wants to just tell anyone