Need Advice about Aspie Guy

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Ok so I met this aspie guy off the internet and the interesting thing is I didnt even know he was aspie at the time, Aspergers only came up later surprisingly. We got to know each other online for a bit and one our first date, he asked me if I wanted to try a relationship and I said no, wayyy too soon. I continued to hangout with him and then again he asked, "so were seeing each other" I told him "no" then again too soon to determine. Then later I clearly explained to him that I didnt wanna date him and I was very very clear about why. Then I continued to hang with him. See we only see each other once every 1-2 weeks. About 3 weeks later, I stayed over at his house, (which I'll admit was very stupid of me) and he kept trying to push himself on me, he was trying to cuddly and I was like, "no" and I told him to respect my space and he was just like, "I just wanted to try to see if it feels right", I explained to him why he should respect my space. Then the next day, the subject of being in a relationship came up again. I told him that I didnt wanna be in a relationship because he was despirate and insecure.

About the insecurity issue, hes discussed with me some significant detail about bad times in his past. The way he discussed it indicated that he was still insecure about it. He kept trying to convince me that he wasnt, he still wanted to get into a relationship with me. I could see that it was still an issue and I explained my ass off with this one. So after this: I was came back slightly fed up but I wasnt too bothered. But then he had a formspring where a person could ask questions about him and he gave some answers. So I looked at it and he had put some sexist, jerkish remarks. And I didnt even see him as a jerk in the 1st place. So this just blew me over the edge. To me it just reflected how badly he was trying to portray himself to me. The thing is: I hate fakeness.

Sometimes guys will purposely skew things to impress a girl. To me I felt like he was trying to do that but failing cause I could eventually see right thru him. So I just went after him for those comments. And he later sends me a message saying how he didnt want me to be mad at him and that hes "changed" then again and he was going to finally recognize that we were just friends. I was still mad so I just sent him this really long message saying what I thought about everything and I'll admit, it was friggin harsh. Then also I had made tentitive plans to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family because my family isnt here(im in college out of state). I withdrew those plans because I didnt wanna send anymore mixed messages to him. Afterall actions speak louder then words. I took into consideration that I was sending mixed messages to him this entire time. He still wanted me to come even tho he claims it was very clear that were just friends.

After that huge harsh message, I was starting to think, maybe Im being too harsh. I recognize and relate(to some extent) what hes going thru. Ive made some of the same mistakes he has, were both aspie afterall. I've pushed people to the edge before trying to get what I want, I learned to stop doing that after the adverse consequences. Ive revealed my insecurities freely too. But on the other hand I did fully recognize that I wasnt secure. I learned to stop spilling all my securities to anyone within a earshot. Then my friend made me realize that some of the sexist remarks were made out of the fustrations of girls, which I couldnt understand very well. But on the otherhand, I just feel fustrated and I really dont know what to do. I didnt wanna hurt him as much as I probably did. But the fact that he was trying to hard and somewhat lying is what really got to me. Im really caught in being fustrated vs. showing understanding for him as a fellow aspie.

btw: he can read this, oh well need some advice here cause i dont trust my own judgement with this 1.

To be fair, you shouldn't have slept over. That is giving a very clear message and i'm not surprised he was confused.
He sounds like some of the sexist guys on here, I wouldn't date someone like that who is sexist secretly, but each to their own.

If you don't like him try and hang around him less. Otherwise its very easy to get mixed messages.

I don't know what you said exactly and I don't know what you did, but in my book, if you repeatedly tell someone you aren't interested in having a relationship with them and they keep trying to force it on you, then they are the one's in the wrong and honestly, I don't see a reason why you should continue to afford them your civility, seeing as they are not greatful of the fact that you are trying to be civil and respect their feelings.

And honestly, I don't think having AS is an excuse for his actions...plenty of NT people do this too.

Anyways I dont really need advice anymore because I've officially deemed this guy as a jerk. This is what he put on his fb status: "Never date an aspie girl ever....good grief". Its like no friggin girl would want u after u friggin pushed and pushed so hard cause u cant stand rejection. He tried too hard, faked his way in trying to impress me, and has a thousand insercurities down to the bone. He was trying sooo hard....when Id state my reasons why i didnt want him, he'd try to prove that he wasnt that way. So I wasnt planning to be mean to him anymore but...we'll see...

Forget him. Sexist jerks are a waste of time.

Well, I don't know if he is a jerk or not, but I do know that he is being selfish and probably doesn't realize it. But hey, it's a lot easier to be unselfish with girls when you have friends who can support you if things don't work out. If you were all he had, I don't blame him for acting that way. I don't agree with his actions, but I don't blame him for being that way. I used to be that way with girls, but I'm not now, and the difference is my confidence and support. Now, I wasn't mean and hateful over the Internet or in person or anywhere, but I had similar issues to his misunderstandings of signals.

oh come on!
I have a female friend stay over and she's not interested in me (nor did I ever think she was-we have a cousin/sibling relationship, cause I don't have much family)
I never thought if a girl stayed over sleeping on the couch she liked you
maybe if she wanted your bed and you sleep on the couch...or she hates the couch lol
oh and ricky5, nice support there

yeah that would have made you look less like a s**t head

I didn't know anyone needed advice about me

Ok this is seriously a waste of time and immature of me to do but i wanna vent and I got no one to friggin vent to. And no its not cause I dont have friends, its cause im not close enough to anyone and I dont wanna take advantage of anyone k.

Heres one of his messages and heres my response.

"But what fakeness? Yes, I'm insecure, I'm a jerk, I'm an as*hole, and I have A LOT of anger issues against women! So what?? What else about me that upsets you that see as "fakeness"? Of course I'm gonna act a certain way to get you to like me. EVERYONE DOES THAT! It's called Self-Confidence. It's the power of moving on from the past into something new. Maybe you could understand me better if you had some self-confidence of your own..."

You call this self-confidence? Pretending to be into something just because I was into it? Yes I realize a lotta people do act this way to get people to like them? Does it mean its right? Pretending to impress a girl. In my book...no! Lets say u actually do get the girl but then ur real side is gonna come out eventually right. What if she doesnt like ur real side? Then thats the end of that relationship. Your attempts were simply pointless and causes more pain on yourself. And yeah i dont got much self-confidence but I know what self-confidence is. But acting a certain way thats not yourself is not self-confidence. Your too friggin insecure with yourself to show your real self ehh?

"See, this is why you are way too judgmental! Who are you to judge me as fake, when I clearly haven't even been given a chance to explain a certain part about myself? You can't go around doing that to people Lindsey! You'll just end up pissing everyone off, and"

So this is what you meant by judgemental? Uhh...I friggin gave u a chance. And unfortunately u simply proved yourself to be an insecure jerk. I think we both have done plenty of explaining of each other. Due to your explaining, Ive came to certain conclusions and obviously you've came to certain conclusions of myself. Does it mean we both agree with the perceptions we have with each other. No. Does it mean Im saying your being judgmental of me? No. And Ive been constantly been giving u chance for friggin months even tho there were red flags when u asked me to be in a relationship after the 1st date. I still continued to hang with you even after I made the decision I didn't wanna be with u.

"then you'll wonder again why "no one likes you"."

Ohhh! u went there. And no this is not the reason why I wonder why people dont like me. That has more to do with peoples perceptions of me as an acquaintance. And you should speak for yourself, considering that you claim that a lot of people actually hate you. At least I dont go around having people hate me most of the time.

Just drop him like a bad habit. And this is coming from a male Aspie who has women problems - but my problems are more about initial attraction and going beyond 1st base. I think the first line of his message is a DEAD giveaway.

Christ, get rid of him, he's not worth getting all pent up over, just another insecure a***hole who cant get women.