is this guy a pedophile/loser?

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i don't think i'm as perceptive as most people so i'm wondering if anyone has any advice/insights regarding this guy.
i started talking to him on okcupid and he added me on facebook, but that's where i started really wondering if he might be a pedophile or just kind of anti-social (which is a completely different thing than being socially anxious)
he's 22 years old and his roommate is an 18 year old girl. he doesn't seem to have any real male friends except for this one guy. the rest of the people he talks to on facebook are all 16-19 year old females. I know this doesn't make him a "pedophile" per se, but it's a little bit creepy. I can tell that he likes this one girl who is 16 because he leaves links on her page/comments her stuff cooonstantly.
What is wrong with him? Does anyone see a pattern here or am I just paranoid?

I think you're paranoid.

22 really isn't that old. and 16 is legal in this country. If he was late 20s then it would be kind of pervy but i don't think 16 is pedophile territory.

I agree. Although I've run into my shares of pedos myself.

There was this one guy who had a thing for fictional (mostly cartoon) young girls, particularly when they wore swimsuits.

Correct. In fact most men throughout history would probably be labelled pedophiles today by the crazy puritan north americans due to their crazy religious heritage.

And I would be labelled as a pervert due to my feelings with my half sister.

I couldn't give a f**k.

You're not doing too poorly here.


Yes, exactly that: probably not a pedophile (but it really depends on where you are) but definitely creepy.


Although they're only 6 years apart, that's a world of difference when the ages are 16 and 22. She's a girl. He is (or should be, or should be turning into) a man. I don't know where you are, but in the U.S., age of consent varies by state. Most are 16, some states like New York (where I am) are 17, and some are 18. When I was in my early-20s, I had no interest in girls in their mid-teens. I had graduated from college and was working; they were still in high school studying algebra. C'mon...

agreed. not a pedo, but definitely creepy to me.

i dated some older guys when i was that age, and we really didn't have much in common. i was really naive, and so older guys had no trouble getting what they were seeking from me, and in my own personal experience it didn't involve much in the way of long-term relationships.

i have a male acquaintance who had his very first girlfriend when he was age 26. the girl was 16, and she was very experienced. they dated for 4 years, and they totally had her parents' blessing (even 5 years later he is still friends with her parents... which actually makes sense as he is almost as close to their age as to hers!). i find it all weird, especially since he was a supervisor at her work, though logically i know that there was probably nothing wrong with the relationship.

I do not think he is a pervert. I am 40 and I would have sex with an 18 year old woman and a 50 year old woman. If I am lucky the both of them at the same time. I had female friends that were in in their mid to late teens when I was in my 20's when I worked in a resteraunt and their fathers asked me to walk them home at the end of our shift from work since I was heading in the same direction as them and it was late at night. Their father's trusted me with their daughters virtue late at night so I guess I am not as creepy as I thought.

and how would you feel if someone made a similar assumption/judgement about you.

If anything you are the one that's being creepy here spying on someone you've never met in person and in truth don't know at all.

I think you are right to rely on your intuition with that guy--don't ignore it

I think you are overestimating the emotional maturity of most 22 year old men. In many respects, the difference between 16, and 22 for a guy is small, and the difference between the mentality of a 22 year old guy and 18 year old girl are non-existent with the exception that she might be more mature.

I wouldn't worry. I also think one shouldn't be charged with statutory rape if one person is over 18 but within 4 years of age of the other person.

What would be acceptable compatable dateing ages? I'd have to say no more than 5 years younger or 4 years older between the two people. For example I am 40 there for acceptable age ranges for me would be 35 - 44 years old. But I would not say no to a ages 23-34 if they really liked me would that make me creepy?

honestly, i don't know. my post wavered back and forth. i am 38 and if suddenly single i would seriously date someone in the age range of 21+. and that is a big gap. i was consider a guy who was 19 for something less serious. so i don't know. my perspective is messed up.

my test for what i consider creepy is legal age for voting. people under that age, but within a couple years of each other, is fine. over legal age is no-holds-barred - whatever ages want to date each other.

but my position is not based on anything solid.

16 and 22 isn't that far apart. Maybe if it was a 25 year old with a 16 year old, then it be creepy. Not pedo, just creepy. In some places it be legal but if the age of consent was 17 or 18, then it be.

Lot of people misuse the word pedophile. It means sexual attraction to pre puberty kids. Teens are past puberty or are going through it. But the online dictionary says young children and the other definition says children. Teen is still a child until they are 18. But I have to remember lot of people don't use dictionary definition of words when they talk. I am sure I misuse words too because I was using them the way they got used and it's obvious what the word means. I never bother looking up words I already know what they mean. I know I don't use stupid in a literal way nor dumb or idiot. To me they all mean the same thing but different wording. I'm used to using them the way they were used growing up.

In Florida there is a law that makes a sort of grey area between 16-24. To explain better if a 16 year old has sex with a 23 year old it's legal but if a 17 year old has sex with a 25 year old it's statutory rape or whatever.

And women asking questions like this and making these generalizations is why I can't stand women in general.

wtf, paedophile? Of course he isn't. A 16 year old isn't a pre pubescent child. I am 22 myself and wouldn't date a 16 year old personally, but 19? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't even call it creepy. Maybe the guy is creepy, but not for hanging out with 19 year old girls when he's 22.