Do you love me? Why do you love me?

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lissy983
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27 Nov 2010, 11:41 pm

I don't know if anyone else gets as annoyed with these question as I do. Maybe I don't express my feelings as much as I should or something. It just seems every relationship I have ever been in my partner develops this need to ask me these questions. "do you love me?"Yes, i do love you. "well, why do you love me" ~ this is where it goes down hill. I don't exactly keep a running list of things right at the tip of my tongue. I mean i fell in love obviously, you are still around because i care about you, you are interesting and funny. IDK~ is that what they want to hear? Or do they want details and what to sit waiting for me to come up with something... i'm not lying it takes me awhile to piece together words when it involves feeling "why did you fall in love" OMG leave me alone.



QuelOround
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28 Nov 2010, 12:50 am

I think they're looking for more than just shallow reasons, like their looks or their money. Most NTs want to hear that it's because she's smart, or funny, that they're sweet, and that when you wake up in the morning you can't think of anyone else but her. They want the reassurance that you want no one else but them. I know it seems redundant but that's the way NT's are.



hale_bopp
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28 Nov 2010, 2:08 am

Ive been asked that before then got told my answer wasnt good enough. I don't like being forced to answer stupid questions.



Kaybee
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28 Nov 2010, 2:50 am

Do you date women? One great thing about dating men: Fewer irritating questions.


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ToadOfSteel
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28 Nov 2010, 7:28 am

I'd more likely be the one asking those questions... because I want to be able to know why someone would love me like that. I've spent so long alone and rejected by the world itself that if, by some miracle, somebody showed up that wanted me, I'd be wondering what her angle was, because nobody else thought of me that way. But I wouldn't ask so bluntly in that case...



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28 Nov 2010, 7:52 am

Luckily I wasn't asked that question by a boyfriend, but a while ago an ex brother-in-law decided (during a Christmas party) to ask all of us to explain why we loved our wife/husband ... I was extremely annoyed by that question and while others started explaining "I like this about her", "this about him", etc, I said "I don't know why I love him exactly, I just love him because he's a great guy". When people ask that question they have nooooo idea how much you may have to analyse yourself, and your partner, to understand why you love each other.

Shadi


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superboyian
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28 Nov 2010, 10:26 am

These questions are now irrelevant to me now but I remember being asked that at one point by my ex.

- SBI. :(


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28 Nov 2010, 1:52 pm

They just want you to tell them good things about them. Maybe they don't know your reasons for hanging out with them. And people can grow complacent in relationships so just because you're around each other doesn't mean you're still in love. So sometimes maybe they're just checking. Other times it might be that they just need to hear romantic things.

Possible responses could be:

-because you're funny
-because you're kind to me
-because you're smart
-because I can be myself around you
-I like the way your hair falls across the pillow when you sleep
-because you're not afraid to do silly things
-because you like ninjas

Get it? :)



techstepgenr8tion
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28 Nov 2010, 2:42 pm

Here's a good answer:

Why do you love me?

- Because you ask me questions like that.



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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28 Nov 2010, 3:23 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Here's a good answer:

Why do you love me?

- Because you ask me questions like that.


I like that response. :)



Moog
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28 Nov 2010, 3:55 pm

I've always loved a (perhaps apocryphal) story about a guy who aced his philosophy exam by answering a 'why' question with "Why not?"... so I go with that.


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Last edited by Moog on 28 Nov 2010, 6:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kaybee
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28 Nov 2010, 6:16 pm

Moog wrote:
I've always loved a )perhaps apocryphal) story about a guy who aced his philosophy exam by answering a 'why' question with "Why not?"... so I go with that.


hah That sounds like a good way upset one's girlfriend.


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Moog
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28 Nov 2010, 6:40 pm

Kaybee wrote:
Moog wrote:
I've always loved a )perhaps apocryphal) story about a guy who aced his philosophy exam by answering a 'why' question with "Why not?"... so I go with that.


hah That sounds like a good way upset one's girlfriend.


I had to edit my parenthesis snafu... why? Why not?


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Shadi2
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28 Nov 2010, 6:51 pm

happymusic wrote:
They just want you to tell them good things about them. Maybe they don't know your reasons for hanging out with them. And people can grow complacent in relationships so just because you're around each other doesn't mean you're still in love. So sometimes maybe they're just checking. Other times it might be that they just need to hear romantic things.

Possible responses could be:

-because you're funny
-because you're kind to me
-because you're smart
-because I can be myself around you
-I like the way your hair falls across the pillow when you sleep
-because you're not afraid to do silly things
-because you like ninjas

Get it? :)


Their question should be "what do you like about me", this wouldn't be too difficult to answer, you can usually think of a few things you like about your partner or friend, but "why do you love me" is much deeper.

Maybe its just me but if someone asked what do you like about me I think it would be much easier to answer.

So next time someone asks the question "why do you love me/him" I guess I'll just take it as "what do you like about me".


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sluice
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28 Nov 2010, 11:47 pm

Cause you don't need constant reaffirmation of how I feel about you. You know I feel about you by the way I am around you and that is something you can't touch, analyze, or write a book report about.



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29 Nov 2010, 12:12 am

Do you love me? Why do you love me?

Yes, due to the fact I respect who you are, and wish to be a part of who you become.