The_waiting_room wrote:
If you meet/chat with another person for the first and from the beginning consider them a "dateable target" (because that's the point of the dating sites, right?)... I just don't see how that could work. To me, at least, it seems superficial as hell - "This is me. That is you. Are we content enough with each other to try our luck?" - it's like it's skipping a lot of the subtlety of slowly getting to know "that guy/girl".
I don't know. I guess I would probably feel that way if I tried using one of those pay sites...like "Hey, I want to get my money's worth, let's skip all the pretense."
But OkCupid I never took very seriously...I just filled out my profile as if it were any other "social-ish" I suppose kind of website, none of that mushy "I'm looking for this type of girl, blah blah, can't wait to hear from you!" So when girls did message me, I would just chat with them as if they were any other sort of random Internet stranger...some of them I still do chat with. Though I suppose it would be kind of awkward if a guy tried messaging me...but...I'm kind of at that point where I feel like I have enough male friends anyway and don't really need to add new ones.
But yeah, like others have said, it really is all down to LUCK (or fate, depending on how you look at it). Even looks don't really help...I've had girls message me and go "Oh, you're cute! ^_^" and then realize right away how awkward I am and stop talking to me after a few days
Or they get a boyfriend. Or they live too far away. Or they smoke. Or they're psychotic. Or whatever etc. etc.
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I'll brave the storm to come, for it surely looks like rain...