Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

I always want what I CAN'T have...

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Manders
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,180
Location: 6 Underground

06 Dec 2010, 1:28 am

It's whine time.

I've found myself in yet another hopeless case, too similar to every one in the past. I'm falling for someone with which things will never ever in a million years work out. Every single person I've had feelings for in my life has either been (1) out of my league, (2) taken, or (3) uninterested. It's a horrible cycle of fail. Anyone who ever approaches ME or is interested in ME, I always give a chance and try to get to know them (except in extreme circumstances, but it's rare I turn anyone down right away), but nothing ever develops on my end. Ever. So I lose interest and go back to being lonely. & longing for someone I can't have. It's not an issue of high standards, I just seem to always fall for the most awkward and wrong people.


Ehhhhhhh. I know there's no cure for this other than waiting it out. I'm just tired of this same pattern and being sad and pathetic. End mini-rant. For now.


_________________
Words are very unnecessary; they can only do harm... - Depeche Mode
"She never speaks, but when she does... it's profound." - Guy I know


Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

06 Dec 2010, 1:45 am

Manders wrote:
It's whine time.

I've found myself in yet another hopeless case, too similar to every one in the past. I'm falling for someone with which things will never ever in a million years work out. Every single person I've had feelings for in my life has either been (1) out of my league, (2) taken, or (3) uninterested. It's a horrible cycle of fail. Anyone who ever approaches ME or is interested in ME, I always give a chance and try to get to know them (except in extreme circumstances, but it's rare I turn anyone down right away), but nothing ever develops on my end. Ever. So I lose interest and go back to being lonely. & longing for someone I can't have. It's not an issue of high standards, I just seem to always fall for the most awkward and wrong people.


Ehhhhhhh. I know there's no cure for this other than waiting it out. I'm just tired of this same pattern and being sad and pathetic. End mini-rant. For now.


Do you want it because you can't have it or do you want it irregardless?



Manders
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,180
Location: 6 Underground

06 Dec 2010, 2:03 am

It's definitely not an 'I want it BECAUSE I can't have it' situation. I hate it. It just seems to always work out this way.


_________________
Words are very unnecessary; they can only do harm... - Depeche Mode
"She never speaks, but when she does... it's profound." - Guy I know


imzesok
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 7
Location: Michigan

06 Dec 2010, 4:59 am

Manders wrote:
It's whine time.

Every single person I've had feelings for in my life has either been (1) out of my league, (2) taken, or (3) uninterested. It's a horrible cycle of fail.


I know that feeling all too well. a couple times, however it's been all three situations at once for me. the nice thing about numbers 1&3: you can change those yourself :wink: Lack of interest and "out of my league", are merely states of mind. Naturally, solving the lack of interest problem is the harder issue to solve. The best advice i could possibly give you to navigate that one, is be their friend first, and it may turn into something more later. "Out of my league" is just you psyching yourself out. The only way to break that cycle is to step outside the usual comfort zone and approach these people. Even if it means minor embarrassment, from stammering, or what-not. they may find it cute, and ask you out anyway. For what it's worth...at least you HAVE people approaching you. 8)



Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

06 Dec 2010, 11:15 am

Well, the good news about someone being out of your league is that you can quit your league and join hers. Now, I'm not sure what league you are in, and what league she is in, but I think you need to do some traveling.

I too had this same problem when I was 20. Things started to change for me when I was 21, and I'm 22 now, and it's a lot easier for me to talk to girls...because I'm confident in who I am...because I know who I am and what I want. Think of how to rebuild a sports franchise, like the Detroit Lions, or the Baltimore Orioles. How would you do it? First thing you need is a plan, but one of the main things you need is someone, like a free agent, to help turn the culture of losing around into one of winning and positivity. So you need yourself a free agent...as in a friend. And once you have yourself someone to lean on if you need to, then it's time to figure out a direction. You need a direction! Structure. A daily routine. Something to work towards. THEN worry about women. Sounds tough, but it took me forever just to figure this out, much less get it done.