I think I figured out why it's hard for me to get a girl.

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I think it has primarily to do with my emotions. A couple of years ago I would say I had completely no hope of ever getting a girl. When I think about it now I understand that I was really aspie like in middle school. Now that I'm 21 I feel much more mature, I feel like I'm almost as normal as other people apart from a few quirks(probably because I have mild aspergers and have learned to adapt). I also feel a bit more confident and more careless. The one thing I'm still struggling with though are emotions, it's like I have a certain shyness that makes me not want to say how I feel. I can talk to girls and kinda flirt with them without them being creeped out but I'm unsure how to express that I like them. Like for example there was this girl a year or 2 ago that I wanted to hit on but seeing as I was completely oblivious about girls that might like me I wasn't sure what I should do. At the end of the night she put her hand on my chest and I kinda backed away and started looking away because I got really shy, I just didn't know what to do. I feel like this shyness has lessened a bit but I still have the problem. I also have difficulty expressing my emotions towards other people, friends, family, I'm very stoic. It's like I'm to shy to get serious. When I'm watching a movie or something with my friends I can laugh with them but I can't really get serious. If I wanted I could flirt with a girl I know but once it's time to get serious I would just back away.

Anybody have any thoughts about this?

i have this problem. it's a bugger. i suppose the best thing to do is keep flirting and flirting. you can get away with inviting a girl to a gathering with you mates without it being perceived as forward. then from that point on i suppose you could away with inviting them somewhere with just yourself

I don't know, i've been single for ages so i'm the wrong person to comment

Yeah, I have this same problem you describe. But for me, its not so much a problem as...I just don't want a relationship, and I've finally admitted that to myself. I know that once sex is introduced, then whether I like it or not, official or unofficial, we are dating, and that's that.

Shyness used to be my big problem too. It takes time and company of good people to over come it. I still am conscious about myself though.

Girls are "hard wired" down to the cellular level to seek a strong male who can protect them and their children and bring meat back to the cave.

This worked for thousands of generations of cave men.

But this means that today girls can be still attracted to "bad guys" like drug dealers and Hell's Angles when their real chance of long term support is to marry a mild mannered accountant with a secure job.

I don't really see what bad boys have to do with this?

Yeah I guess but I'm not trying to compare myself to other people, this is a personal problem that I have.

I tend not to care enough about stuff like that anymore
men here seem really to want a girlfriend for social standing, and I freely admit I did too
not anymore, due to the fact I don't really give a s**t about impressing anyone anymore

everything I say has more then one meaning, you just have to think about it to see

You might want to consider whether the shyness you describe around women is love-shyness.

Wombat's comments about "bad boys" and women's biological attraction to them are spot on.

im kinda in the same boat. i also have difficulty expressing my emotions, and it's affecting my relationships. my dad complained recently about my hard exterior. i know what you mean bout the laughing at a movie but not gettin serious...i guess i just don't trust other people with the knowledge of how they affect me

I think the big problem is that I don't feel right showing myself in a vulnerable position, I'm guessing it's something a lot of aspies have to deal with.

probably