Letsgoblues latest thread - formerly Pressure to have a rela

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Deinonychus
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02 Jan 2005, 11:51 pm

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
I think it's likely best to leave her alone for a while LGB, and let her decide if she wants to pursue a friendship further. Cars don't impress all women. Nor do guys that won't leave them alone.


Well Mish I called her the other day on her cell and she was polite and said she would talk to me at work. So today I went up and said hi and all and said when is a better time to call you and plan on doing something. She said something like this "Stop it, dont call me again Tom" I mean she was always polite until then. I was always nice to her and when she said that my feeling were really hurt. I mean I went thru all that worrying to ask her out and grew the grapefruits to do it and then it gets thrown back into my face. I can see how people with ADD, AS and other problems feel hurt. :x :cry: I guess I'll always be single. Im glad I worked at returns today cause I would not have been able to upfront with her cause I was so angry I would have asked to go home sick cause I would need to cool down. I didnt talk to her the rest of the day.


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03 Jan 2005, 1:34 am

You want to hear pathetic? I have a 1987 VW Jetta Diesel and a 1997 Acura Integra. When I drive the Integra girls smile and look at me more. When I drive the Jetta they frown at me. The world is a messed up place!

I am trying some new angles lately. One is that I have a couple friends with girlfriends and they offered for me to meet some of their friends.
One of them was single and in the dumps for 4 years and his last relationship was crap too, like mine. His GF is awesome and she was hanging out with all our "nerd" clan and fit rght in.

My other option is getting out to the city more where there are more diverse people. If I do get a lead on a girl I have ZERO expectations of anything happening. Most of the time they end up at least a friend. Many times I have been the one disapproving of them and not the other way around. At one time I would have tried anything to "get on" any girl that I was physically attracted to. Now, it's mind over matter and my expectations of being friends is stronger than the sex thing.

LGB, I think you were running after a snob that wants a shallow actor with a number on his back. I despised those people most of my life. At one very brief moment I thought they were truly beautiful people until I realized how ugly they are inside.

PS. I wouldn't be in agreement if LGB's last post was removed. This is on topic and isn't harmful as far as I can see. It's normal and lots of us have been in the same boat.



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03 Jan 2005, 2:04 am

Absolute_Zero wrote:
You want to hear pathetic? I have a 1987 VW Jetta Diesel and a 1997 Acura Integra. When I drive the Integra girls smile and look at me more. When I drive the Jetta they frown at me. The world is a messed up place!

I am trying some new angles lately. One is that I have a couple friends with girlfriends and they offered for me to meet some of their friends.
One of them was single and in the dumps for 4 years and his last relationship was crap too, like mine. His GF is awesome and she was hanging out with all our "nerd" clan and fit rght in.

My other option is getting out to the city more where there are more diverse people. If I do get a lead on a girl I have ZERO expectations of anything happening. Most of the time they end up at least a friend. Many times I have been the one disapproving of them and not the other way around. At one time I would have tried anything to "get on" any girl that I was physically attracted to. Now, it's mind over matter and my expectations of being friends is stronger than the sex thing.

LGB, I think you were running after a snob that wants a shallow actor with a number on his back. I despised those people most of my life. At one very brief moment I thought they were truly beautiful people until I realized how ugly they are inside.

PS. I wouldn't be in agreement if LGB's last post was removed. This is on topic and isn't harmful as far as I can see. It's normal and lots of us have been in the same boat.


Hmm. She doesnt seem to be a snob cause shes polite, but she is a starting soccer goalie for her college so Im sure shes around the male athletes more. You might be right though in a way.


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03 Jan 2005, 7:39 am

You deserved everything you got. We gave you advice, you didn't take it. I completley understand how she feels, and she absolutley has a right to feel like that.

You completley invaded her privacy by calling her on a number she didn't give you or want you to have.

You're stalking her, stop it.

You're lucky she's so polite if someone was doing that to me they'd be told alot more bluntly.

I think accusing her of being a shallow snob is just utterly generalising and mean, his behaviour towards her is enough to put anyone off.



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03 Jan 2005, 9:20 am

#1, ZERO or low expectations, it's a win-win situation. Just be sure to tell when your expectaions are met. Most often in one way or another they will be exceeded.



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03 Jan 2005, 9:39 am

I have split this thread from 'pressure to find a relationship' as it has turned into another LGB thread. LGB - please restrict your chatter about this subject to this thread - and lets all try to keep it civil. Please can anyone who chooses to reply please bear in mind that LGB is not obliged to take any advice you offer him. Thanks

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03 Jan 2005, 12:18 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
You deserved everything you got. We gave you advice, you didn't take it. I completley understand how she feels, and she absolutley has a right to feel like that.

You completley invaded her privacy by calling her on a number she didn't give you or want you to have.

You're stalking her, stop it.

You're lucky she's so polite if someone was doing that to me they'd be told alot more bluntly.

I think accusing her of being a shallow snob is just utterly generalising and mean, his behaviour towards her is enough to put anyone off.


Imean I gave her my number I expected her to return the favor and give me hers.


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03 Jan 2005, 1:03 pm

You can have expectations but you have to understand that they aren't always going to be met by others just because you expect them. That's just part of life, people have their own free will to do as they feel comfortable with, apparently she didn't feel comfortable with you constantly talking to her after she said you were being pushy. We all gave you advice on this and told you to leave her alone for a while but you didn't listen. It could have been avoided and gone for the better if you had taken the advice to leave her alone for a bit, let her take the initiative if she wanted to get to know you without you giving the impression to her of being pushy which is what she got from it and didn't like it. Please just leave her alone from now on and if she speaks to you, then fine, but I wouldn't press any further on this especially at work if you want to keep your job.



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03 Jan 2005, 2:13 pm

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
You can have expectations but you have to understand that they aren't always going to be met by others just because you expect them. That's just part of life, people have their own free will to do as they feel comfortable with, apparently she didn't feel comfortable with you constantly talking to her after she said you were being pushy. We all gave you advice on this and told you to leave her alone for a while but you didn't listen. It could have been avoided and gone for the better if you had taken the advice to leave her alone for a bit, let her take the initiative if she wanted to get to know you without you giving the impression to her of being pushy which is what she got from it and didn't like it. Please just leave her alone from now on and if she speaks to you, then fine, but I wouldn't press any further on this especially at work if you want to keep your job.


Since she was mean to me Mish at work yesterday when I see her at work this weekend should I just not say anything to her when she walks by me, and keep my head down? That way she will know I feel hurt.


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MishLuvsHer2Boys
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03 Jan 2005, 2:33 pm

Well with you having pressed things with her against her wishes, I somehow doubt she will really care if you're hurt. I'm sorry to say that but you did go against what she asked. Go on with life, leave her alone. Consider it a lesson learned. If you do continue to speak to her and such she could complain to your boss and have you fired for harrassment and likely that isn't what you'd like, so it's better to go about as apparently she wishes you to do so and to leave her alone period. And hiring a lawyer and trying to sue, likely won't help you as you were the one that would be viewed as committing harrassment, not her.



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03 Jan 2005, 3:33 pm

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
Well with you having pressed things with her against her wishes, I somehow doubt she will really care if you're hurt. I'm sorry to say that but you did go against what she asked. Go on with life, leave her alone. Consider it a lesson learned. If you do continue to speak to her and such she could complain to your boss and have you fired for harrassment and likely that isn't what you'd like, so it's better to go about as apparently she wishes you to do so and to leave her alone period. And hiring a lawyer and trying to sue, likely won't help you as you were the one that would be viewed as committing harrassment, not her.


Also if I got fired could she sue me for harassment? Also if I called her again could she file a police report? In Missouri if you call someone 4 times after they tell you to stop its a crime I think.


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03 Jan 2005, 4:02 pm

This is my first post on this board and I have been following LetsGoBlues thread. If a girl does not give you her number, do not call them. Calling that girl was an invasion of her privacy. The girl is probably getting freaked out by your advances. I read the posts and people tried to tell you what would happen if you did this and you did not listen.



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03 Jan 2005, 5:49 pm

JShierl wrote:
This is my first post on this board and I have been following LetsGoBlues thread. If a girl does not give you her number, do not call them. Calling that girl was an invasion of her privacy. The girl is probably getting freaked out by your advances. I read the posts and people tried to tell you what would happen if you did this and you did not listen.


So other words the excuse she used like "I'll call you" and I'm busy were hints shy was trying to let me down easy maybe cause she didnt want to hurt my feelings? I mean I told her she could call me and I told her if she promises and she said promise of course she didnt.


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03 Jan 2005, 6:08 pm

duncvis wrote:
Please can anyone who chooses to reply please bear in mind that LGB is not obliged to take any advice you offer him. Thanks

Dunc


Yeah, that's fair enough, but If he isn't even going to take it into consideration, I don't want to hear him complaining about it on here.

Fair enough if he doesn't ask for advice, but he did.

Quote:
So other words the excuse she used like "I'll call you" and I'm busy were hints shy was trying to let me down easy maybe cause she didnt want to hurt my feelings? I mean I told her she could call me and I told her if she promises and she said promise of course she didnt.


No, not always. People don't like being forced into doing something, it would have been best if you let her do it in her own time. I think if you had reminded her about it in a week or so if she hadn't called it would be considered perfectly fair and normal.

But I think you pushed things too fast, and it freaked her out. I don't think she wants a relationship, but I must admit if it was an excuse for her to use, it wasn't a very good one, as it leads to confusion.



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03 Jan 2005, 6:36 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
duncvis wrote:
Please can anyone who chooses to reply please bear in mind that LGB is not obliged to take any advice you offer him. Thanks

Dunc


Yeah, that's fair enough, but If he isn't even going to take it into consideration, I don't want to hear him complaining about it on here.

Fair enough if he doesn't ask for advice, but he did.

Quote:
So other words the excuse she used like "I'll call you" and I'm busy were hints shy was trying to let me down easy maybe cause she didnt want to hurt my feelings? I mean I told her she could call me and I told her if she promises and she said promise of course she didnt.


No, not always. People don't like being forced into doing something, it would have been best if you let her do it in her own time. I think if you had reminded her about it in a week or so if she hadn't called it would be considered perfectly fair and normal.

But I think you pushed things too fast, and it freaked her out. I don't think she wants a relationship, but I must admit if it was an excuse for her to use, it wasn't a very good one, as it leads to confusion.


True. Like when I talked to her before she would always say she would call me. Like last week I talked to her and asked her where she likes to go she just smiled and said "I dont know" I told her I like her and that I think shes really cute looking and she smiled at me and said thanks. I thought that was a plus and all. :oops:


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03 Jan 2005, 6:48 pm

Simply stated, leave her alone if you don't want to risk getting fired from your job, in trouble with the law and be considered a stalker and that isn't something most women like.