Can you rent a girlfriend?

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Joined: 15 Oct 2009
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19 Dec 2010, 11:50 am

No, I'm not talking about a prostitute (mechanical sex is depressing) and I'm not talking about an "escort" (I can get those for free).

I'm talking about someone who kisses back when you kiss them, who hugs you like they don't ever want to stop, and holds your hand like they actually want to.

My latest kiss was DOA, I feel like a necrophiliac. I still shudder a little when I think about it, she didn't pull away or slap me but I wish she would have because at least I would feel like I aroused some sort of feeling in the opposite sex.

I'm totally losing what little confidence I had, and I feel like maybe it would help if I could at least experience what mutual attraction feels like, I can't even imagine it any more.

Maybe I could hire a prostitute and tell them I don't need sex, just pretend that you like me?

Sorry for the rant...

ApsieGuy
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19 Dec 2010, 12:09 pm

Grisha wrote:

Why are you having this much trouble? It really doesn't add up........

I think maybe you should set the bar a little lower man. Why not be willing to give up a quality in a women(appearance,intellect) in order to find a women. Like why not ask that good looking waitress at the bar out?

alicedress
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19 Dec 2010, 12:31 pm

Well, actually, that does sound like an escort. :lol:

Grisha
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19 Dec 2010, 12:32 pm

Yes, the old "lower your standards" strategy.

I never understood this.

First of all it suggests that there is a hierarchy of people which does not exist, "change your criteria" is much more appropriate.

Second of all, I don't really have a set of fixed criteria, the only real "red flags" for me are signs of underlying psychological problems (untreated bipolar, substance abuse,etc) - as long as they are the correct gender and meet a very lenient standard of physical attractiveness I am very willing to date them to see what develops.

Also, what about the person you are "lowering your standards" for, aren't the just settling for whomever would have them rather than someone they really prefer?

I'm sorry, the whole premise is on very shaky ground, but I do appreciate the advice...

Grisha
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19 Dec 2010, 12:50 pm

alicedress wrote:

Well, actually, that does sound like an escort. :lol:

Escorts just hang on your arm to "impress" people at the company Xmas party and the like.

I just thought it would be therapeutic if there was something in between: more intimate/affectionate than an escort, but without the soul-less sex you get with a prostitute.

I just want to know what it feels like to be with someone who is actually attracted to you, I can't even remember and it's kind of scary...

ApsieGuy
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19 Dec 2010, 2:12 pm

Grisha wrote:

It's fine. Quite honestly, I am disapointed a good looking aspie with money is having trouble dating though. This doesn't give me much hope for the future as aregular looking, bodybuilding aspie working on a business degree(potentially worse career than you have now especially for an aspie).

mv
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19 Dec 2010, 2:43 pm

I think what you're describing is a prostitute that specializes in (or offers) GFE, girl friend experience.

Grisha
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19 Dec 2010, 2:46 pm

Quote:

There's always hope, even I have that (though sometimes I have more of it than others)

It just goes to show you that having a little going for you aesthetically and economically is WAY over-rated in terms of having success romantically. It doesn't hurt, but it is FAR from being a guarantee.

In my view the real problem is that NT women mostly want what AS men don't have, or at least appear not to have at first sight.

The closest word I can think of to describe it is "charm"

An "ordinary" guy can have tons of it and have women all over him, even if he's not all that good looking or materially well off.

I really wish I could figure out how to have some of that, because the "classic" stuff (looks/wealth) isn't worth sh*t in reality...

Grisha
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19 Dec 2010, 2:51 pm

mv wrote:

I think what you're describing is a prostitute that specializes in (or offers) GFE, girl friend experience.

Sorry, I'm not an expert in the subject, there really is such a thing as GFE?

Chronos
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19 Dec 2010, 3:05 pm

Grisha wrote:

I think prostitutes probably prefer jobs where they don't have to have sex. However this love you are seeking would not be real love.

mv
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19 Dec 2010, 3:05 pm

Grisha wrote:

mv wrote:

I think what you're describing is a prostitute that specializes in (or offers) GFE, girl friend experience.

Sorry, I'm not an expert in the subject, there really is such a thing as GFE?

Yep, it's actually a thing. I've perused Craig's List a time or two (I'm a serial voyeur/lurker), and a lot of guys on there specifically look for "GFE." I was curious, so I looked it up. It's one of those personal ad abbreviations, like "NSA" or "FWB."

Oh, and I agree with you on aesthetics and financial success being no guarantee. I've been lucky to have both, and I also completely lack "charm" unless I'm purposely acting (which women are expected to do, to some extent, anyway). Plus, I just don't care anymore so I refuse to do it! (And it's exhausting)

Nambo
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19 Dec 2010, 3:16 pm

Are you good at football?
You could become rich and then you could rent a girlfriend with your money like all the footballers do.

Grisha
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19 Dec 2010, 3:40 pm

Quote:

I think prostitutes probably prefer jobs where they don't have to have sex. However this love you are seeking would not be real love.

Of course not, I wasn't really serious about doing this, I just thought that maybe I found something in the world that wasn't for sale, turns out you can buy it on Craigslist just like a used refrigerator.

For some reason my latest romantic failure made me realize that I don't even remember what it's like to be with a woman who is attracted to me, it's kind of like dying a little bit. I wouldn't do it myself, but I can see why someone would want to pay to get it back...

Chronos
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19 Dec 2010, 3:56 pm

Grisha wrote:

Quote:

I think prostitutes probably prefer jobs where they don't have to have sex. However this love you are seeking would not be real love.

I still maintain that part of the problem is the type of people the city attracts. I would bet you $100 that if you lived some place else, especially some place out of California, you would find someone.

Grisha
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19 Dec 2010, 4:11 pm

Chronos wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Quote:

I think prostitutes probably prefer jobs where they don't have to have sex. However this love you are seeking would not be real love.

Where though?

According to OKC I should be in a "blue" state metro area, or at least a college town in a "red" state. In so Cal my matches center around metro LA and I'm moving to the Hollywood area in the next month or two (the lease on my current apt is up this month).

Maybe not better, but it will certainly be different, as well as more tolerant of people who are different...

ApsieGuy
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19 Dec 2010, 4:30 pm

Grisha wrote:

Quote:

Well, I think women expect a guy who is DECENTLY financially well off. So, don't dis-credit that completely. I think looks would hold a bit more weight when it comes to qualifications. I guess it's dependent on whether the women makes money of her own. If she does, why would she need your money? Also, whether she wants kids is a factor. However, women your age probably aren't considering that.

I guess personality is a big thing for guys which a lot of aspies lack sadly

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