Girls - who would you choose?

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Guy A

Guy A is 22 and lives in an urban area. Let's say this is somewhere in Texas or somewhere like that. He's a big guy, heavily built with a muscular figure - above average in weight but that's because of muscle, not fat. His hair is short and shaved, he has a moustache and beard, a lot of tattoos and several piercings in his nose, ears and lips. He's an alpha male who likes typical alpha male activities, including motorbiking, weight training, football/soccer/whatever sport's popular where he lives, and heavy drinking with similarly tough guys down the bar. He didn't go on to higher education, and has started work as a salesman in a motorcycle dealership.

He is heterosexual. Extroverted, very social, has a wide social circle and a dry sense of humour. Some might call him a "meathead". Indeed he has a minor criminal history because of one or two assault convictions, and he also smokes a lot of marijuana. Growing up, he was known to intimidate weaker boys at school. When you get to know him through his intimidating exterior, though, he is in fact very high on the empathy scale. Certainly, his social skills are a heck of a lot better than Guy B's. No problem winning over girls but a bit of a player.

Guy B

Guy B is 22 and lives in a major city where he has just graduated from university with a bachelor's degree. He has gone on to start work in a small startup business. He has undiagnosed Asperger's, but is also introverted and shy - indeed, love-shy. This makes it difficult for him to approach women and he has virtually no relationship history. He is average in stature, body type and looks, but has few friends. He's very quickly found that in his job, he has a narcissistic boss who coerces him to work all the hours God sends. Outside work, he's a computer geek, and goes out (alone) to bars and clubs at the weekend trying but practically failing to meet women.

He is agnostic, but morally conservative. He drinks socially but doesn't do drugs. But he's essentially socialist in the way he thinks about human relationships, valuing equality and fairness between people. He has a very conservative clothing and hair style. He's heterosexual, but because of his lack of opposite sex relationships he's vulnerable to getting accused of being effeminate or gay - some might call him a "p****". He would however like a monogamous relationship and loyally commit to one partner.

Any other questions about Guy A or B, please don't hesitate to ask.

Things in life are not this black and white for women and relationships. Life is far more complex. The guy who was a musclebound jerk in high school may have matured as an adult, while the AS guy may still be thinking in social construct of earlier in life.
I will be honest a muscle bound guy who was close to 7 feet high protected me in HS, and sexual harassment and assualt promptly stopped for the remainder of my HS years. AS men tend to view these things in black and white terms, the truth is reality is far more complex than one or two choices.

Guy #2 was sounding really great,
but I don't get along with "moral conservatives".

Even if I could look past that, I doubt he'd like me.

No doubt. I'm a straight dude and as such probably shouldn't be posting in here anyway, but I feel justified in doing so because I read those descriptions and feel like I would be probably have a blast hanging out with either of those fellas.

At least the descriptions are reasonable and could be applied to a T to huge amounts of actually existing people...

Guy B. He sounds very similar to my bf in some ways (guess that makes me a bit biased).

Guy B just purely on the basis that he doesn't do drugs and isn't a 'meathead', and sounds quite pleasant.

Seriously? We're going to do this again?

Guy A has a lot of traits that I find annoying, but the description of Guy B makes me think he's a self-righteous prick who's secretly contemptuous of a lot of people.

Also, they're both 22. What's up with that?

Neither. They both sound like people I would want to avoid very much.

Guy 1 has two assault convictions. The more time I spend with him, the more likely he is to punch me. So no.

Guy 2 is agnostic and morally conservative. I find that a gruesome combination. Even more off-putting than religious and morally conservative. It tells me that he'll be judgemental and close minded but instead of doing it because he thinks that's what God wants, he'll do it because he thinks he's better than other people. So no.


I van see you are trying to frame this as Bad Boy vs. Nice Guy but while #1 does qualify as Bad Boy (because of the two assault convictions), I have serious reservations about #2 being an actual nice guy.

They both look like a good argument for a glass of wine and a Mad Max marathon.

We posted at the same time! I wrote almost exactly the same thing. Guy#1 would hit me...dealbreaker. Guy#2 would sneer at me...also dealbreaker.

I agree with what Janissy said. So I'll choose my bf thanks. XD

Janissy, party at my house in five! Erisad, you come too, with bf! And menintights!

Er, I meant, +1.

guy B doesn't look too bad. he sounds interesting, though perhaps he could use some corruption... a roll in the hay, a few shots of whiskey and maybe a couple of tokes.... on a work night! but if he turned out to be incorruptible i would be very suspicious.

What if you had a guy B that was non-judgmental and knew how to have a little bit of fun every once in a while, but didnt want to drink for personal reasons (but didn't care if others around him drank or not)? Because that would be me, even down to the age and the "just graduated from university with a bachelor's degree"... oh, and I guess i'm a man of faith, but that's beside the point... I don't discriminate based on faith if you wont.

i don't discriminate based on faith, actually. i am an ethical atheist person (not exactly "moral"), and husband is theist/christian. and i didn't drink for over ten years, myself, and i don't currently engage in any illicit drugs.

but if a person didn't really ever lose control of themselves in any way - for example never having a drink, or never staying up all night, or never doing anything minimally illegal (or otherwise cutting loose), then i could not really relate to them and would feel a bit judged. i like it when people challenge themselves to try new things or challenge themselves to push their own boundaries.

but i do not think that my ideas fall within the norm, necessarily.

I wouldn't say that i'd feel judgmental just because I don't really let go that often. In fact, if anything I'm judging myself, and pushing myself to do more because I'd feel not good enough to do such things. I do enough stupid things without trying, I don't need to add to it. I can't push my boundaries, because, well, i'd just screw up. I'm jealous of the people that can push their boundaries without screwing up, because they have far more potential than I could ever hope to have.

I probably sound like an old man, and believe me, I feel like one...

well, you sound like a grown-up, and i do not sound like one. which is true to how i really am in real life, to be honest.

i created an empty profile on OKCupid to compare myself to other people on WP, and there is one category in which i am different from almost everyone else i have encountered on the site. the first Personality graph compares how "adventurous" a person is, based on survey questions. i am overly adventurous compared to most people, which is not really a good thing. seriously, i went looking for bears in the mountains one time, and i tried to touch an elk in the wild. i leap first and look later, and i get myself into all kinds of awkward and dangerous trouble.

i am not the right person to compare against, because i tend to have a messed-up sense of safety.