How can a girl like you without facial expression?

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liveandletdie
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28 Dec 2010, 1:02 am

Well..I had a conversation with a girl online and she wanted to web chat. Which I was pretty hesitant but I figured since she wanted to she wouldn't think I was awkward because I told her I was better at typing then talking. (She probably thought it was a joke) anyways, I just couldn't help notice I don't have enough facial expresssion and she kept asking me to talk more and be more enthused. But I thought I was being enthused because I was listening to what she was saying and responding etc. I am glad to have a little experience from the conversation...I believe my lack of experience is part of my problem.

But I can't help but wonder....can a girl like me if I don't show any facial expression unless I am laughing? I don't think this is something I can change.

Well...just some thoughts...what do you guys think?


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menintights
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28 Dec 2010, 1:19 am

liveandletdie wrote:
I don't think this is something I can change.


Observe other people, practice in front of the mirror, record yourself, etc. etc.

If you can't make it happen, then maybe you don't want it that badly.



Kaybee
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28 Dec 2010, 4:25 am

I think facial expression is fairly important, though perhaps not as important as vocal expression (not speaking in a monotone). Or maybe they each are equally. I think as long as you can do one or the other, you shouldn't be too badly off.

liveandletdie wrote:
I don't think this is something I can change.


In fact, it is. Maybe you'll never be as good at it as most other people, but you can learn to express both facially and vocally with repeated and sincere practice.


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DemonAbyss10
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28 Dec 2010, 6:44 am

Kaybee wrote:
I think facial expression is fairly important, though perhaps not as important as vocal expression (not speaking in a monotone). Or maybe they each are equally. I think as long as you can do one or the other, you shouldn't be too badly off.

liveandletdie wrote:
I don't think this is something I can change.


In fact, it is. Maybe you'll never be as good at it as most other people, but you can learn to express both facially and vocally with repeated and sincere practice.


now I am an exception to that due to partial facial paralysis, at least it isnt complete.

I can partially do it but it WILL come off as creepy. I use voice tones moreso anyways. and if I do animate myself, my arms/hands are a MAJOR part of it.


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Kaybee
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28 Dec 2010, 9:18 am

DemonAbyss10 wrote:
Kaybee wrote:
I think facial expression is fairly important, though perhaps not as important as vocal expression (not speaking in a monotone). Or maybe they each are equally. I think as long as you can do one or the other, you shouldn't be too badly off.

liveandletdie wrote:
I don't think this is something I can change.


In fact, it is. Maybe you'll never be as good at it as most other people, but you can learn to express both facially and vocally with repeated and sincere practice.


now I am an exception to that due to partial facial paralysis, at least it isnt complete.

I can partially do it but it WILL come off as creepy. I use voice tones moreso anyways. and if I do animate myself, my arms/hands are a MAJOR part of it.


Ah, I'm sorry to hear that. That is something of a special case. As I was getting at, though, I think that as long as one can be expressive (in a way which is comprehensible to others), it doesn't much matter the form it takes.


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liveandletdie
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28 Dec 2010, 12:09 pm

o and she said I was being monotone as well =/

ya I guess I don't want to change it that badly because I feel like I am changing something that doesn't need to be changed, changing it just helps people feel more secure but maybe changing this about me will make me feel insecure because I am faking my facial expresssions and tone.

So can someone explain a success story to me where you did a good job changing your facial expressions and/or monotone in order to have success in relationships?

where is the middle ground or compromise?

if I smile all the time then when I am actually smiling it wont show...because my lips wont have anywhere to go. I don't know how to change my voice, I've tried to before with little success.


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Greatsharkbite
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28 Dec 2010, 12:21 pm

I dunno, OP were you nervous? My girlfriend says that I can be expressive--although sometimes she entirely misreads me, or she says i'm being funny due to awkward body language that was unintentional, when I was trying to convey humor through something else.

People used to say I was monotone all the time, i'm only generally monotone with people i'm nervous and unfamiliar with tho. I mean if you're talking to a person, if they're making "demands" a good idea may be also to see if you can get tips from them directly.



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28 Dec 2010, 1:21 pm

liveandletdie wrote:
o and she said I was being monotone as well =/

ya I guess I don't want to change it that badly because I feel like I am changing something that doesn't need to be changed, changing it just helps people feel more secure but maybe changing this about me will make me feel insecure because I am faking my facial expresssions and tone.

So can someone explain a success story to me where you did a good job changing your facial expressions and/or monotone in order to have success in relationships?

where is the middle ground or compromise?

if I smile all the time then when I am actually smiling it wont show...because my lips wont have anywhere to go. I don't know how to change my voice, I've tried to before with little success.

i took acting classes as a teenager (pre-diagnosis), so i have become accustomed to using more facial expression. and readers' theatre competitions (i never even placed, but the practice was good for me).

i also listen very closely when people talk, to hear the nuances of expression. i tend to start using some same nuances after a long while. it helps that i work on the telephone.

one other thing is that i joke and clown around a lot, so that keeps things energetic. it is exhausting, but it works for limited periods of time.


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