I've got a hot date tomorrow/hope for guys struggling

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Yes, I do. A sexy 20 year old, fairly intelligent too. I'm pretty sure she'll be spending a lovely night at hotel space too. And you know what? She's "excited" to go out with me tomorrow. Yep, a good looking 20 year old girl is excited to go on a date with me, a very AS male with many things going against him.

How did I get this success?

I lost my virginity with an escort at 24, and slept with a bunch more to get the "chip" off my shoulder (so I could say I had sex with more than 10 beautiful women, got more comfortable lying naked next to women I hardly knew, etc)

I then got a job that paid good money (I work in mining/oil & gas construction). Then I got my own place (a condo) to take women to. I bought a cellphone. I got some nice furniture and a nice tv, and a newer Honda to drive in.

My job helped me to learn some self-confidence, and how to stand up for myself to bullies.

I bought some decent clothes. Nice jeans, designer t shirts, clean sneakers.

I got reasonably in shape, got a hair cut, got my face cleared up, put some gel in my hair, got some decent cologne.

I e-mailed 100's of girls on plenty of fish, and eventually had luck, dated several, slept with a handful, got dumped several times, got blown off tons....

I went through the awkwardness of 1st date, to 1st kiss, to making a woman a meal in my own home (complete with sexy music), to making love. Multiple times.

Now, at 27 years old I think I am finally about average with women. I still have AS, but I have been learning to minimize my weaknesses, maximize my strengths, and have a modicum of success with women. I also do not drink alcohol, and I felt this was an obstacle to get around too... which I have proven you can. I am not trying to be a player, or compete with the "cool" guys... I am happy being me, despite all my flaws.

I remember it wasn't long ago that I was living in my parents basement, posting on WP all my frustrations, and dreaming about doing some of things I've described above. Now, they are my reality.

So in closing, I understand all the frustrations guys here post about. I have made those posts too! But, I am trying to serve as a beacon of hope to you guys that AS is not a death sentence for your love life.

A success story that's so wrong I don't even know where to begin.

There is nothing wrong with scrubbing yourself clean, haveing a close shave and trying to avoid dressing like a scarecrow but......

The sex with escorts is an exceptionally bad idea. Women are not sex dispensing machines, I suspect that by paying for sex you will in your own mind start to distort the reality of what a healthy relationship is into something rather less wholesome.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

I have my own success story
one day I went into the mountains to train with an order of hidden monks, but it proved to costly, so I went to train with normal monks-again, too costly
so i trained alone, learned much from the earth and the trees, and went out and found the 7 dragonballs wishing for luck in dating...unfortunately a talking pig beat me to the punch and wished for some underwear (really should have kept those)
so I locked them in a dungeon...long story short, my house was destroyed by a 100 foot giant ape

s**t happens I guess


(my point is...well one man's success don't equal success for all, maybe I don't feel like whoring myself out to escorts, just a thought?)

The sex with escorts was a bad idea. I wouldn't present that as a solution to relationship problems, by any means.

If anything, it creates even more problems.

Well, Space, since you weren't exactly playing nice in another thread...

A 27-year-old has no business dating a 20-year-old. Go find someone your age, someone who knows better and isn't easily thrilled by the mere fact that she's going out with "an older man." What with you emphasizing the sex aspect of the date with a significantly younger girl, you are coming across as creepy.

no I thought the same thing, just by how you talked about sex and such, how you needed to see escorts to take the edge off
where if you didn't care, that would have never happened

okay so I guess this is another failed thread with nothing positive to be derived from it? Awesome. Just f*****g awesome. *waiting for mods*

for mods to do what? cause we didn't like your story we're in the wrong??

Sounds pretty successful to me in terms of the outcome so far. Well done.

I find it interesting (in a bad way) how judgmental many are on here about the OP's decision to see escorts, and the age difference. I thought we on the spectrum are not supposed to care about such social impressions.

He said that the decision to have sex with escorts was "to take the chip off his shoulder". Some of you say that he shouldn't get into the mindset of having to pay for sex, that it's distorted and whatever, but the truth of the matter is, a lot of women will not have sex with a guy unless he pays her in some form, in money or otherwise. I'd love to find a woman who wants to be sexually involved with me just because she likes it, but aside from some women on here who live too far away, I haven't found any. And the other truth is, some of us guys may be too bitter and frustrated about never having been able to feel a naked woman that this overwhelms all chances to understand the emotions involved in a balanced relationship until we have had such experiences. Unfortunately, few women want to be the ones who let us have those chances easily, so that we can regain that sense of balance. Hence the reason why escorts may be helpful.

But some of your responses highlight something else that I've noticed. I know a lot of men talk about how getting women becomes so much easier once you get older, have a good job, and generally have your life together. But I doubt this, seeing as it may take 5 or 10 years to get to that point of financial stability and a fully built life, and then the only women who will be attracted because of that, despite the man being emotionally undeveloped, will be those who want to be "bought" and/or who are looking for men much farther along in life than they are. Yes, if I were to become financially well off, buy a house, etc., I could probably find a younger (e.g. 18 or 19 year old) woman who wants to move in with an older, wealthy guy so much that she's willing to play through those teenage-type dating and sexual experiences that I never got to do in my own teenage years. But then when I start to grow and change as much as she does, I have a feeling it might burst some bubble of hers. So money and having ones non-dating life together may not give one the power to do anything except screw more people's lives up worse.

I think it is wrong to encourage others to pay for sex, Asperger's or not - it degrades women and doesn't achieve anything. Still I understand why you may end up with someone younger though a 7 year gap is a bit too large.

Generally as far as young people are concerned [20 is still young, usually people at 20 are a bit immature],,guidance for healthcare professionals says 5 years is the maximum age gap to rule out the possibility of an abusive relationship.

On the otherhand girls do like older men excessively, and I have had to turn down sex a few times [everytime] sometimes people I just met, because Im a christian and I thought it was wrong.

So I suppose generally you have done well in your life and have achieved a lot very quickly, what you want is a girlfriend who is going to respect you and to have a long term relationship with -and that isn't likely to happen if you expect to have sex on a first date. you may mention the hotel to her and she may run a mile- don't even think about it now. Show you are sincere and a nice person - most Aspies are, be very polite and have excellent commuication skills - most of all show the girl you respect her.