anxiety when being loved (repost)

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Hi soulmates,

once when I fell in love with a girl, I had the following problem: I felt helpless, because i loved her so much, and i knew that my social skills are not so perfect, she liked me also, but i feared that she would get together with someone else once, and that i would then suffer a lot. I feared that without any reason, the only reason was that this once happened to me, when i fell in love before. This one got together with someone else and i suffered alot.

But this girl liked me and when she showed that she liked me, i always was soo happy, but at the same time my fear grew even more, that i will lose her.

Can anyone tell me if he also had this phenomenon, or maybe tell how this is called in correct terms?

Thanks alot,
Anton

Fear of emotional intimacy? I seem to have it. I don't know why but as much as I crush on people the second someone seems to want something from me I panic. I don't even know what I'm afraid of I panic so fast. I guess fear of the possibility of betrayal and rejection could play into it or fear of losing myself. I did take the plunge once and got betrayed in a big way, but at least now I have my son, who has AS and is the light of my life.

thanks for your answer. However actually with "love" i didn't mean any physical contact or relationship, but rather if someone likes you, and would like to get together with you.

best regards,
Anton

When I got into my relationship (actually up until very recently) I thought I wasn't worth my boyfriends love so i'd sabotage it on purpose so he would leave me because I didn't deserve him.

I think it happens more than you think. Pain is pretty awful, so in self-defense we shut out the other, even though we might crave intimacy. It's like a mental reflex that can be unlearned. It's just scary.

I'll add, too, that my bf and I have been together 15 months, and have broken up several times for that exact reason. Each time it would end, though, we'd realize that we missed the other person enough to work through the fear. And, every time, we were that much closer....