How to sleep alone in king-sized bed

Post Reply New Topic

I just read on the entrance to wrong planet an ad for a book "how to sleep alone in king sized bed". I haven't read it, but I can't help but ask about the title. Since that book is about relationships, apparently it seems to be talking about "how to deal with a feeling of loneliness". But why "king sized" part? Why not just "how to sleep alone"? Does it imply that being in king sized bed is somehow WORSE than otherwise?

Well I am doing a post doc in India, with a salary of only $350 per month, which made it VERY hard to pay off my huge credit card loan from USA. And, speaking of beds, in India there are no king sized beds. I have a very small and rather hard bed. When I had a short visit to USA last August I slept in king sized bed, and that was a bliss. And yes, I was "alone" in that bed. But still, IT WAS A BLISS.

If I was the one sleeping in that bed on regular basis, I would be one of these ppl getting few thousand dollar monthly salary and never worrying about the loan. And then I would be the happiest person ever -- alone or not! Too bad I didn't appreciate what I had back in the time when I DID live in USA.

And, speaking of being single, is it really that bad? I met a girl from New Zeland online. She wastes tons of my time chatting every day, which I WISH I could have used for my physics. That is another reason why I really liked that little trip to USA -- I didn't have to chat with her so much, and I had more time to myself. If that was a constant thing rather than just one trip, I am sure I would have done FAR better in my physics career.

So to those of you sleeping alone in king size bed, you have NO IDEA how lucky you are. But I don't blame you. I was equally lucky few years ago, but instead of using every bit of my time for physics I wasted it looking for girls. TOO BAD. Girls can come and go. The time that I wasted can NEVER be taken back.

I am now 31 years old and I can't get any younger. I wish I could go back to when I was 22 and was thikning "poor poor me, can never find any girls". BS. I now see from my track record that I CAN find girls, it just takes a lot longer than for normal people who don't have AS. But as far as my age, THAT is the one thing I can't undo no matter how hard or how long I try.

Haven't read the book -- I speculate that having a king-sized bed might mean that you were in a relationship or marriage, and now you're not, and you have to cope and rebuild.

Or... Maybe that bed just feels king-sized when no-one is there to share it with you.

Well yeah, while it is about loneliness, the king sized bit is probably like saying you'd be more aware that you were once with someone, because otherwise you'd not have a king sized bed.

But anyway, I really admire your strength in overcoming the 'poor, poor me attitude' and your ability to move forward and learn from past mistakes. I'm still struggling with it a lot myself and I was just thinking to myself that it takes more strength to become confident as someone who's been picked on for being different through your whole life, than to become confident if you were always respected by everyone and always fit in. If only more people realized that.

I think king size is possibly to suggest the size of the emptiness. There's less room for space in a single.

Reminds me of Phish.

When you're there,
I sleep lengthwise...
And when you're gone,
I sleep diagonal in my bed

I have another speculation. King sized bed symbolizes the amount of resources you COULD have spent for a relationship. In other words, you have all this money and stuff, you could TOTALLY spend it on your girlfriend, but no one wants to be with you, anyway.

This situation is diametrically opposite to mine. My prevous girlfriend, Jennifer, forced me to spend a lot of money on our trip to Canada and I didn't even have that money. So my situation is more like I have a small narrow bed AND I am NOT alone in it, hence I am totally squished. In my case, I would have been BETTER OFF if I was alone. That is why that book is only adressed to people with king sized beds, that is, the ones who CAN AFFORD dating.

Whatever floats your boat.

I have found that having a career without a personal life is a hollow and meaningless life.

One big difference between me and everyone else is that I don't really care that much if my life is "hallow and meaningless" when I am in a survival mode. My career as a physicist is a definition of who I am, hence I can't "survive" without it, which means that anything and everything that compromises it is not worth it.

Few years back I was mistakenly thinking that my self-worth is defined by my ability to get a date. I thought that no one in the world would ever date me, hence I needed to desperately search out ONE woman who would, just to survive. I WAS WRONG. I had 6 girlfriends so far, so clearly taht is not true. Since now I KNOW I can get a girlfriend, I no longer need to prove it to myself. And the fact that I invested so much time into this was a HUGE mistake.

When you're used to sleeping alone and have either never known, or have known and forgotten, what it's like to truly miss and want someone to lay down with, a small bed is enough, and you can be content in it.

However, when you're alone in bed and missing someone, even a small bed can feel like a sea upon which you're adrift with no anchor..

I can identify with the 'diagonal' comment, except it's not so much sleeping diagonally as it is tossing and turning and rolling around, reaching out...drifting. That feeling is so much worse than being accustomed to sleeping alone. If you've never known what it is to lay down with someone and become as one, the feeling of being suddenly without that comfort is impossible to articulate.

Aw

But It's true!

I'm a pretty good sized guy and a full bed used to seem small to me when I started sleeping alone again, after sharing a king.. And then I got used to it, and I kinda stopped missing anyone and everything was more or less OK.. All it takes, though, is to start missing someone who's been there with you...someone with whom you just seem to fit...and all that empty space around you suddenly seems unending. The cold spots even seem colder..

I have read the book, and that's exactly what it's about. It's about a woman who got divorced fairly late in life and suddenly finds herself alone, and it's a new sensation for her to sleep by herself in the bed she once shared with her husband..