Do you think this should be given consideration?

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Okay don't get annoyed by this thread and i know it may seem like another 'women have it easier than men' thread.

i think people should address more to society the difficulties people with AS having in the dating world. For this reason i think in the future they should set up a disabled dating programme for people who are less experienced in the major dating world. basicly it would be for people with AS who do not have very good social skills. i personally think the dating world should be a lot more flexible.

if this programme does take off then it would be mainly for aspergers men who do not have to depend so much on thier social skills etc.......

maybe we shold proposed this idea to the autistic society?

Last edited by Jamesy on 13 Jan 2011, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

You can't expect society to bend to you.
It might seem unfair, but that's the way it is.

emlion but can't this idea at least be given some consideration? I personally think its a very good idea.

Listen just try not to bite my head off about this okay its just an idea thats all. its like at school when you have different levels of maths or englishes classes for people who have various experience at the subject this could also be aplied to the dating world.

Last edited by Jamesy on 13 Jan 2011, 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

But what would such a programme entail?

maybe it could be for men and women who suffer from AS.

I cannot imagine NT girls going to this dating programme though

You still haven't proposed what it would entail?

What does entail mean?

Yes, and unfortunately they're the ones Aspie men want.

What would happen there? What would be the purpose?

They already have dating websites for people with "mental illness" in general. I would assume developmental disorders count even if you don't have the usual co-morbid conditions like depression, social anxiety, OCD, etc. I was thinking of trying one of these but my therapist argued against it. Upon further thought, I can see where she's coming from. Putting two unstable, emotionally fragile people together may not be the best idea.

Well it would be like normal dating without less scrutiny and unfairness. basicly it would be like dating without the man needing not great social skills.

its when you get a job and becasue you have AS sometimes you might get given special allowences of consdieratio exactley the same shold apply the dating world.

emilon sorry as well but your a women and its easy for you to say 'don't expect society to bend to you' because you have it easier than aspie men in the dating world.

Last edited by Jamesy on 13 Jan 2011, 10:22 am, edited 2 times in total.

At least in theory, mentors or tutors overseeing small gatherings might be helpful here as long as the participants involved were looking for something more constructive than merely getting laid. Choreographed conversations could at least build basic bits of confidence.

It's not the same in the dating world.
Why should you get special treatment - it's not fair on the other person involved.
Both people have to work at a relationship to make it fair for both.

Oh I can probably get laid easier (i guess?) but for an actual relationship? Nah, men run a mile from needy, messed up girls like me. Or stay and just use us. It's not as 'easy' as you think.

QFT

The thing is, there is no such thing as "the dating world". There are single men and women who are looking for partners who are compatible with them (if looking for a long term relationship) or who are attractive to them and willing to have sex with them (if looking only for a hookup). This makes "scrutiny and unfairness" a mandatory part of the process. See Pandora Box's thread about "looking for a partner who will challenge me". Everybody needs to scrutinize potential partners or else will wind up with somebody horribly unsuitable. Unfairness is also mandatory, since giving all comers a fair chance means going out with literally everyone who asks, which is a waste of time at best. Women also have to be somewhat cautious about who they say "yes" to since indiscriminate dating of all who ask leads to the "slut" label even when no sex is involved.

Perhaps what would be most helpful to you is something like Leejosepho describes: get-together opportunities moderated by mentors who would oversee the participants and coach them. To me this sounds like the social skills classes found in autism schools except for adults. Maybe that would help. But it would have the drawback of attracting only those who wanted their socializing moderated like that. This could be its' own kind of drawback.