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I can't get a girlfriend

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Inertial_Mass
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07 Jan 2011, 7:17 pm

I had one about a year ago...she turned out to be a stalker with emotional problems. 8O So now I'm trying but I've been rejected everytime. I know this one girl with AS and we used to be friends untill she turned into an arrogant jerk becasue she was getting help for it and I was not. So I don't know what to do.



Mindslave
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07 Jan 2011, 7:22 pm

Why do you want a girlfriend?



Inertial_Mass
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07 Jan 2011, 7:47 pm

Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.



emlion
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07 Jan 2011, 8:17 pm

Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.


A puppy dog will help with that. :3



Mindslave
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07 Jan 2011, 9:18 pm

Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.


You need a better reason than that if a girl is going to be with you. As nice as it would be to meet someone under the guise of "I'm lonely, you're lonely, let's start dating" it doesn't work that way. (Side note: if that does happen, RUN FOR THE FREAKING HILLS!) The reason should be about her, not about you. Think of how that makes her feel. Being an object with which to cure loneliness. I think what you need is structure. First things first, pal.



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09 Jan 2011, 9:25 am

Inertial_Mass wrote:
I had one about a year ago...she turned out to be a stalker with emotional problems. 8O.

I would like a girl like that. What's your secret :?:


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Inertial_Mass
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09 Jan 2011, 12:22 pm

Mindslave wrote:
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.


You need a better reason than that if a girl is going to be with you. As nice as it would be to meet someone under the guise of "I'm lonely, you're lonely, let's start dating" it doesn't work that way. (Side note: if that does happen, RUN FOR THE FREAKING HILLS!) The reason should be about her, not about you. Think of how that makes her feel. Being an object with which to cure loneliness. I think what you need is structure. First things first, pal.


No no no! I don't mean it that way! I just mean there's this nice girl I like. She's an Italian exchange student with a really funny and playful personality. She already turned me down once. I was just at her house yesterday for a sorta "party" for the club we're in at school, and it went really well.



Kilroy
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09 Jan 2011, 1:25 pm

she turned you down
its over, move on



Biokinetica
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09 Jan 2011, 1:44 pm

Kilroy wrote:
she turned you down
its over, move on

I just don't understand how posts like this are at all helpful. You all must be intelligent enough to know that it will not be that easy for the vast majority of this forum.
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.


You need a better reason than that if a girl is going to be with you. As nice as it would be to meet someone under the guise of "I'm lonely, you're lonely, let's start dating" it doesn't work that way. (Side note: if that does happen, RUN FOR THE FREAKING HILLS!) The reason should be about her, not about you. Think of how that makes her feel. Being an object with which to cure loneliness. I think what you need is structure. First things first, pal.


No no no! I don't mean it that way! I just mean there's this nice girl I like. She's an Italian exchange student with a really funny and playful personality. She already turned me down once. I was just at her house yesterday for a sorta "party" for the club we're in at school, and it went really well.

That has to be rough. I would say try to avoid her without being to obvious about it. In my recent experience, the longer you're around her, the more you'll be attracted to her. At some point, it'll turn into an obsession and end badly if you don't. Then you'll be worse off then before. I know that's not what you want to hear; it's not what I wanted to hear or believe either. On a more positive note, maybe you could try finding out things about her that you don't like to ease the tension around her. That might help you keep yourself in check while you look for someone who will accept you.



Kilroy
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09 Jan 2011, 2:28 pm

sometimes people need the cold truth, not everything is meant to be happy and cheery
life is full of hardships
often the only thing to do is move on and forget, and telling people otherwise only hurts them



Biokinetica
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09 Jan 2011, 2:48 pm

Kilroy wrote:
sometimes people need the cold truth, not everything is meant to be happy and cheery
life is full of hardships
often the only thing to do is move on and forget, and telling people otherwise only hurts them

You might be validated if you ever shared a method of doing so. As it stands, you've provided nothing in the way of beginning the process of 'moving on'. No one here asserts that all things should be happy or cheery, so don't bother with that excuse.



Inertial_Mass
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09 Jan 2011, 2:51 pm

Biokinetica wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
she turned you down
its over, move on

I just don't understand how posts like this are at all helpful. You all must be intelligent enough to know that it will not be that easy for the vast majority of this forum.
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.


You need a better reason than that if a girl is going to be with you. As nice as it would be to meet someone under the guise of "I'm lonely, you're lonely, let's start dating" it doesn't work that way. (Side note: if that does happen, RUN FOR THE FREAKING HILLS!) The reason should be about her, not about you. Think of how that makes her feel. Being an object with which to cure loneliness. I think what you need is structure. First things first, pal.


No no no! I don't mean it that way! I just mean there's this nice girl I like. She's an Italian exchange student with a really funny and playful personality. She already turned me down once. I was just at her house yesterday for a sorta "party" for the club we're in at school, and it went really well.

That has to be rough. I would say try to avoid her without being to obvious about it. In my recent experience, the longer you're around her, the more you'll be attracted to her. At some point, it'll turn into an obsession and end badly if you don't. Then you'll be worse off then before. I know that's not what you want to hear; it's not what I wanted to hear or believe either. On a more positive note, maybe you could try finding out things about her that you don't like to ease the tension around her. That might help you keep yourself in check while you look for someone who will accept you.


Soo...We can't just be friends or I can't try to get her to like me?



Biokinetica
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09 Jan 2011, 3:00 pm

Inertial_Mass wrote:
Biokinetica wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
she turned you down
its over, move on

I just don't understand how posts like this are at all helpful. You all must be intelligent enough to know that it will not be that easy for the vast majority of this forum.
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Inertial_Mass wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?


Cuz I'm lonely.


You need a better reason than that if a girl is going to be with you. As nice as it would be to meet someone under the guise of "I'm lonely, you're lonely, let's start dating" it doesn't work that way. (Side note: if that does happen, RUN FOR THE FREAKING HILLS!) The reason should be about her, not about you. Think of how that makes her feel. Being an object with which to cure loneliness. I think what you need is structure. First things first, pal.


No no no! I don't mean it that way! I just mean there's this nice girl I like. She's an Italian exchange student with a really funny and playful personality. She already turned me down once. I was just at her house yesterday for a sorta "party" for the club we're in at school, and it went really well.

That has to be rough. I would say try to avoid her without being too obvious about it. In my recent experience, the longer you're around her, the more you'll be attracted to her. At some point, it'll turn into an obsession and end badly if you don't. Then you'll be worse off then before. I know that's not what you want to hear; it's not what I wanted to hear or believe either. On a more positive note, maybe you could try finding out things about her that you don't like to ease the tension around her. That might help you keep yourself in check while you look for someone who will accept you.


Soo...We can't just be friends or I can't try to get her to like me?

I say that because kinda feel like I have to. I just tried that exact same thing, and it totally blew up in my face. I'm trying to save someone else from the pain I just went through. However, I don't know what the situation on the ground is like where you are. If you really think you can pursue her in a way that won't get out of control, then go for it. When I say "avoid her without being too obvious", I don't mean run away when she wants to talk to you; if she approaches, great. Just don't approach her too much. What I'm trying to say is more of an 'approach with caution' than an 'avoid at all cost'.



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09 Jan 2011, 3:16 pm

Biokinetica wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
sometimes people need the cold truth, not everything is meant to be happy and cheery
life is full of hardships
often the only thing to do is move on and forget, and telling people otherwise only hurts them

You might be validated if you ever shared a method of doing so. As it stands, you've provided nothing in the way of beginning the process of 'moving on'. No one here asserts that all things should be happy or cheery, so don't bother with that excuse.


moving on isn't something you can just learn I mean everyone can but most don't
just don't think about her anymore
I mean its not rocket science
its not a batch of hidden secrets, its just, getting back out there and putting your mind on other things
how hard is this



Inertial_Mass
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09 Jan 2011, 3:30 pm

Kilroy wrote:
Biokinetica wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
sometimes people need the cold truth, not everything is meant to be happy and cheery
life is full of hardships
often the only thing to do is move on and forget, and telling people otherwise only hurts them

You might be validated if you ever shared a method of doing so. As it stands, you've provided nothing in the way of beginning the process of 'moving on'. No one here asserts that all things should be happy or cheery, so don't bother with that excuse.


moving on isn't something you can just learn I mean everyone can but most don't
just don't think about her anymore
I mean its not rocket science
its not a batch of hidden secrets, its just, getting back out there and putting your mind on other things
how hard is this


Pretty hard for me. I get super-obsessed over people. Thinking about them keeps me up at night.



Biokinetica
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09 Jan 2011, 3:37 pm

Kilroy wrote:
Biokinetica wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
sometimes people need the cold truth, not everything is meant to be happy and cheery
life is full of hardships
often the only thing to do is move on and forget, and telling people otherwise only hurts them

You might be validated if you ever shared a method of doing so. As it stands, you've provided nothing in the way of beginning the process of 'moving on'. No one here asserts that all things should be happy or cheery, so don't bother with that excuse.


moving on isn't something you can just learn I mean everyone can but most don't
just don't think about her anymore
I mean its not rocket science
its not a batch of hidden secrets, its just, getting back out there and putting your mind on other things
how hard is this

I'm starting to wonder if you really have AS...