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Being really awkward when you talk to the girl/guy you like

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Asp-Z
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07 Jan 2011, 11:44 am

I spent lunch with the girl I like yesterday, but I became really awkward when I was talking.

Has anyone got any methods to cope with it?



emlion
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07 Jan 2011, 11:45 am

Happens with everyone.
It'll probably just naturally sort itself out when you become more comfortable around her.



MidlifeAspie
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07 Jan 2011, 11:59 am

Asp-Z wrote:
I spent lunch with the girl I like yesterday, but I became really awkward when I was talking.


That's just the way it works. If you didn't like her it would not be nearly as awkward. Enjoy the awkwardness, it doesn't last forever. I firmly believe that at least 70% of the sexual tension reside in those awkward moments. Have fun with them while they last.



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07 Jan 2011, 1:54 pm

That's what happens with me too, although I've recently made efforts not to be whenever I'm talking to the guy I like. It's really tough.



Grisha
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07 Jan 2011, 2:15 pm

I've concluded that you just need to accept it with a sense of humor and not beat yourself up over it.

If your initial awkwardness is a deal-breaker for her, then she wasn't right for you anyway...



Volodja
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07 Jan 2011, 2:28 pm

I get awkward talking to anyone, but especially girls I like

Some girls like awkward guys though

Try and smile. I don't mean grinning like a lunatic obviously, but awkwardness is less of a problem when you at least look friendly rather than creepy. I know a lot of aspies don't like smiling though



cmjust0
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07 Jan 2011, 2:37 pm

Yeah, I have some advice.. You look at them, put on a goofy grin, laugh a little, and say "Sorry...I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

A little bit of genuine openness and honesty goes a long way toward breaking the tension of an awkward moment.. Conversely -- and this makes sense, when you think about it -- nothing helps an awkward moment be more awkward than trying to overcome it by being someone you're NOT.



Asp-Z
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07 Jan 2011, 2:57 pm

cmjust0 wrote:
Yeah, I have some advice.. You look at them, put on a goofy grin, laugh a little, and say "Sorry...I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

A little bit of genuine openness and honesty goes a long way toward breaking the tension of an awkward moment.. Conversely -- and this makes sense, when you think about it -- nothing helps an awkward moment be more awkward than trying to overcome it by being someone you're NOT.


That's what I did, but I still reckon she has a worse opinion of me than she did before. I guess only time will tell, though. Maybe I'm just exaggerating events in my head and getting paranoid.



cmjust0
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07 Jan 2011, 3:55 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
cmjust0 wrote:
Yeah, I have some advice.. You look at them, put on a goofy grin, laugh a little, and say "Sorry...I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

A little bit of genuine openness and honesty goes a long way toward breaking the tension of an awkward moment.. Conversely -- and this makes sense, when you think about it -- nothing helps an awkward moment be more awkward than trying to overcome it by being someone you're NOT.


That's what I did, but I still reckon she has a worse opinion of me than she did before. I guess only time will tell, though. Maybe I'm just exaggerating events in my head and getting paranoid.


If that's true...if being honest about being awkward and uncomfortable in situations like that made her think *less* of you...keep looking. She's not for you.

There's more free advice for ya. :)



Asp-Z
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07 Jan 2011, 3:58 pm

cmjust0 wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
cmjust0 wrote:
Yeah, I have some advice.. You look at them, put on a goofy grin, laugh a little, and say "Sorry...I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

A little bit of genuine openness and honesty goes a long way toward breaking the tension of an awkward moment.. Conversely -- and this makes sense, when you think about it -- nothing helps an awkward moment be more awkward than trying to overcome it by being someone you're NOT.


That's what I did, but I still reckon she has a worse opinion of me than she did before. I guess only time will tell, though. Maybe I'm just exaggerating events in my head and getting paranoid.


If that's true...if being honest about being awkward and uncomfortable in situations like that made her think *less* of you...keep looking. She's not for you.

There's more free advice for ya. :)


I have no idea what she thinks of me, I've only talked to her for a short amount of time since. As I said, it's probably all in my head anyway. At least, I hope it is. You have no idea just how awkward I can get.



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07 Jan 2011, 9:31 pm

It's very normal and something I'm sure to experience myself. I shake and stutter when I'm around the girl I like and finding a way to ask her out is going to be quite a challenge.


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wefunction
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07 Jan 2011, 10:08 pm

I'm always super awkward around men that I'm attracted to. They actually get the impression that I don't like them. That's a good thing now that I'm married but it was horrible when I was single! Just keep talking to her when you have opportunities and if she ever had the wrong impression, she'll realize you are interested in her. Plus, the more you talk to her, the easier it will become.



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09 Jan 2011, 12:28 pm

Me tactic is to try to befriend them first so they're used to you're little quirks and oddities so that when you ask her out it's a lot less akaward then if you do it out of nowhere.



Asp-Z
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10 Jan 2011, 1:54 pm

I sent her a message last night apologising for my previous awkwardness and saying I hope she had a good weekend, then today we talked a lot and I think she likes me, so I don't think there's any harm done :)



wefunction
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10 Jan 2011, 1:56 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
I sent her a message last night apologising for my previous awkwardness and saying I hope she had a good weekend, then today we talked a lot and I think she likes me, so I don't think there's any harm done :)


Yay! :D



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10 Jan 2011, 2:45 pm

Its easy to fall into the self doubt trap. Unless it comes from the horses mouth its presuming the worst in your own mind.