What is wrong with me?

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Hi everyone! Ill just give you some background; I'm 17 and I have aspergers and mild to severe anxiety (yes it varies). I have undergone allot of various therapy and psychobehaviour modification, what ever basically most don't know I have aspergers which is actually frustrating but Ill get to that later maybe. Anyway's I'm very social, I know how to hold a conversation especially with girls which is actually fun because I know how to get them talking, I'm confident and I know how to leave a good first impression, people alway's comment and say things like "You and so and so really hit it off" or "She really likes you". However there is a barrier; If I loose an emotionally attached person it literally feels like they died, I never want that feeling again I recently experienced it again (not related to a relationship) and it was worse than any physical pain I've ever had. I have always just started talking to females other than my anxiety in general I'm usually comfortable, I leave my impression and then we start talking more and it keeps going smoothly then the second I push even farther I get this feeling of like "shock" the kind of feeling you get when something bad happens and you need to get away, and I pull away or I just completely change the way I act, more withdrawn I would say. Its really bad because even if I really like the girl it happens. For example I recently had this happen, this girl I met a little bit ago I really started to like her then I just when into this "shock" mode and messed it up..I'm just looking for some thoughts, advice? Thanks...I'm new around here fyi

if once i fell in love with someone, then i usually assume and interpret everything in the worst way. and have lots of fears. And i don't have any clue how to get rid of those fears. And those fears cause me to talk to her very uneasy, and this stresses me more.

maybe if i wouldn't have those fears, i wouldn't get an overload, and then i could look her in her face.

byebye,
anton

In situations like this, it helps to realize that ultimately, you have two choices. You can either make your best effort to refrain from getting emotionally involved with anyone because the pain is too unbearable if it doesn't work out, or you can decide to fight through the pain because you feel the value of the relationships you will have is worth it. Now, you can put off making that decision for some period of time, but ultimately, the same two choices will still be there staring you in the face. Neither choice is intrinsically correct like the answer to a math problem. You can only decide what's right for you.