Did you go to a school that had a Girls ask Boys dance?

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My dad's a cross country coach, and I was a runner for him when I was in high school. That was several years ago, but I still meet with the current members of the team for a run on Sundays. I think it's a good thing to have an alumnus running with them, as a positive influence, and it gets good results.

Anyways, with that set up, this particular run, one of the runners's girlfriends posted signs along our route, with various messages. When we finished the run, she was there waiting for him, and asked him out to this dance at school called WPA, or Women Pay All. A reversal of prom or homecoming where girls as guys.

I was really touched by how she asked him, and it was clear she really liked him and vice versa.

But watching it all I felt a deep sadness for what I was never a part of. In high school no girl ever asked me out for this dance. I never even got any hints, like 'Hey Brian, so and so likes you." I grew to hate that dance, because I was excluded. And I get mad, because I never got any dating experience in high school, because girls didn't think I was worthy of them, I never got that experience. Now I'm 27, and I can count the number of dates I've managed to get on one hand, despite trying hundreds of times. None have yielded a relationship. And now I don't think it'll ever happen. I'm too inexperienced, and no woman my age would want me. And I feel deep sadness when I see all the happiness others have which I've never known and never will.

Did you all have an experience like this?

Well our school never had one of those dances, nor did we ever really have a proper homecoming (there was one listed as a "homecoming", it was right after a football game so everyone was in street clothes, and a bunch of the students from the visiting team walked into it as it was an open event). There weren't established "dates", everyone just went by themselves.

Other than that, I know everything you're feeling... I was always ignored in lieu of other guys. And the worst part is, early in senior year, I decided I wouldn't go to my prom (more than just plain loneliness; I seriously couldn't afford all the trappings, and my parents weren't about to help me). Around february my senior year, everyone asked me if i was going. I said that nobody wants to go with me. If a girl inquired further, I would then ask if she wanted to go with me, but each time that happened they said they had found someone already.

At our dances girls were forced to ask boys half the time, and boys girls the other half.

Out this way, we calls em "Sadie Hawkins Dances" Actually I think I heard of it sometime in high school that some other school had this sort of thing going on. My feelings at the time were mixed. On one hand, I thought that would help someone like me who had so much trouble approaching women. On the other hand, I figured no one would ask so I thought it best to stay home. At any rate, by high school I had given up on dances as I didn't enjoy making a fool of myself.

The one and only time I have ever danced with a girl, (in junior high) I was so nervous that I couldn't look the girl I was asking to dance in the eye and the girl next to her thought I was asking her. She accepted and I proceeded to make the best of it by gyrating awkwardly in time to no particular music. Luckily she wasn't from my school and I never saw her again so neither of us had to relive the embarassment.

Yes, we had those.

The only thing worse that not being asked to go to one would be to actually *be* asked to go to one.

I would have liked to have been asked and then said "no"