What IS the secret to attracting a man, emotionally?

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there are all these super-expensive dating advice for women out there on the internet. apparently there's a difference between the women who "understand" the way a man thinks and doesn't have to try to earn a man's respect/interest....
....and the women who struggle and fail in their relationships, because men take them for granted/lose interest.

i pretend i'm not particularly interested in men that i date, and i even ignore their messages/calls sometimes. i've even tried the "lets just be friends" technique. still, they somehow stop caring.

what is this attitude/secret that the "desirable" women possess?!

big boobs.

seriously though; i've found a good conversation and a good sense of humour keep men interested.

I stop caring about a girl if she says lets be friends lol

Surely you jest!

You should have received marriage proposals from everyone you treated that way!

I'm preferential to women who are intelligent, but won't try to beat you over the head with it. If we have a good conversation about something we're both interested in as equals, that's a turn-on for me. I consider physical beauty important too, but it seems like that's much easier to find, so I don't worry about it.

ha. i put up defenses, i guess. there is nothing more embarrassing than being taken for granted or taken advantage of. that has happened to me many times.

If you ignore their messages/calls, they are going to think you are just stringing them along or messing them around.

If you say 'lets just be friends' that's going to be interpreted as you dumping them (or rejecting them if your aren't both already involved) or that you are seriously just taking the p*ss.

And you still expect them to care after all of that? No wonder you can't hold onto anyone.

Seriously the 'treat them mean, keep them keen' method won't work. Some women might enjoy that attitude being shown towards them, but men won't stand for any of that nonsense.

Last edited by Daemonic-Jackal on 09 Jan 2011, 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The mistake you, and most people make is that you are trying too hard. Hell, for that matter, you are trying. Do you have to try to impress your friends? I hope not. Friends are people you can be yourself around and not worry about saying the right things at the right time.

Now, this is easy to say, but hard to do consistently. The people that can do it consistently usually don't give a s**t, which is why playboys get so many women. So there's your secret to attracting anyone.

First and always foremost, always be yourself. "Passing" or acting out an unnatural "Persona" will ruin the relationship once men see this is not your true self, and feel manipulated as a consequence.

I assume from your post you have no trouble finding dates.

It's very important you understand what qualities you want in an ideal partner, and what flaws you need to avoid in a partner. This is more important than understanding men (or women) in general.

if you are genuinely interested in someone you're dating, show it. Respond to their messages. If you genuinely want explore a relationship, be honest about this, but take the approach that for him to have a relationship with you, he has to be the right man for you.

Do Not jump straight into a relationship. Use dating to learn more about him, and what qualities and flaws he has. Use dating to find out how close he is to your ideal partner.

Take your time with dating, and if he pressures you toward a relationship then stand your ground, you know you need to take your time, and if he respects you then he will be patient.

If you reach the relationship stage, communication is extremely important. Keep it unambiguous, precise, honest, non-judgmental, and constructive, as much the why and how of things as the what, when and where.

Make him feel good, make him feel happy.

I hate to say it - with AS I'm not the standard guy and may have difficulty giving you advice that works all the way across the board. That said, what works for me:

1) Be sociable, talk to me, tell me about your hopes, dreams, etc. but also really listen when you ask me about mine. When someone genuinely seems interested in who you are and what you're about - its truly touching.

2) Refrain from knee-jerk judgments of people or things. This tends to happen with both social conservatives and the wildly liberal. When someone has one trait, hobby, or interest, or even occasional social event that gets stereotyped, people who nail the person to the stereotype and filter who they are or aren't in absolute sense its really off-putting.

3) You may already be fine in this category but; most guys are after much more more than sex. Society tries to paint both genders as a bit more one dimensional than they really are - women aren't all about social status and money, guy's are all about sex or the A's and T's. Some will be, some won't, enough guys out there are looking for a lifelong partner to share the best of themselves with. That may not show necessarily how they talk with their friends (which technically they can't - they'd never hear the end of it ) but, you'll likely be able to see it in other ways.

Other than that - your preferences are your preferences.

I might ask you the same question I asked nthach earlier; is there a specific type that you find yourself interested? It might help us give better advice than simply trying to cover guys in general.

I think the secret is telling a guy that you like him. I'd LOVE to find a woman that direct & honest

[/quote]I think the secret is telling a guy that you like him. I'd LOVE to find a woman that direct & honest[/quote]

YES! I mean who really wants to go through the craziness of "Does she like me?"

My biggest problem with guys is that they laugh at me over pretty much anything that I take seriously...

...and then get on my case when I laugh at them. They're hypocrites is what they are.

cook an amazing steak & baked potato dinner, just for him
Maybe with some kind of heart-shaped side dish.

way to his heart is through his stomach... or so they say

While it's not totally the case for me, it certainly helps.