Dealing with a deployment:

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My partner is going to be deployed sometime in July. This will be our first deployment, on both levels. She's been in for almost five years and never left the states. We've been together for two years and she's never left me for longer than a week at a time, and even then it was just to see her mother for a few days. I have no idea what I am going to do without her. I'm dependent on her. While I am considered high functioning, I'm still a basket case. I forget to eat if I get absorbed into something, how am I going to remember to feed the animals? That's her job, not mine! Who's going to remind me that I need to pay rent (oh, wait, we rent from my dad, he'll remind me). Who's going to remind me that the house needs to be cleaned, that the kitchen has dishes from last year in it, who's going to remind me that I've been listening to a song obsessively for months on end? In short, I'm going to be L.O.S.T!

I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself. She's going to be gone for six months, six whole months! I can't sleep unless I know that she's snuggled up next to me. Or at least within touching distance. How am I not going to sleep for six months? We've discussed me getting a roommate, just so the anxiety of being alone all of the time doesn't get to me, but how does one with AS acquire a roommate, anyways? I doubt that I could live with anyone because, after a while, people become exasperating.

Oh, I have no idea how my dependent bum is going to deal with being alone for six months.....

Any ideas?

Well first off, usually in relationships where one's partner also has to take on the role of parental figure all of the time, it creates a strain, so it's good to learn to be a little independent.

You already know the things in life you have to do, you just stated them in your post. Pay rent, bills, clean, and so on. And you've already stated why you have problems doing this. Time management, and anxiety.

You can use a calender, or some type of scheduler to help you remember when things need to be paid. Remember, if you are mailing in a payment, mail it at least 7 days before the due date.

As for cleaning, here are the basics. Trash needs to be thrown away daily and taken out when the trash fills up or starts to smell or attract pests...whichever comes first. Dishes and utensils should also be washed immediately after use or by the end of the day do dirty dishes do not accumulate in the sink.

Most people need to do laundry every week, and in my opinion, most other cleaning, such as sweeping, mopping, and so on, can be done every week or every two weeks.

As for anxiety, that depends on what you get anxious about and when.Do you have a family member you can talk to or visit with when you're anxious? If not, and it's night, you might try watching some type of comedy to distract you. If it's during the day, perhaps you can visit a place you feel secure.

If you like to read, maybe you can join a book club.

The point is: you have to learn to function on your own. I have AS and live independently, as do many others. The fact that you no longer live with your parents and have a partner is already a sign of independence. Forget about your partner and think about things you'd like to do and get out there and do them.

What's wrong with listening to the same song for months on end anyway? If it's what you want to listen to, go for it. I listen to the same songs for a long time and if other people don't like it they can kiss my arse.

As for the washing up, just use the same cup/glass, plate/bowl, knife/fork/spoon, saucepan(s)/baking tray(s) every day and wash them when you're finished. The first step to being organised is keeping it simple.

As far as housework is concerned, I hardly do it from one month to the next (apart from taking out the rubbish). I usually have a big clear up when I get sick of the mess and then rearrange my home a bit. I usually keep it tidy for a little while after that, but eventually the standards slip and my home degenerates into mess again. And then I get sick of it and start to clean up again and on it goes...

I thought I was the only one who I'd that - I blame my Asperger's!!

Nope, guilty here too. Drives my husband batsh1t crazy. My kitchen and bathrooms get more frequent attention because I absolutely loathe filth in those two areas, but the rest of the apt looks like a tornado went through it. I always say I want to clean and organize, I'll even begin, but after one day I'm exhausted, in incredible pain and nope, that's it, i'm done, lol.