Maybe I should just delete my OKcupid account.

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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
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26 Feb 2011, 4:18 pm

So yeah I have one, because I thought there was the slight chance I might find someone who sucks at social interaction and is not totally comfortable in the dating world like me. But it seems like most who end up sending me messeges come of as people with higher self confidence, who probably did not go through the same type of hellish childhood I did. So yeah I am afraid to even attempt to meet anyone on there in person because I am worried as soon as they find out I have mental problems and never really had friends.......they would make me feel like crap and just ditch me.

So this leaves me with 2 options.
Delete the account and just give up on trying to meet anyone online before I meet them in person.
Or delete it and make a new one where I am more open about myself and don't just list the 'good' things.

Its not a major issue for me.....I mean part of the reason I even had one is because some of the personality quizzes and such are entertaining when I am bored. but then I get irritated about how it seems like no one I would actually connect with has an account on that site.

CoalBogey
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26 Feb 2011, 4:49 pm

Quote:

Or delete it and make a new one where I am more open about myself and don't just list the 'good' things.

Some members here like Grisha, zur-darkstar and jono have apparently had some success by being more open about their AS on OKCupid.

I dunno, I've made - and deleted - something like 4 accounts on there in the past couple of years. I'm too cynical for it.

Moog
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26 Feb 2011, 4:58 pm

You don't have to just do dating through okaycupid. You can change your profile to show that you're only interested in 'new friends, activity partners, long-distance penpals'.

I would keep the account. Social practice can be educational, even online.

I think working on learning how to form friendships before trying to date is a good idea.

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Warsie
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26 Feb 2011, 5:00 pm

Quote:

. But it seems like most who end up sending me messeges come of as people with higher self confidence, who probably did not go through the same type of hellish childhood I did. So yeah I am afraid to even attempt to meet anyone on there in person because I am worried as soon as they find out I have mental problems and never really had friends.......they would make me feel like crap and just ditch me.

For all you know, the social 'confident' people are just posturing on the internet - and given it is the internet they might be making up this personality unconciously or consider it something like an actor drama or how people act on the internet. [some] People do act differently IRL etc etc.

Also specify on okcupid that you are socially incompetent etc that shold filter them down.

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26 Feb 2011, 5:15 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Personally, I think okcupid sucks. But if I were you, I'd try and meet someone who responded to your profile. What have you got to lose? Try doing something that scares the hell out of you to master your fear and not bring the past into the mix. It may actually turn out okay. But if not at least you know you tried and you can pat yourself on the back. I'm trying this with match.com right now. If I don't respond to certain female profiles then I'm at a loss, and pretty soon it could possibly lead to total fear of humanity from mindraping thoughts of a horrific past bringing about complete loss of existence. There has to be love out there somewhere for us.

Grisha
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26 Feb 2011, 6:18 pm

Quote:

But it seems like most who end up sending me messeges come of as people with higher self confidence, who probably did not go through the same type of hellish childhood I did.

There's no way you could know this simply by reading a profile - most other people leave the bad stuff out too.

The only way you will know for sure is if you get to know them in person - I get ditched pretty much 100% of the time - it's not the end of the world, the bad feelings only last a day or two afterwards.

It's like the lottery, the odds are very long but you can't win if you don't play...

Jono
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27 Feb 2011, 6:53 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Don't give up. You can't really know from the profile alone. You either have to ask them via messages on OKCupid or meet them in person and find out then.

Jono
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27 Feb 2011, 6:59 pm

CoalBogey wrote:

Some members here like Grisha, zur-darkstar and jono have apparently had some success by being more open about their AS on OKCupid.

Not exactly. I haven't revealed my AS on my profile like I planned but I did reveal it to the girl I exchanged real e-mail addresses with. I'm still waiting for her to get back to me so I think it's too early to say that I've had success as she could still change her mind. Although I think the fact that she hasn't logged on to OKCupid ever since I sent her that email seems like a good sign.

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27 Feb 2011, 7:35 pm

I deleted it, I might make another but I don't even know.....its not that important.

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