having a crush - NT versus AS ppl.

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Hi there,

what is the difference in behavior and attitude when a AS person falls in love with someone in contrast to a rather normal person?

I am a not so shy any more, but when i get to know someone, and fall in love, then i don't "flirt" with others, because it seems amorally to me. Btw, i am not good in flirting neither. Normal ppl. rather (of course not all) flirt with all, and see what is possible and what not, its more like a game for them, at least it looks like that for me. If it doesn't work out then another one is tried out. While for me i think its the love of my life, even if i am not together with here. Its no game, its a serious thing, one which decides if life is good or bad.

any other contrasts?

bye,
anton

Back in the day - we are a bit past that stage now - I would hang around a bit and talk more than usual, and the object of interest woulds not have the least idea she was in focus.

Of course it was reciprocal - theree is evidence therre were a few [no sway to tell how many] interested to various degrees in me and I had no clue.

ok, what has happened to you then?

Yeah, that flirting thing confuses me too. When is it serious, and when is it just fun?

And why are some people constantly looking for a new temporary relationship, when they are currently in a committed relationship?

People annoy me when they keep joking with people. Sometimes it can be flirting, even to people they don't fancy. My manager at work flirts with every man she sees, between the ages of about 17 to 50 (yes, she is a woman in her 40s and she still flirts with teenagers and youngsters in their 20s). It irritates me.

But, look who's talking! I flirt with older men, and flirting seems to come natural to me. I think that flirting is really odd for a person on the spectrum (but not for NT). Not only is it odd for somebody on the spectrum, it is also odd for somebody who has low self-esteem, Aspie or not. I have low self-esteem, and also low confidence, but if you put me with an older man who I might fancy or he might fancy me, I will be flirting away without realising it. And I also flirt in the right way too.